To Be Human
by Avelera
Summary: When Kyo's bracelet breaks and he is locked in his original form, Tohru and the others are forced to consider if he can ever change back. Will this draw Tohru closer to the Sohmas or force her away from them for good? Kyouru.
1. Chapter 1

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

**Disclaimer**: All characters and curses are property of Takaya Natsuki et al.

**A/N**: My first fic after a long bout of writer's block. Unfortunately, it's not even new, just something I found on my hard drive than I decided needed a few reviews to get the creative juices flowing again. So please, enjoy!

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Akito?" Hiro said, kneeling in front of the dais upon which Akito reclined. He wasn't sure why he had been summoned here but being brought before the leader of the Sohma family was rarely a good thing. With the fear of Akito discovering his rekindled love for Kisa looming over his head it was all he could do to keep his voice from trembling.

"Hiro, there is something you must do for me," Akito said, "It concerns Kyo."

"Kyo?" the Cat was the last thing that the Sheep had expected to hear; nonetheless he gave an inner sigh of relief that Akito had not mentioned Kisa. Yet. "What about Kyo?"

Akito shifted, readjusting the folds of his voluminous robe "The Cat has strayed too far from the Sohma family. I want to teach him a lesson. One that he won't forget."

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" Hiro retorted, trying to hide his growing anxiety.

"Kyo will have to be put back into his place, his _original_ place and you, Hiro, are just the person to put him there," Akito looked Hiro over. He could tell that the boy was uncomfortable with the idea and would need further incentive if he was to perform to his utmost.

His eyes narrowed, "Kisa seems to be doing well lately," he said nonchalantly. "It seems that you have been consorting with her again, despite my warning," Hiro looked up sharply, the pupil's of his large eyes shrunken with fright. Akito paused to give time for this to this sink in.

"But no matter. I am willing to overlook your affection for that… girl if you do what I ask in return," whatever the Sheep said next would be meaningless. No matter how he protested, Akito now had Hiro once again under his control.

Hiro seemed to struggle with the idea but once Kisa was brought up he knew he had already lost. Still…"But Akito, Tohru already saw Kyo's original form and she didn't seem to mind. I mean, she's still there."

A slow smile sliced across his face, "She thought that she could stand his original form but that's because she thought she could do something about it. What will she do, I wonder, if she thought it was permanent?"

Hiro's eyes widened but he said nothing. He didn't like it, but he would do it. For Kisa, he would do it.

* * *

"Argh, we've run out of milk _again_!" Kyo snarled, slamming the refrigerator shut. "OK, who was it _this _time? 'Cause whoever it was they can march down to the store right now and buy some more!"

Shigure peered at Kyo over the top of his newspaper and took another sip of his tea, "Hiro and Kisa used it and they're eating their breakfast now. Why don't _you_ go down and get some more?"

"Ah, never mind, I didn't want it all that much anyway," Kyo mumbled then wandered into the dining room where Hiro and Kisa were eating cereal. Tohru and Yuki were also there, sipping at tea and laughing. 'Gees, why didn't anyone wake me up?' Kyo thought with exasperation and plopped himself down as far away from the damned Rat as possible. Coincidentally, since there was only one place left to sit that happened to be right next to Tohru.

"Good morning, Kyo," Tohru said brightly, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Kyo said and poured himself a bowl of cereal only to remember a second later that all the milk was gone.

"Kyo, what's wrong, you look angry," Tohru said in a worried voice, "Is it something I said?"

"No, Miss Honda, he sometimes acts like this in the morning, its nothing that you've done," Yuki said.

"I do not ya damn Rat!"

"See what I mean?" Yuki sighed.

"Oh…ok," Tohru replied and turned back to Kyo who munching at his dry cereal with a distant look in his eyes.

"Well I'm done," Hiro said, pushing himself away from the table, "Are we going or what?"

"Alright then," Tohru said and stood up. "Kisa, are you ready?"

"Yes, I finished a few minutes ago," Kisa replied.

"Of course she's done; I wouldn't have gotten up if she hadn't been. What are you stupid or something?" Hiro said scathingly.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" Kyo snapped.

"Whatever," Hiro said, rolling his eyes. "So are we going or not?"

"Oh, sure, um let me just grab my purse," Tohru said and dashed out the room. Kyo glared at Hiro, grinding his teeth to keep himself from beating the snot out of the little shit.

"So where are you three going anyway?" Yuki said to Hiro just as he was about to leave the room with Kisa.

"Why do you care? Does it really matter to you where we're going? Why would I have to explain my actions to you? What, do you think you're God or something, is this a confessional?" Hiro replied acidly.

"Forget I asked," he said quietly and turned back to his tea.

"Hiro, we're coming back afterwards, right?" Kisa said in her whispery voice. "I wanted to leave some of my things here and pick them up later, is that ok?"

"Of course it is. I was planning on coming back later anyway," Hiro smiled and for a moment Kyo wondered why the boy felt that he needed to come back for anything.

"Ok, I've got it! Shall we go?" Tohru said, entering the room. Kisa nodded and together they all left the room, Kisa in the middle with Tohru and Hiro holding either hand.

"Why does she let people walk all over her like that?" Kyo muttered and took another bite of his cereal.

"Oh, I don't think she minds," Shigure said, coming in the door that Tohru and the children had just exited. "When it comes to Kisa I think she does it because she's so fond of the girl."

"Yes, but what about Hiro?" Yuki added. Kyo looked up in surprise, hadn't he left already? "I never realized that that boy was so rude to her," he frowned slightly and looked off into the direction that they had left in.

"Yes, Hiro's rudeness is regrettable, but Miss Honda seems to be dealing with it well and I think that Hiro may be improving. He's much better then the way how he was when they first met," Shigure said. "She may very well be able to tame his worse qualities. She's already done it once with Kyo."

"What's that supposed to mean!" snapped Kyo.

"Well it's true," Shigure said. Kyo pondered this for a moment, caught between his pride and insulting Tohru. Pride lost. With a parting scowl he turned back to his cereal bowl only to discover that it was empty. Still scowling he pushed himself to his feet and walked into the kitchen leaving Yuki and Shigure to clean up the rest of the plates.

* * *

"Hello, we're back," Tohru said cheerfully as she opened the door to the house. Shigure was missing, probably working on his manuscript in his office, but Yuki and Kyo were there, pointedly ignoring each other. Kyo was sprawled on the floor watching TV while Yuki sat curled up in one of the chairs reading a book.

"Why, so you are Miss Honda," Yuki said pleasantly, "How was your trip?"

"Oh, it was fine. Kisa, Hiro and I went and saw a movie," she smiled and walked inside revealing Hiro and Kisa framed in the doorway.

"It's ok Kisa, I'll get your stuff for you just tell me where you put it," Hiro said.

"In the kitchen," she said meekly and sat down with Tohru on the couch behind Kyo.

"So how was it?" Kyo muttered into his hands without looking up.

"How was what?" Tohru asked.

"You know, the movie. How was it?"

"Oh, it was fine. It was based on that anime that Kisa and Hiro watched not too long ago."

"They made a movie of that stupid thing?" he spat glancing up at her and instantly regretted it. "Ah hell, you know what I mean. It's ok if you liked it…"

"No, its fine, I can understand that it's not for everyone," she said, slightly taken aback that Kyo had apologized for his outburst so quickly without any prompting from Shigure or Yuki.

"Ok I've got it so let's go," Hiro said walking on from the kitchen with Kisa's bag slung over his back.

"Oh…you're walking?" Tohru said.

"Just to the end of the driveway, you don't have to get so worked up about it," Hiro said as he walked past.

What happened next was a blur. Hiro walked over to the couch just as Kyo began to get up and they both tumbled to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. "Hey! Get off me you damn Sheep!" Kyo shouted trying to push the boy away from him.

"I can't you stupid Cat, you're on my leg!" Hiro shouted back, pushing Kyo's arms away roughly. Tugging his leg out from underneath Kyo's, he jumped to his feet and caught Kisa by the hand. "Come on Kisa, we're going…. Stupid Cat…" he muttered just loud enough for Kyo to hear. Before Kyo could shout back his own retort Hiro had slammed the door behind him.

"Damn punk, acting like it was my fault," Kyo said, straightening his shirt, one hand flickering to straighten the bracelet, "Whatever, I'm going upstairs. I have studying to do."

"Oh, alright then, see you at dinner," Tohru smiled and for a moment Kyo's face softened as he looked at her before heading upstairs.

* * *

Hiro fingered the black and white beads in his pocket as Kisa's mom drove them back to her house. He wondered how much longer he had until Kyo and the others figured out what happened. He knew they wouldn't suspect him, not at first at least. Akito had seen to that.

"_Once you have stolen the bracelet replace it with this one," Akito explained, proffering another set of beads identical to the one's that Kyo wore, "It will only work for about an hour. That should give you enough time to leave. As long as you don't do anything stupid," he smirked. Hiro nodded and turned to leave the room._

"_Oh and Hiro," he called just as the boy was closing the door behind him. "If you fail I will do nothing to you but do not expect to see Kisa ever again."_

Hiro suppressed a shudder as he remembered the icy feeling that encounter had left in the pit of his stomach. The first thing he had wanted to do once he left that room was throw the phony beads as far away as he could but Akito had made sure that he wouldn't do that.

"Hiro, what's wrong?" Kisa said in her cute little voice. Hiro couldn't help but smile. Though he knew it was wrong but doing this for Akito had guaranteed that she would never be hurt again.

"Nothing, just a little cold," he said.

"Oh…" she said, "Would you like my coat?"

"No, its ok," he replied, waving it away. "But…"

"Yes?"

"Is it…is it ok if I…put my arm around you?" he said, wringing his shirt with nervousness, "That should warm me up."

For a moment Kisa was speechless then with a shy nod she leaned in to him and he pulled her closer into his arms. They sat like this all the way home, and for the first time since elementary school, Hiro Sohma was truly happy.

* * *

Kyo looked up from his textbook at the sound of someone knocking at his door. "Come in," he called, knowing that it wasn't Yuki since as long as he had lived here the damned Rat had never sought his company.

"Umm, Kyo?" Tohru said hesitantly, peaking her head into the room, "Dinner's ready, do you want to come downstairs?"

"Yeah, sure just a minute," he said, finishing off the last math problem and closing the book. He looked and was surprised to see that Tohru was still there, "You can go downstairs if you like; I'll be there in a moment."

"No, its ok, I'll just wait," she said, "Oh! Unless I'm making it hard for you to concentrate in which case I'll just leave right now," and rushed to close the door behind her.

"No, its ok, you don't have to leave if you don't want," he said pushing himself to his feet, "I was just finishing anyway," walking towards the door he felt a peculiar rumbling in his stomach that ended in a sharp jerk of pain, 'What the…? That can't be 'cause I'm hungry…'

"Kyo, what's wrong, you look pale," Tohru said, at his side in a flash.

"I don't..." his breath was cut short as another violent tremor ripped through his body, this time dropping him to his knees with a grunt.

"Kyo!" Tohru cried, "Oh no, what do I do! Uh…uh…" Kyo's eyes slashed to slits and began to glow violet. Throwing back his head he gave a cat-like yowl of pain and collapsed to the floor. "Oh no! Shigure! Somebody, call an ambulance!" Downstairs the sound of doors slamming and feet pounding up the stairs shook the house.

"Tohru, get out!" Kyo gasped, "It's- I'm…" a scream of pain erupted from his throat cutting his words short. Tohru suddenly felt his flesh moving underneath her hand as bone and sinew began to shift unnaturally, globs of fleshing beading towards his grotesquely bloated hands. "GET OUT!" he roared more beast than man. Tohru turned back just in time to see his face elongate and his shirt shred to pieces as his torso began to twist into the misshapen contortions of his original form.

"No, Kyo!" Shigure shouted, rushing to his side.

"Stay away from me!" Kyo bellowed and backhanded Shigure away from him with terrifying force, his voice now overlain with the alien tones of the Cat's evil spirit.

Shigure slammed against the wall with a sickening crunch then fell bonelessly on to Kyo's bed. "The bracelet, where is it!" Shigure gasped, pushing himself up on one arm.

"It's on his wrist," Tohru said fearfully and before her very eyes the bracelet snapped under the pressure of Kyo's rapidly growing arms.

"What is it, what's going on!" Yuki shouted appearing at the door. It took him a moment to absorb the chaos before him. Shigure was sprawled brokenly across Kyo's bed and Kyo himself lay writhing on the floor as the last steps of his transformation into his original form contorted his body into a demon.

And Tohru… lay kneeling on the ground, one hand still resting on Kyo's shoulders as the other frantically scrabbled to gather together the scattered beads on the floor.

"How…?" Yuki gasped the site of the black and white beads sent a bolt of fear through him. "That's impossible; the beads are what keep him from transforming!" Tohru looked up at him with tear-filled eyes and suddenly everything went quiet. All that could be hard was the heavy breathing of the Cat demon.

"Kyo," gasped Shigure, "Kyo, don't…don't run. We can't help you if you run."

The Cat demon's muscles twitched as if he had been contemplating just that then looked down to see Tohru's hand was still on his shoulder. In her other hand was a pile of beads. "Please don't run, Kyo. Its ok, I'm frightened but what scares me more is why the bracelet stopped working, not you," a tear wound its way down her cheek and her voice began to quiver, "Please…don't run away from us," Kyo turned his great head away but he did not move; nor did he try to brush Tohru away.

"I'll go call Hatori," Shigure grimaced, pushing himself off the bed then falling back down again as a sharp pain drove the air out of his lungs. "On second thought," he gasped, "I think I made need Hatori's help as well. Yuki?"

Yuki nodded shakily and dashed downstairs to get the phone. Shigure gave a sigh and slowly eased himself back onto the bed, his breathing labored.

The sound of Yuki's barely calm voice wafted upstairs; mingling with the sound of Tohru's sniffles and Shigure's pained breathing.

'This wasn't supposed to happen,' Kyo thought to himself, staring down at his clawed hands uncomprehendingly. "It's not raining."

Shigure's heads shot up (though Tohru did not seem as surprised) and his expression riddled with shock, "Y-you can talk?" Shigure said. Kyo nodded slowly but did not speak further.

"What do you mean, it's not raining?" Tohru said softly, placing a hand on Kyo's arm.

"I-," Kyo winced at the beastlike snarl that emerged with his words, "I don't transform when I lose the bracelet unless it's raining," Shigure propped himself up on his elbow despite the pain and gazed out the window, his head cocked to the side listening for the faintest whisper of rain. But there was none to be had. The sky was crystal clear, the velvety blackness glimmering with scattered stars that sparkled like trapped fireflies.

"I called Hatori. He said he would come as soon as possible," Yuki said reentering the room. "Akito just had some sort of attack. Once Hatori gets him to bed he will be right over."

"Well that's good," Tohru smiled, the oddity of Kyo's transformation forgotten for now, "Hatori should be able to make things right," Yuki and Shigure exchanged glance, both knowing full well that Kyo's malady was beyond anyone's skill to heal.

"Yuki, would you be so kind as to help me get to my room?" Shigure said, "I would go myself but…" he tried to sit up but a grunt of pain sent him right back down again, "I don't want to move too much in case I damage myself further." Turning his head to the side he said with a glimmer of his old humor, "By the way, Kyo, have you ever considered fighting Yuki in that form? I know firsthand that your strength and speed are at least doubled and the smell alone may be enough to knock him out!"

Yuki paused mid-step to Shigure's side, "That wasn't funny, Shigure."

Shigure grinned at him but something in Yuki's tone chilled him. It had threatened a great deal of pain but at the same time… it sounded like Yuki truly had been hurt too by his callous remark. And if Yuki thought he had overstepped his bounds... He turned to look at Tohru, realizing the depth of his error as he saw the stricken expression on her face. What was worse was that even Kyo was staring at him, his shock and hurt apparent even in the alien exterior. It was almost as if he could see Kyo in his human form through the grotesque shell and nothing could wipe the grin off his face faster than that.

"Sorry, I-,"

"Miss Honda, would you be so kind?" Yuki said with a tinge of frost in his voice though it was not directed at her.

"But Yuki…I don't think I'm strong enough to... Oh! How silly of me," carefully placing the beads on the table she walked up to Shigure and wrapped her arms around him.

"Y'know, maybe being cursed isn't so-," POOF!

"Thank you," Yuki said and walked out of the room carrying Shigure, now in the form of a small black dog.

"Kyo…" Tohru said, returning to his side, "Don't worry, Kyo, Hatori will be here in a little while. He'll make things right again," Kyo said nothing, refusing to even look at her. Wordlessly she sat down next to him and wrapped her thin pale arms around his misshapen ones. At first she thought he was going to pull away but he did nothing, almost as if she wasn't there. But she saw, she knew and so she reached out to him, in that special way that only Tohru could. Just when he needed it.

* * *

Akito smirked as waves of anger and fear rolled over the bond she shared with Kyo. As the bearer of the core of the Sohma Curse she had such a bond with all the zodiac members, whether they liked it or not. At all times she could feel their extreme emotions: their anger, their fear, their love, all laid out before her as if on display. It infuriated her whenever she felt happiness, true happiness, from those beyond her immediate control like Kyo and Yuki. It all came from that outside world, the world she could never enter because of the Curse that would soon end her life.

None of the zodiac members knew for sure that the bond existed though a few of them suspected, like Hatori who oftentimes wondered how Akito could know so much about each individual member of the zodiac even though she had not heard from them for long periods of time. But even Hatori did not suspect that the bond went further. It allowed her, to a small extent, to control the effects of the Curse on all but herself, even the Cat who was not a true member of the zodiac.

In truth it was not a difficult task to halt the Cat's transformation in that of his original form. The demonic form of the cat was an evil creature and thus negative emotions like anger, hate, and fear only strengthened that form.

Her smile was somewhat lessened as the self-loathing that came across the bond receded. But it was not enough to free the Cat. Sooner or later Kyo would come to believe that the transformation was permanent.

Then it was only a matter of time before that foolish girl did as well.

* * *

**A/N**: I keep up to date with the manga translations fresh from Japan. As a result I know of quite a few spoilers that will not be showing up over here in the U.S. for quite some time.

Spoilers from the manga will be being used for the remainder of the fic. As for the change in prepositions when it came to Akito, the first section was from Hiro's point of view hence Akito was referred to as male. However, those who know Akito's true sex (including Akito herself) will henceforth refer to Akito as 'she' unless speaking to those who don't know.

As always, please show your appreciation (or dislike) by reviewing!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

Disclaimer: From this chapter on the only disclaimer will be found in chapter 1.

A/N: Like I said before the first few chapters were written some time ago (I just hope they don't get worse as they become more recent!) but this one needed some revision now that there's more info available on the true nature of the curse.

I'm not sure if Beauty and the Beast (in addition to the cliché) is an appropriate title for this fic anymore. Originally B&B was supposed to only encompass Kyo and his struggle with the original form. Now I'm thinking on a much broader scope. This could turn into a long fic!

As for spoilers, I've decided to use as background spoilers about Akito, Kureno, and the nature of the curse. I have even borrowed some direct quotes from manga that has not yet been released in America. If you go back to the first chapter the last section has been edited to coincide.

Thank you for reading, please enjoy!

* * *

"Hatori, it's good to see you, come in," Yuki said, opening the door for the older Zodiac member. 

"I came as quickly as I could. Now, where's Shigure?" he said briskly.

"Shigure? What about Kyo?" Yuki asked in his soft voice, tinged equally with worry and incredulity. Perhaps even a little anger. To this day Yuki had trouble forgiving the doctor.

"From what you described it sounds like Shigure may have broken a rib or worse, by far the more serious of the two injuries. Besides," he lowered his voice, "you and I both know perfectly well that there is nothing I can do for Kyo," Yuki nodded mutely though his eyes were wide with the implications of what Hatori was saying.

"His room is this way," Yuki said, gesturing for Hatori to follow him.

"Yes, I know. You didn't move him, did you?" the look of discomfort on Yuki's face was all he needed. "No matter, it would have been better if you hadn't but I trust you were careful enough to prevent further damage. Why don't you go check on Kyo and Tohru while I tend to Shigure?" At the top of the stairs Yuki went off in the direction of Kyo's room while Hatori, medical bag in hand, headed towards Shigure's. There he found the door ajar and let himself in. As usual the room looked like it had been torn apart by rampaging puppies. But that had not bothered Hatori before and it didn't bother him now. All that concerned him was Shigure, lying beneath the covers of his bed, his breath emerging in painful gasps.

"Hello, Shigure," Hatori said, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Hari…you came more…quickly…than I expected," he said, a trace of his familiar smile stretching across his face.

"When Akito heard what had happened she told me to come here right away," Shigure said emotionlessly, and began to remove the instruments from his bag, placing them carefully upon the comforter.

"Akito?" Shigure said, his eyes widening.

"You needn't look so surprised. She is the head of the family after all; your-our welfare is her greatest concern."

"Still, it doesn't sound like her to give you up to us so easily, especially to me," Shigure said and took a deep breath as Hatori pressed a stethoscope to his chest. "It's cold!" Hatori gave him a look then without any change of expression warmed the stethoscope on his hand and replaced it on Shigure's chest. Once he had found what he needed he removed the stethoscope and began to probe at Shigure's torso with his fingers, applying gentle pressure that nonetheless made Shigure wince in pain.

"You have two cracked ribs but it's hardly fatal. The external bruising should fade in short order; a week, maybe two. I'll bind it but you have to be sure not to move more than necessary for the next few days and don't overexert yourself."

"Oh, Hari, you're so cruel," Shigure cried, streams of tears cascading down his face. "Here I am dying and you poke me and prod me and tell me its nothing. You know how fragile I am, I couldn't possibly-," Hatori gave him a _look_.

"No I will not write a letter to your editor telling her you're in a coma," Hari said. Shigure's face fell but Hatori continued as if nothing had happened. "Kyo did this, I presume?"

"Yes," Shigure said, suddenly serious, "I ran in just as he was beginning to transform and he knocked me aside before I could get Tohru away from him. I knew he is even more volatile that usual in that form, but I didn't realize how much stronger he was until he sent me flying."

"It is just as before," Hatori said, "When he last assumed his original form."

"No… its not," Shigure disagreed, "He knows now that Tohru won't hate him because of it, the pain is not nearly as great nor the shock. However…Hatori, do you think… it could be permanent?" Shigure said his voice once more somber, perhapseven a little fearful.

"I do not know. Until rather recently the Cat was locked away while still young, now it has become the unspoken rule to allow them to reach adulthood first. Not many people, myself included, know the details on why this is necessary. I suppose it is possible that the Cat is locked away once it can no longer restrain its original form. However, if you return his beads to him he will probably revert."

"Hari…his beads broke," Hatori froze, one hand poised to help Shigure sit up straight so he could wrap the bandages.

"And he is still in the demonic form?" Hatori said. Shigure nodded and Hatori carefully pulled him into a sitting position. "Then there is nothing we can do."

The silence fell heavy around them. For a moment the house seemed dead, not a whisper of sound from any corner. Somewhere in the forest, a dog howled.

"But what if the Curse was lifted?" Shigure said in the wake of the broken silence.

"You and I both know that is impossible."

"But is it?" Hatori eyed Shigure warily. It was said that of all the Zodiac members, Shigure knew the most about the Curse but he had never divulged his information with anyone, even his closest friends Hatori and Ayame. Many had come to believe that it had just been a rumor, but Hatori remembered back in high school when Shigure's infamous girl-chasing had led him on a desperate quest to break the Sohma Curse, but to no avail. Between that and what he knew of Akito's relationship with the Dog, Hatori realized that if anyone knew how to break the Curse, it was Shigure. '_Don't you hear it coming_?'

"You should get some rest, if you exhaust yourself you'll only make the healing process take longer," Hatori said feeling a tingle of uneasiness and began to put his instruments away.

"No," Shigure's hand snaked out and caught Hatori's arm before he could move. There was something otherworldly in his tone, and his whisper rang like a death knell "Can't you hear it? The sound of something about to break."

"What are you talking about?" Hatori said, unconsciously mimicking Shigure's whisper.

"Don't you know why _she's_ so afraid? Why her fear is beginning to border on insanity?" said Shigure, "She can feel it. We're being pulled apart from each other. The curse is weakening…and I'm not entirely sure it's accidental."

"How do you mean?"

"There've been a lot of coincidences. All of the animals alive at the same time, the god returning to us and taking the form of a girl. No matter how hard Ren tried she could not change that fact. Akito was born a woman so we would love her. For good or ill, to free us or to bind us tighter than ever before."

"And then there's her," Shigure paused, his eyes drifting towards the door as if to stare through the wall to Kyo's room. "Her, Tohru. She seems to go beyond coincidence. I took her in as a joke, a jab at Akito if you will and a bit of an experiment, to see what would happen if an outsider joined us," Shigure laughed self-consciously, "I expected a rustle and I brought on an earthquake. Tohru has changed everything and if there's one thing Akito fears… its change."

"The animals of the zodiac are drifting away, finding new lives…" Hatori murmured.

"And there, I think, lies the way to break it," Shigure finished. "For some of us it has already happened."

At this Hatori's head shot up. Until then he had been staring into the distance but he was anything but far away now. "What? How?"

"Kureno. But I don't know how or why," Shigure's tone was tinged with bitterness. It usually was when he spoke of the Rooster to the rest to the Mabudachi, though this was a rare occurrence.

"That does answer some questions," Hatori said, and fishing in his coat pocket pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Shigure waved away the proffered cigarette and with a shrug Hatori lit his own and inhaled deeply. "But it leaves us with more than we began. To the point then, how will this help Kyo? This unexplained transformation leaves me a bit uneasy. I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist, I don't know what to tell him to ease his fears. Are you saying the end of the curse is imminent? Is there a way to break it rather than just waiting for it to unravel?"

Shigure smiled, "No idea."

Hatori blinked at this. "Well then I've wasted enough time with you," he smiled to take the bite out of his words, "If you'll excuse me, I have another patient to attend to. You should rest in the meantime."

Hatori rose to his feet but hesitated momentarily at the door. "And…if you learn anything more…"

"I'll let you know," Shigure replied. But of course, Hatori knew the Dog would only tell what he felt like telling.

* * *

"…Do you think it could be permanent?" 

"…the Cat is locked away once it cannot restrain its original form…"

"…his beads broke."

"…nothing we can do…"

Kyo buried his face in his hands as every word confirmed what he had already known. Tohru sat beside him on the bed, leaning her head against his shoulder with her eyes closed dozing lightly. 'So she doesn't have to see me,' Kyo thought, his hands tightening into fists to keep them from tearing something apart.

"…nothing we can do…"

'I'm going to be like this forever… locked in a cage like an animal,' fear turned his veins to ice. Snarling he flung himself off the bed and bolted for the window. He couldn't stand to be here, surrounded by normal people, people who never had to worry that they would becoming a…a monster. Poised on the balcony he contemplated fleeing into the forest, running until he could run no more and still further, until he was so far away that nobody would ever find him. But Tohru's words, the thought of never seeing her again, even if the very sight of him was repulsive to her, checked him and instead he leapt to the roof, his sanctuary in a world that was crumbling around him.

"Kyo!" he heard Tohru shout from inside the room but he ignored her and continued his climb to the lonely gable. For now he wanted to be alone, without her smiling face to give him false hope. Alone to think about his future for the last time.

* * *

A/N: I'm thinking of acquiring a beta-reader. Any takers? Knowledge of the Fruits Basket anime and manga would be appreciated (I'm looking at you Anonymous Human, since you caught that error in the first chapter). 

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than I'd like it to be but it is also the last of the chapter's saved on my harddrive. Everything after this is new.

By the way, for clarification (also applies to earlier and later chapters):

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

_Emphasis_ or _Memories_

Please, enjoy!

* * *

"Miss Honda?" Yuki inquired, opening the door to Kyo's room to find Tohru staring out onto the balcony, wringing her hands and calling for Kyo. At the sound of his voice she spun around, her eyes wide with worry. 

"Yuki, I'm so sorry! Kyo just ran out of the room and I think it was something I said, or did but I wasn't doing anything except I fell asleep. Oh! What if he wanted someone to talk to? It's all my fault! And now he's gone and what if he's not here when Hatori comes, then no one will be able to…" she had gone into complete panic-mode, carried away by the possibility that it was her fault that Kyo had left. Yuki raised a mollifying hand to silence her.

"It's not your fault, Miss Honda. Kyo is going through a terrible ordeal. I think he needs some time to think before we go looking for him. He's probably on the roof anyway," he gave her a comforting smile that brought her back down to earth but the worry was still there in the crease of her brow. 'And for once even I am worried about that stupid Cat. I think that this house would be better off without him but I wouldn't wish his fate on anyone,' Yuki thought to himself.

"Yuki, is it true?" Tohru said hesitantly, "That Kyo…that Kyo might never change back?"

Yuki froze on the edge of comforting her, completely at a loss at what to say. He knew right away that there was no lying to her but the truth was harsh and it was still too early to tell whether or not there was any hope for Kyo. "I don't know," was all he could say, "I don't think anybody does…even Akito," still wearing that perplexed look he walked over to sit on Kyo's bed and was soon joined by Tohru. For a while they sat in total silence, too overwhelmed to muster even small talk. The hush stretched across minutes that felt like hours, the only sound the creaking of the wind in the trees and the faint murmurs of Shigure and Hatori down that hall that was too quiet for either of them to make out.

Lost in thought it took Yuki a moment to figure out the source of the faint tremors that shook the bed, glancing towards Tohru he was surprised then horrified to realize that she was crying silently as was her way so she didn't disturb his thoughts. 'That's so like her,' he thought and wordlessly wrapped one arm around her. Not so close as to trigger the Curse, but it was enough. She grasped his hand like a life line and held it tight, her sobs finally taking voice as fat tear drops stained her skirt like rain. He was vaguely aware that Shigure and Hatori's conversation had ended and that the doctor would soon come up to examine Kyo. Catching Tohru's chin in his hand he touched his forehead to hers and felt her start at their sudden closeness. He gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile and said gently, "Don't worry, Miss Honda, we'll do everything we can for Kyo, you'll see," a tentative smile touched her face and Yuki reached up to brush away the last of her tears. Just then there was a quiet knock on the door and Hatori entered, his medical bag in hand.

"Come inside, Kyo, and I'll see what I can do," he said, looking passed Yuki and Tohru to the balcony.

There stood Kyo in his original form but he wasn't paying any attention to Hatori, instead staring with an unidentifiable expression at Tohru and Yuki. Tohru quickly pulled away and seemed ready to go to him but a narrowing of his reptilian eyes froze her where she stood. Swinging his head towards Yuki he flexed his claws and emitted a low snarl from deep within his chest. Hatori watched as the scene unfolded, his impassive mask hiding the initial shock of seeing the Cat's monstrous original form. Everything that he had heard was true, from the reptilian skull to the stench of the grave that lingered in the air around it. But being told what to expect did not prepare him for the shock of actually seeing it. Even knowing what he knew now he could not help but wonder what heinous crime the Cat committed to deserve such a loathsome form.

'Nothing,' he told himself, 'He's just a boy. A hurt and confused boy, probably angry at the world, who has done nothing wrong in his life but be born under the Cat,' and it was that boy that he was going to try to reach now and draw from the darkness that would surely consume him.

Before Kyo could once again flee to his rooftop haven, Hatori strode to his side and shut the screen door behind him, leaving Yuki and Tohru alone once more in Kyo's room.

"I'm here, Kyo," Hatori said, leaning against the balcony as he spoke to the creature that deep within housed the flame-haired young man. "I'm not sure what Yuki expected when he called me here but I'll do what I can to help you," Kyo refused to meet his eye, instead staring out of the corner of his eye at the closed balcony door as if he could see through it to the two teens on the other side. Hatori sighed inwardly, doubting that Kyo would be receptive to him in his present state but resolved to try anyway. "There is little I can do for you. As a doctor I am adept at healing physical injuries but the original form is far beyond that."

"Tell me something I don't know," Kyo muttered. Hatori noted with surprise that Kyo's speech was remarkably clear, more akin to that of his human form. Obviously he was adjusting to the unfamiliar set of vocal chords.

Hatori placed his bag on the ground and folded his arms, "Very well then, to get to the point, what is happening to you right now is unprecedented, even from the time before the rosary was used as a bracelet to contain the original form. The Cat has always transformed back into a human once the stress had passed. Clearly something is amiss."

"And what if it's not?" Kyo said in a surly voice.

Hatori's gaze was piercing, "Then there is nothing that any of us can do. For now let us assume that something has gone wrong."

'Because if hasn't I'm stuck like this…forever,' Kyo realized. It didn't seem real, not yet. Like what he had just witnessed in the other room. How could she? Deep down he had wanted her to tell him he was wrong, to make it all better like she had done for so many. But he knew…Tohru's words and insights could do nothing here, even she wanted to deal with something as loathsome as himself. 'Is it because she can't stand to look at me? What if she won't be able to bear it? What if she…leaves?'

"This does not mean you should distance yourself from us. Despite what you may believe even Yuki is concerned for you right now."

'Yeah right, like that damned Rat couldn't care less about what was happening to me. He's probably glad,' Kyo thought, 'Glad that I'm out of the picture so he can…' he couldn't even think it. He had just seen them on the verge of kissing. It was only a matter of time before Yuki told her how he felt. 'And then the Rat will have beat me again,' he thought, clenching his fists.

Hatori continued on, oblivious to the tortured thoughts running through Kyo's mind, "Can you tell me about the other instance of your transformation?" Besides when Kazuma ripped them off there was only that time front of Akito when he had been terrified out of his mind. Terrified and angry that he had been born with this...this demon inside of him just waiting to assume its shape…its _original form_. "Its very important that you…"

He had failed. All his life he had been fighting to keep the original form in check and he hadn't even known it. Somehow he had lost without even being aware there was a fight and now he had to pay the price. The image of the demon in his mind began to morph into the shape of another hated enemy…the Rat. Two battles to live a normal life, to be _free _to live his own life, and he had lost both. A wordless roar rose in the back of his throat but viciously smothered it, 'I am not an animal!' he thought fiercely, 'I may look like one but I won't become one!' for some reason Tohru's face flashed in his mind, strengthening his resolve, 'I won't!'

"Kyo, are you listening? You cannot withdraw into your shell or else you will lose what little hope you have," Hatori debated telling Kyo what he now knew about the Curse but reluctantly decided against it. Better not to give him false hope when there was still real hope to be found.

"What hope!" Kyo growled. "Did Akito put out the other eye too or are you just stupid? The beads are _broken_, I'm never gonna change back!" his eyes widened as the full weight of his own words hit him like a sledgehammer. 'Never going to…'

With a wordless howl of fear and a rush of air, Kyo was gone. Hatori's gaze swiveled to the ground, his ears cocked for the sound of Kyo dashing into the woods but there was none. He looked up just in time to see Kyo's clawed foot disappear over the eaves of the roof. Hatori's lips moved to call after him but no words came out. With a rueful sigh he picked up his medical bag and headed back inside. Standing at the door, his hand poised on the verge of pulling it open he looked up into the clear, starry sky." If you refuse to help yourself then there truly is no way any of us can help you. It is your own negative emotions that trap you," just loud enough for the Cat to hear. The balcony was flooded with light from inside the room then just as quickly slid back into darkness, leaving Kyo alone with his fear once more.

* * *

A/N: Much more to come, please review! 


	4. Chapter 4

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

A/N: I'm glad so many of you have lived my story so far! Here's the next chapter, the first of the one's written recently. Please enjoy and do forgive my little joke :)

* * *

_Beauty and the Beast:  
A Tragic Romance_

_And though the first time she had seen the monstrous thing the lovely girl had fled, she had come to realize the pain she had inflicted on her love. For in truth, he could not effect his own form, its beauty or its ugliness. Cursed, he was forced to exist as he was. And so she steeled herself to return to him. Wearing a simple dress of satin with a low plunging neckline that showed off her long beautiful neck and shapely breasts, the girl returned in tears to make amends. _

_Her knock was timid but when she received no invitation she timidly let herself in. Her love was lying across the bed, as beautiful as if the curse had never touched him. His midnight hair splayed across the deep pillows and his ebony orbs spilling tears upon his cheek. _

"_Oh where has my little flower gone to," he moaned, "If only I could see her beautiful brown hair, hear her soft voice, cup those lovely bre-,"_

"_Ahem," she coughed._

_The man sprang to his feet. His shirt hung about him like a loose sheet and his well oiled muscles gleamed in the setting sun. The girl felt inexplicably warm just looking at him and a tingling sensation ran through her body, all the way down._

'_She must be cold,' the man realized but so caught up in emotion was he that he said nothing, only gazed upon her with adoring eyes. _

_Her tears moved him to speak, "My darling I know how frightened you must be, conversing with a monster such as myself, a freak of nature. No woman could look upon me but with apprehension. Such is my curse," taking her in his arms he led her petite form to his bed. The satin sheets welcomed them with cloudl-like lusciousness and gave off a faint scent of passionate flowers. She continued to sob, pressing herself into his arms, giving herself to him and he took her, pulling her into his lap and inclining his head._

_Her sapphire orbs met his dark, passionate ones and the chill returned once more. "Please…" she gasped._

"_No, I must not," he suddenly proclaimed. "How dare I take your precious maidenhood when you hold me in such fear? Oh how can I even be worthy to look upon you, my flower?"_

"_No my love, please," she exclaimed, "Take me! I was afraid at first, but the fear has passed leaving only," her voice deepened with passion, "desire."_

"_But how could you love one such as me?" he groaned, "A freak…"  
_

"_Nay!" she said, "You are large, yes, monstrously so but I am no longer afraid. I want…to give myself to you," pressing herself against him she breathed into his ear, "Body…and soul."_

"_Oh my love," he whispered. Pressing his mouth to hers he began removing her-_

"SHIGURE!" Mii howled, "You sent me the wrong manuscript! I need 500 pages of literature, not 50 pages of smut! That's not till next month! AND THIS ISN'T EVEN FINISHED EITHER!" she wailed, flipping through the hand scribbled notebook paper. Like a puppet bereft of its strings she sagged to the ground, crying like a fountain, "Why? Why me! I didn't do anything wrong, why am I tortured like this? Am I in Hell, did I die? Is this afterlife? Only one way to find out, yes, I'll just have to go hang myself…or better yet, fire, yes, and I'll take the house with me…" Mii continued to babble, unaware of Shigure's softly padding footsteps, the light swish of the sliding door or even how he removed the packet of notebook paper from her hands and replaced it with a thick, neatly typed manuscript.

"That's a good girl," he whispered cheerfully and shut the door again.

By now Mii's suicidal bout had ebbed somewhat, at least enough for her to look down at unmistakably fine literature with a little puppy dog giving a peace sign on the envelope.

"Huh- it was already done? But then why did he send me that smut? Why, WHY, _WHY_! SHIGURE!" knowing she lacked the strength to face the bane of her existence, Mii dragged herself to her feet and stumbled back down the road, hobbling as if her spirit was broken and clutching the packet like it was a lifeline, still muttering to herself. Shigure watched her from the window, a little smile one his face before he turned back inside humming….

Only to run face to face into Tohru. Things might have taken a turn for the awkward had the notebook not prevented them from colliding.

"Oh Tohru," Shigure said in a sing-song voice, "What a pleasure to see you!"

"Uh, Shigure," Tohru said nervously, "Aren't you supposed to be in bed? Hatori said-."

"Never mind Hari, Tohru you are as beautiful as ever, an inspiration! In fact," he said rubbing his non-existent goatee, "You are the star of my next book. The love-interest, if you will."

"Huh, what!" Tohru said stumbling back a step, all Hatori's medical advice forgotten. As intended. "Me, the star of one of your novels? Oh, Shigure, it's too much! I'm so honored!" She had a brief flash of what Kyo would have to say about it but still Shigure was such a wonderful novelist and she felt so flattered she almost forgot what she had come here for.

Shigure had almost made it to the kitchen door when Tohru caught up with him again. "Um, Shigure, uh, that is, if it's not too much trouble…" her face was flushed to shame a fire truck, "CouldyoupleasecalltheschoolandtellthemI'msick?"

Shigure blinked one, twice, unsure he had heard right. Or even if it was a language he had heard. "You want me to what?"

"AH! Never mind it's too much to ask and it's dishonest too and I wouldn't want to make you lie but I really think I should stay here with Kyo because well…" tears glimmered on her lower lashes and she gave Shigure a look that with the right intent behind it could be deadly. It was all he could do to no agree with her on the spot and that was simply because he still had no idea what she was talking about. "I want to… I mean he deserves…"

"Ah!" Shigure exclaimed making Tohru jump, "You want me to call the school and tell them that you and Kyo can't come today?" Tohru nodded miserably.

"Well, for something so serious I doubt a phone call would really cut it. After all, as your guardian it is my duty to make sure your academic record is not besmirched by…skipping school," Tohru's eyes positively glistened with thankfulness, "I'll just head on over there and tell them that you and Kyo are sick. How does that sound?"

"Oh, thank you, that's so kind of you!" Tohru gushed but Shigure was already heading for the door, humming a little tune.

'High school girls, high school girls, so man-_y_! High school girls…'

* * *

Once Shigure had left Tohru looked sadly up the stairs towards the roof. All night and Kyo still hadn't come down. He was probably hungry and who knows how much he needed to eat in that form. If she was going to stay home and take care of him, no matter how frightened she was, she would go to him now. It was the least she could do. 

'He's probably on the roof,' Tohru thought as she slid open the door to Kyo's room, a bowl of that morning's breakfast balanced on one hand. The stench of the grave seemed to have lessened but she soon realized that it was her own nose becoming somehow accustomed to it. The room was dark but for small pools of light by the windows that cast a faint glow over the hunched form seated on the bed. Kyo's now knobbed and bony spine pressing against the leathery skin of his back (how quickly she had stopped separating the original form and Kyo in her mind, Tohru realized a bit fearfully) was turned towards her, his face was obscured.

"Kyo?" Tohru said tentatively, setting down the bowl by the door and moving towards the hunched form. Even or perhaps because she was not a zodiac member she still had not accustomed herself to Kyo's demonic form. There was something unsettling, almost primal and instinctive like one's innate fear of snakes or bugs that told her to back away and stop her forward pace. Had it been like this the first time? She couldn't remember. Many of the events of that night were clouded by a haze of emotion and painful memories.

"What?" Kyo growled. Except for a faint overtone his voice was almost back to normal and she felt herself relax somewhat.

"Umm, I brought you breakfast. Oh, and don't worry about school. Shigure's gone over to tell them we're both sick today," Tohru said.

Kyo looked away, "Just leave it by the door."

"Oh, ok," Tohru said but hesitated by the door. It felt wrong, leaving him like this in the darkness. Closing the door she stayed as quiet as possible and watched Kyo. She wasn't sure why, but it seemed the more she looked at him the easier it was to imagine that inside that body he was there, as if nothing had happened.

"You're still here?" Kyo said. Tohru sighed in defeat. She never was good at being stealthy. "Just go already, will ya?"

"Wha-what?" Tohru said, surprised at his vehemence.

"I said go. Go to school, get out of here, _leave me alone_," Tohru suddenly realized that Kyo's voice was perfectly normal. The growl was because he was angry, angry at _her_. The full malevolence of the original form's purple eyes leveled on her and suddenly she was as able to flee as a mouse caught in the sight of a cobra. "You don't want to be here anyway, so get out!"

"Kyo-," Tohru whispered, tears stinging her eyes and strangling her throat.

"Go and be with that _damned_ Rat," Kyo was suddenly on his feet and facing her. "It's what you want, isn't it? You don't want to be stuck here with some monster, and I don't want you here either! So get-," Tohru's face was ashen and tears ran unnoticed down her cheek, "out," Kyo finished feebly. 'She's terrified of me,' he realized, 'I really am just what Akito said… a monster.'

For a moment at the thought of her leaving, really leaving, and never coming back he felt the strength drain from his body, as if he were about to collapse. Instead he sat back down on the bed. "Please," he whispered, unsure whether he spoke to the one before him or begged the one in his dream. "Don't," _be afraid_, "stay here if you don't want to. I-I'm sorry for scaring you. Tohru, I-," now that he was no longer looming over her, Tohru seemed to relax and her hand went behind her to the door, 'She's going to run now that she has the chance,' Kyo thought. '_She's going to run_.' "Don't go!"

Tohru finished steadying herself on the wall and looked up, momentarily puzzled. Kyo realized he wasn't helping matters, one minute snarling like a beast for her to leave the next begging like a child. 'I should just let her do what she wants. Even if I have to honor her wish to be with Yuki,' Kyo thought. 'I have to let go... before I hurt her even more. Before they take me away.'

Tohru rose to her feet, taking a step towards him, then another. The fear was gone from her face, but the tears continued to fall.

All Kyo could do was watch her, paralyzed. And suddenly he realized, just as he had that day when she first reached out her hand and said that she wanted for them to stay together, that she was crying for him. And this time, it was her reaching out to hold him.

Perhaps it was some divine joke of cruelty and injustice, but there was no sound, no sudden disorientation as the curse was activated by a woman's touch. Only in his most loathsome form could Tohru hold him as one human holds another. And only in this form could she fill him with so much emotion with only a few simple words.

"I won't, Kyo. I won't go."

* * *

A/N: That's not all, folks, there's a great deal more to come! Shigure's romance novel was a bit of a joke on my part, since this fic will need what levity it can get. I used some of my least favorite 'literary devices' (like calling eyes "orbs". GAH! Drives me up the wall! All I can imagine is people with eyes like Christmas tree ornaments! (Round and shiny, with no iris or pupil.)) and tried to ham it up as much as possible. At first I wanted people to think it was the real story but Shigure decided that he wanted to woo Tohru instead of Kyo so I let him have his wish fulfillment. 

Anyway, I'm really psyched for this story and can't wait to get more up. However, I like to leave some time for readers to review it. So the more reviews I get the sooner I feel a new chapter can be posted without the old one being ignored. If that makes any sense. So please do review.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

A special thanks to Anonymous Human for your reviews (_they_ are the real gems and I look forward to them with every chapter) and for keeping me on my toes with your critiques! One comment though: At first I was basing the pre- Book 6 events off the anime since I really didn't get into the manga until it had passed where the anime left off. But in the end I capitulated. Reading through the manga helps me keep interested in the story and there are so many interesting details that I missed! However, in spite of that the Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, etc that I here in my head are those of the English Anime dub and my descriptions are based off of them as well (ex. Tohru with blue eyes). My love affair with Fruits Basket began with the dubbed anime and I can't abandon it now, no matter what the connoisseurs say about Japanese being the only way to go ;)

A final note for readers: I sadly do not the details of know how a standard Japanese school year runs (hangs head in shame) and I couldn't find a single schedule even after combing the internet. I will endeavor to use what tidbits I gleaned from my research but aside from that their school year will resemble the US one that I am familiar with: exams followed by a summer vacation to mark the end of the year. This story takes place around the second-to-last week of their second year of high school (Japan has only three, so Kyo has time yet!).

Some people have expressed interest in where I find my translations. I get them at stoptazmo . com. You should check it out. Just don't get me in trouble for telling you >

Gah! Sorry for the long note (don't want to go over the chapter's length!). Please, enjoy!

* * *

"Hey, Yuki!" Uo waved beckoning 'The Prince' to walk alongside her and Saki to class, "What's up? Are you ready for exams?" 

"Uh, yes," Yuki replied a little surprised at Uo's enthusiasm so early in the morning. "I suppose. And you Miss Uotani, Miss Hanajima?" Uo nodded but Hana turned slowly towards him placing him under the full weight of her amethyst eyes.

"The exams are of little interest to me but the vacation that follows promises to be quite interesting…yes," she looked away and Yuki was surprised at his own relief. Of course her prediction could be completely mundane but anything coming from Miss Hanajima felt like just that… a prediction. "Yes…quite interesting. I feel some sort of change is on its way. For example, where are Tohru and orange-top?"

"Hey," Uo remarked, "that's a good point. Its not like Tohru to be late for school," her expression turned sly, "They're not further back _are_ they, Yuki?"

Yuki felt a flash of annoyance at the innuendo but was cut off before he could answer.

"No, that's not it," said Hana mysteriously, "I don't sense either of their electric signals _anywhere_ in the vicinity."

"Kyo and Miss Honda came down with a fever last night so they won't be coming today," said Yuki with an edge of frost and left it at that. "Don't worry, I'll be picking up their homework for them and I've promised Miss Honda I'd help her prepare for the exam."

"That's very kind of you," said Hana. Yuki went on ahead while Hana watched his back and Uo watched her.

"That family holds many secrets," Hana remarked, "The boy's electric signals are in a great deal of turmoil for something so small."

"Huh. Maybe he's just really worried about her. Wouldn't surprise me," replied Uo.

"I wonder…"

When the class had finally assembled and sat down, Yuki found himself in an unexpected predicament.

He had never really felt what others called 'the class that wouldn't end', though he had heard many complaints about them. _He_ had always enjoyed school, dating back to when it had been his only escape from the main house or his family. For a long time his above average grades had been simply because he had nothing better to do but study, and he had never fully understand what else there _was_ to do.

Whether or not he yet understood the concept of having fun after school was irrelevant. His fear for Miss Honda's safety was driving him over the edge. The usually dignified Prince was twitching like a four year old in time-out.

The class dragged on as if it was _purposefully_ mocking him and he was becoming quite certain that he had once seen the minute hand slip _backwards_. Never mind it was still early in the morning and he had hours to go, even without the student council meeting.

"At least Shigure is at home," he thought, unconsciously chewing on the end of his pencil, "Even injured he should be able to keep Miss Honda safe if anything goes wrong. As long as he doesn't act like an idiot."

Just then Yuki happened to look out the window and had to squint to be sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. But sure enough there was Shigure, bouncing up the path towards the school.

He heard a snap and realized that his pencil had broken.

In two places.

* * *

Nobody was sure exactly what happened but suddenly the Prince, usually the picture of calm and composure leaped to his feet, knocking over his desk and chair and dashed out the door before the eyes of the bewildered class and teacher. The surprise was so sudden and complete for a moment everyone just stared after him. It didn't even seem to occur to the teacher to call him back. 

"Hey, Yuki's outside!" one of the boys shouted and everyone crowded to the window only to be shunted aside by the resident Prince Yuki fan club girls.

"Is he _mugging_ that guy?" one girl cried.

"I-I think he is," a boy replied cautiously. Yuki had a larger, dark haired man by his shirt collar, pinned up against the school wall. Yuki's face was stained a faint pink with rage and he actually looked about ready to kill him.

"I guess they know each other…"

"Maybe they're…lovers?"

The older man was patting Yuki on the head. Whatever he was saying seem to calm the Prince since he finally put him down and turned away rubbing his head resignedly.

Suddenly the older man looked up and straight into the classroom.

"Oh, wow, he's hot!" the sound of swooning girls filled the room to be followed shrieks of disbelief as the older man grabbed Yuki into an embrace, rubbing his cheek in Yuki's hair crying what could be heard even two stories up, "Fear not, Yuki, all will be well!"

"They _are_ lovers!"

Yuki punched him in the face and stalked back into the building.

"…Or not."

"Must be a rocky relationship…"

* * *

The house was surprisingly quiet when Yuki returned from school after an additional hour of detention. He hadn't even been able to get much work done, what with a group of girls chanting outside the classroom something about, "Free the Prince." 

He hadn't been sure what to expect when he finally returned home but throughout the day he had could hardly focus for all the images of destruction that played through his head. After the nightmare of the day before, it was hard to imagine things settling into any sort of routine. Easier to imagine the house destroyed, or Tohru injured. Even gone. Of course, Shigure would have been of some help if the perverted dog had kept his hormones in check long enough to just call the school. But, considering the smell of the house (just entering it made him want to gag, the Cat's scent was so strong) perhaps Shigure had earned a respite. If only it wasn't at Tohru's expense.

He noted as he walked that Kyo had not been stupid enough to lie on top of the house during the day. A small blessing. Everything seemed quiet and normal.

In fact, nothing seemed different at all.

"Welcome back, Yuki!" Tohru had said cheerfully from the kitchen where she had begun making dinner.

"Where's Kyo? Has he done anything to you?" Yuki said. His eyes searched hers.

For a moment Tohru was taken aback by his intensity but she softened slightly as she realized he was more concerned for her safety than he was accusing Kyo of harming her.

"Oh, Kyo's up in his room," she said evasively. "It's been pretty quiet today what with Shigure gone too."

"Shigure's not back yet?" said Yuki.

"He hasn't been back since he went to the school. I hope he's home in time for dinner," Tohru said.

'I can't imagine why,' Yuki thought darkly. Tohru's cooking had somewhat nullified the smell of the grave, the constant reminder of the Cat's presence. If not for that he could almost imagine himself alone with Tohru. The thought calmed him and so, setting his books down on the small living room table, he began studying for exams, occasionally making notes for Tohru's study guide.

* * *

"So," Akito drawled, "Is she still there?" 

"Who?" Shigure replied blandly. On his way back from the high school he had taken a side trip to the main house. Of course, upon hearing he was there Akito had demanded his presence. For a woman who claimed to despise him, Akito did seem to enjoy his company. His lip twitched but was quickly masked under a façade of calm disinterest. Or perhaps she was just trying to keep him away from Ren.

"Don't sidestep the question, you know who I mean," Akito said with a hard edge of frost to her words. "That Honda bitch."

"And why would she have any reason to leave? We've been treating her well enough, and the boys seem quite taken with her," Shigure replied. Annoyance flashed across her face, the usual precursor to one of her infamous tantrums.

"You know perfectly well why she should be gone! Has she fled that monster yet?"

"She hasn't left us, but she does seem very concerned," Shigure said, suddenly puzzled. Things had taken a turn out of his hands. Why, after Akito's initial experiment with revealing Kyo's original form to Tohru, would she now expect different results? Especially something as dramatic as Tohru leaving the place that had become her home for over a year now.

"I hope she's afraid," Akito chuckled, "I wish I could be there when she realizes it. That she can't save him; that _no one_ can. Wouldn't it be delightful irony if _he_ was the one to deliver the final blow that drove her away completely?" Akito began to laugh harder, wrapping her arms around herself in childlike glee.

Shigure watched this spectacle, unsure of what to think. It was no surprise that Akito had some plot against Tohru who had increasingly become the target of her rage, blaming Tohru rather than herself for what she saw as betrayal by the other zodiac members.

But then how did Akito know so much?

The god of the zodiac paused in her dark laughter, as if pulled short. Her eyes were wide and suddenly bereft of the mad intensity that had possessed them only seconds ago. "You won't say anything, right Shigure?" she took a step toward him and Shigure quickly stood. She seemed so fragile, as she would collapse under her own weight. For a moment it was as if he could see the physical manifestation of the dark cloud that hung over the Sohma family, all wrapped around this tiny girl. The hurt and the betrayal, the fear and the madness. It wasn't Akito's fault alone, no more than anyone else was blameless. He himself had much to do with Akito unbalance, years of spoiling her till she lacked the strength to stand on her own, only to destroy her foundation with revenge for a mutual betrayal. It was only natural she would blame someone she hated, someone like Tohru, for the distance that had been there all along.

Rather than someone she loved.

"You won't…betray me?" she whispered. All the cunning and deceit seemed stripped away. But then, he knew her better than anyone; knew that she could easily hide her survivor's craftiness beneath a mask of helplessness. She would never do that before those who would see it as weakness, but against him, Kureno, or Hatori it was their weakness she exploited. Their love for her.

Taking her into his arms he held her as he had when she was a child, the same way he had held her when she became a young woman, and only an inch from how he would have held her as a man holds a woman. "Of course I won't," he said.

He felt her tense after a moment and knew it as a sign of dismissal. They stood, separated, and resumed their roles in the zodiac dance of betrayal, longing, and loss. With only a mocking bow of respect for the head of the house, Shigure went to the door.

"Oh, and Shigure," Akito called after him, her voice once again assuming the manly tenor with which she commanded the zodiacs and the rest of House Sohma, "I will know if you try. You will suffer for it, you and everyone in that house."

"I understand, my lord," Shigure replied. Akito's eyes narrowed with suspicion but the Dog had already gone.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading, please review! (I do love them so ) 


	6. Chapter 6

**_Beauty and the Beast_**

A/N: Why is this fic beginning to remind me more of Phantom of the Opera than Beauty and the Beast? (Sigh) Granted, they are rather similar.

This chapter is dedicated to Anonymous Human, for keeping me on the ball :)

This chapter was surprisingly difficult. I've had most of it done for awhile but I've been stressing over the increasingly short chapters and then stressing over the lack of updates. College homework also did wonders to sap my creativity so I apologize for the delay. I'm currently working on a Princess Tutu fic as well (an amazing series, btw, I highly recommend it, especially to anyone who loves Fruits Basket) so I'll try to budget my time between the two plus my Final Fantasy X fics.

Anyway, please enjoy!

* * *

The digital clock at his desk had passed midnight before Kyo ventured downstairs. The other three bedrooms were dark but for Shigure's room which was lit by the ghostly glow of the computer screen. Everyone was asleep by now, knowing Shigure he was dozing at his desk. 

The stairs creaked under his weight despite his attempts to remain silent. It was annoying; usually he could get around the house without making a sound if he wanted to. His body felt unwieldy, his arms too long and his fingers almost without sensation, more like claws really. He also had to duck to keep from hitting his head on the doorframe. The scariest part was he was getting used to it.

He had never spent so much time in the Cat's true form but he had found that as long as he concentrated on little things like making his body move right and keeping his voice normal, he could ignore the terrifying knowledge of his future.

The light had been left on in the dining room, which was odd since Tohru or Shigure usually turned them off when they went to bed. Kyo paused on his way to the kitchen to turn it off only to find Tohru slumped over a book. For a moment he was torn between waking her and fleeing before she could see him.

'Maybe I should take her up to bed,' he was certainly strong enough in this form but…. He looked down at his hands, no better than claws now and winced at the thought of them digging into Tohru's flesh. These weren't the hands you'd go near a girl with, let alone touch her. 'Not that that stopped you from hurting her that night,' he cringed; remember how these fingers had dug into her flesh and how she had gone white with pain and fear. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he began to close the door only to see Tohru look up blearily, straight at him. He forgave her flinch though it pierced him to the core.

"Oh, Kyo," Tohru exclaimed, glancing towards her books then back at him, "What time is it?"

"Passed midnight," he mumbled, trying to keep his face hidden behind the door.

"I must have fallen asleep. There's so much work to do, what with exams coming up," Kyo felt a flash of guilt, "Oh! You must be hungry. Here, I'll put together some left-overs, just a minute."

"No, wait, you don't have to- I mean, you shouldn't," but she was already up from the table and was pulling a bowl from the fridge. With a sigh of exasperation he grabbed the bowl from her hand. Or tried to. The bowl slid between his fingers and smashed to the floor, scattering rice and shards of glass.

Kyo stared at the mess and felt his face go hot with embarrassment, knowing that he could he would be blazing like a sunset.

"Here, I'll get that," Tohru said, moving to clean up the rice.

"No, I'll get it," said Kyo, "I dropped it in the first place."

Tohru began to protest until she saw the stubborn set to his shoulders and decided to let it pass. "Well we still have some other leftovers, how about…leek stew?"

"You have _got_ to be joking," Kyo said incredulously, shooting Tohru a look. She held it for a second but then began giggling helplessly.

"Sorry, sorry," she laughed. "Its actually beef stew. I'll just heat it up. It will only take a second." Kyo finished sweeping away the last shards of glass and rice while Tohru lit the stove and put the pot on.

For a while they stood in silence, listening to the slow simmer as the smell of the stew wafted upwards.

"Does it hurt?" Tohru said, barely above a whisper. "When you transform, does it hurt?"

"Yeah," Kyo replied but corrected himself at the stricken look on Tohru's face, "Not when I turn into a cat. That's just disorienting. But this form…" he said indicating his misshapen limbs. "It…twists me around. Everything feels wrong, like I can't quite control myself. I'm so much stronger like this, I'm afraid that I'm going to break something, or hurt someone. Sometimes it's like I'm afraid to move. I wish-," Kyo was cut off by a startled yelp from Tohru as the pot boiled over, sending the stew hissing into the flames. Within a few seconds Tohru had a bowl out and was ladling the steaming stew into it.

"Whew," Tohru sighed, wiping a hand across her forehead. "Almost lost it there," Kyo reached out and took the bowl carefully from the counter, cupping it between each claw. He was about to leave the room to sit at the table when he noticed the shocked look on Tohru's face.

"What?"

"Your…your hands." Tohru stuttered.

"What? It's not like I can't hold stuff if I'm careful," Kyo retorted.

"No! Its just- Kyo it's boiling hot!" she touched a finger to the glass and pulled it away as if scalded. He could see her flesh redden where it had come in contact with the surface. "Doesn't it hurt?"

Kyo looked down at the bowl, the claws that clasped it, and the boiling liquid in. His expression was unidentifiable, more so than usual. "I must not have felt it," was all he said as he left the room.

Kyo sat as best he could before the table, eventually abandoning the spoon completely in favor of drinking from the bowl like a cup. Tohru took a seat beside him and for a while they sat in silence as Kyo finished the stew.

'I hope he's ok,' Tohru thought, as Kyo set the empty bowl on the table. 'I hope he understands that we still love him, no matter what his form is.' _No matter what…_

Tohru rocked back with a gasp, Kyo's head shot up but she ignored him, trapped in her own realization. 'Am I being too suffocating! What if Kyo feels bad because we won't leave him alone! I sound just like his mom, maybe I'm reminding him of her, maybe that's why he's so depressed!' "I'm sorry! I'm sorry if I'm suffocating you! I'll go away now!" Tohru jumped to her feet, bowed, and then dashed for the door. Just as she got there it slid open and she skidded to a stop inches before running into Yuki.

"Huh? What's going on down here?" Yuki said, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Miss Honda, you're still awake?" he shot a glare at Kyo that obviously blamed the Cat for keeping Tohru up.

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just up late studying and I fell asleep here. It's not Kyo's fault," Tohru babbled. She still did not dare look back at Kyo

"Still, you should be in bed," said Yuki. Tohru looked ready to deny it when suddenly an enormous yawn split her face in to.

"Maybe you're right. Thank you for being so worried about me!" said Tohru, moving to walk past him

'Well I did have some selfish motives,' Yuki thought, 'It's hard to sleep with her shouting.'

"Goodnight Kyo, don't worry about the bowl, just put in the sink and I'll take care of it in the morning," with another yawn Tohru disappeared up the stairs. Yuki turned to follow her only to be stopped short.

"Hey," Kyo mumbled, one clawed hand entangled in Yuki's pajama sleeve.

"What?"

"Just listen to me for a sec…"

_I saw it; I saw how she ran away from me. I know you won. I know there's no hope that I can get her back, not like this. And I know…it's my own fault; for not being strong enough or smart enough. But…_

"If you hurt her I'll kill you," Kyo hissed. Yuki's eyes went wide for a moment but then he jerked his sleeve away, ignoring the tiny rips it tore in the fabric.

"You of all people should talk, stupid cat," Yuki said, and closed the door behind him.

But even he paused when no reply came from Kyo. Not a sound.

_I know._

_

* * *

_

A/N: As always, please please please review!


	7. Chapter 7

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

A/N: Yes, I know it has been a long wait. Fortunately, this is a somewhat longer chapter. Enjoy!

Oh, also: I'd really like to change the title of this fic but I don't want to lose readers. Any thoughts?

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

_Emphasis_

* * *

"Yuki, Shigure!" Tohru said, her eyes were wide and panicked; her breathing was harsh, "Kyo's gone!"

* * *

The creature crashed through the forest, its head tucked low, its massive arms throwing branches aside, leaving deep claw marks in the trees. 

It didn't think, not in words, just avoided places of danger. Humans were danger, its home was danger.

Friends were danger.

It ran for miles without tiring and deep within it marveled at its own strength and endurance. With this it could defeat its enemy.

'But why bother?' Kyo thought as the alien muscled twisted and shot him forward, 'What's left to live for anyway?'

* * *

Kyo had left no sign of his passage, no note, nor signs of disarray as one fleeing would. There was only a claw mark on the lintel and as Yuki ducked to investigate, a clawed footprint leading into the forest. Inside he could hear Tohru's tearful voice on the phone. 

"Hello, is this Kazuma Sohma? Yes, it's me. Something terrible has happened. Kyo's gone and he's in his other form," she paused and her eyes widened, "No one told you?" Tohru's voice became steadily more distressed as she explained the events of the past few days. "And now he's gone. Do you think it was my fault?" a pause, "I see. Yes, I understand. Please come quickly."

"We have to go look for him," Tohru spun to face Yuki, "He might be hurt, or in trouble. What if someone sees him?"

"I'll go with you," Yuki said but felt a hand close on his shoulder.

"That might not be the wisest decision, Yuki," Shigure said, turning the boy to face him, "After all, its more likely you fault than Tohru's that he's run off. May I speak to you for a moment?"

Yuki leveled a distrustful flare on the Dog's impassive visage but followed him into the next room while Tohru waited anxiously at the window for Kyo's adoptive father.

"What is it?" asked Yuki once the door had shut behind him.

"The Main House is coming," said Shigure, his hands hidden within his sleeves

"What?!"

"I received a call earlier today from Akito. They know that Kyo has fled. Since he can no longer control his true form there's no reason to pretend he can join normal society. His imprisonment has been moved to today, this evening actually."

Yuki eyes widened and he stood, stricken by the news. "Does Miss Honda know?" was all he could manage and the first thought that came to him.

"Not yet, but it's only a matter of time. Regardless, she and Kazuma have the best chance of finding him," the Dog said, without a flicker of emotion besides his usual amused disinterest.

Without a word Yuki turned towards the door, his face shadowed by his hair. "You disgust me," he whispered.

"And if you tell her, what will that accomplish? She'll find out soon enough from Kyo."

Yuki's hand slackened. For a moment they sat in silence. On the other side of the sliding door he heard the sound of footsteps and Kazuma's voice. "I came as fast as I could, and I think I broke a few laws in the process. Which way did he go?" their voices past by and then disappeared.

"I can't do anything, can I?" murmured Yuki. "To help Miss Honda or that damn Cat."

Staring at the door he did not notice the small ironic smile that stretched across the Dog's face.

* * *

_Earlier that day…_

Kyo had heard the sliding front door open and shut without announcement but took no notice of it. It was likely Shigure, who worked at home anyway, and after last night he was hardly in the mood for human contact.

He did not think to investigate until it was too late.

Never mind that his hearing was at least ten times more powerful in this form, never mind that the soft padding footfalls were far to light to be Shigure's, never mind that Tohru and Yuki wouldn't be home for hours. He didn't look up until the door slid open and absolute horror froze his heart and body.

"Hello, Kyo," Akito said and a smile sliced across his face like a knife.

Suddenly Kyo became painfully aware of his misshapen form. Ever inch of scales and grotesque muscle, every twisted limb; his skeletal neck and reptilian face, the way his violet eyes glowed in their sockets, every grisly inch lay out before him as if he was seeing it in a mirror. His own stench rose in his slit nostrils, the reek of rotten meat, old blood and desiccated earth. The stench of the grave, rich and cloying, suffocated the air around.

It was all there in the dark wells of Akito's eyes. The disgust, the whispers and that horrible knowledge that he was not one of them; he was _other_ and they wanted him dead. There was no mercy or forgiveness for this accident of birth, for the fact that he paid for sins that had been forgotten before he was born. He was a disease, a cancer and everyone hated him.

And as sure as that the beast, over two hundred pounds of bone and muscle, became prey to the weak and sickly being before him.

The God of the Zodiac.

"We're coming for you, Kyo," Akito said. "Your room has been prepared. Everything awaits you."

No longer boy or monster but a freakish mixture of the two. Kyo could not keep his voice from trembling, "Stay away from me."

The God chuckled like dead leaves brushing together, "Stay away from you? Is that not what _I_ should be saying?" he stepped forward and took Kyo's massive but unresisting paw in his hand without visible effort. Just as easily he placed the long, rocklike claw on his shoulder and swiped. The black turtle neck parted as if it were tissue paper, the flesh below tore just as easily and blood sprang up instantly along the trail the claws had left, staining Kyo's digits and Akito's paper-white skin. The dark chuckle continued. "Oh, now look what you've done."

"But, I didn't…"

"Yes you did!" Akito snarled, dark eyes wide rolling. "A _normal_ person would have stopped themselves, a _normal_ person would have resisted. You are a freak, a monster! You _wanted_ to hurt me!" Akito saw Kyo's flinch and pounced on it, "You deserve that room. You need to be locked up so you don't hurt anyone else. There is nothing but violence and darkness in your soul _and it shows_."

"No…" Kyo gasped, struggling to breathe, struggling to understand the dark blood that was trickling down his hand. "NO!" wrenching his arm free he turned to the only escape he could see, his animal mind telling him to flee this threat, this dark horrible presence that was feeding off his very soul but was right, so painfully right.

The glass exploded outward carrying with it a fleeting shadow that was gone in a flash, leaving the greater darkness looming behind it.

It smiled.

"We'll find you," Akito said casually as she left the room. Shigure said nothing, hardly batting an eye at all he had just seen.

* * *

_Present Time_

"Kyo? Kyo?!" it was like déjà vu, once again she was running through the forest, branches drawing lines of red across her pale flesh, dried out leaves and twigs snapping like tiny bones underneath. Once again she was chasing an elusive shape in the distance, though she knew not where or how far away was the destination.

But this time it was Kazuma Sohma she followed, his gray hair cropped short, occasionally glancing back over his shoulder to make sure she didn't fall to far behind

"How do you know he's gone this way?" Tohru panted nervously.,

"Simple, Kyo has left easy tracks for us to follow," Kazuma said, pointing out broken branches and ruffled leaves that he appeared to be following. To Tohru it looked the same as any other part of the forest.

"Where could he be going?" Tohru said, half aloud. They had since passed the clearing where she had found Kyo last time. She was beginning to gather a true appreciation for the Sohma fortune and influence as they had easily gone two miles without any signs of civilization.

"I doubt even he knows," said Kazuma.

And like a bolt from the blue she saw it! The trail! Four deep gashes tore a tree nearly in half. "Kazuma!" she shouted excitedly.

"I saw it Tohru," Kazuma said, "I think we may be close."

As if summoned a scream ripped through the forest as if it tore each tree it passed. Tohru's pressed her hands against her ears and almost lost track of Kazuma as he darted in the direction it had come from.

"Kyo?!" Tohru cried, following the Cat's adoptive father. The trail had become so clear even she could make it out, torn brush, clawed toe marks and ripped up saplings dotted the way. In the distance she could see the gray form of Kazuma, standing tall and shadow-like over a large form curled up on the forest floor. "Kyo!" she gratefully stumbled to Kazuma's side only to be stopped short.

There was no human in Kyo's eyes. Only terror and something darker churned in those violet depths. He lay huddled on the ground, arms wrapped around his half-clothed form.

"What did he do to you!?" Tohru tore her gaze away from Kyo's hunched form and staring eyes. Kazuma's face was frozen in rage and each word emerged as a whisper of horror dragged from his throat. "What did Akito do to you!?"

"Kazuma?" Tohru tried to say but all that emerged was a whimper. Kyo's eyes had focused on the two of them but he seemed unaware of their identity. Kazuma on other hand was physically shaking; his hands shuddered as if to form themselves into fists. "Akito," she managed to whisper, and then louder, "A-Akito hasn't done anything! W-we have to help Kyo!" falling to her knees she went to put her arm around Kyo and felt her stomach lurch as the stench of the grave exploded in her nostrils, as if the fresh air around them only made it stronger. Bile rose and rather than embracing him as she had planned she fell backwards, catching herself on one arm while the other rose to block her nose and mouth.

One baleful eye locked on her and she could not stop the writhing horror that ran up her skin. Shaking herself she forced it down and, righting herself, reached out a hand to the beast- no, to her _friend_. Her pale fingers had barely touched his scaly flesh when it recoiled at the sound of his voice.

"Have you come to take me back?" Kyo rasped, his voice deep and dark to match the scent of the grave that roiled from it. "Don't bother, just got away."

Pulling herself together she tried again, placing a gentle hand on his arm, "Kyo, I understand that you're frightened but—"

"No, you don't understand," Kyo suddenly roared. Tohru felt herself get thrown backwards as Kyo pulled himself away from her. Suddenly she realized that he was angry, enraged. How could she have missed it? It was like a living thing pulling free of its chains. Wild and untamed. It was hard to imagine the boy she knew under the reptilian snout and slit pupil eyes. For the first time since she had first seen the original form, Tohru was well and truly terrified of Kyo. Every nerve was screaming at her to run, she could feel the hair on the back of her neck standing on end and her heart thundered as if it were trying to come out of her chest. But this time her instinct was not to run to him, it was to run away.

"Kyo," she whispered, but it was like calling for someone who was not there. And who wouldn't come. With a rush of fear she suddenly realized…she missed Kyo! The creature in front of her wasn't him! It wouldn't comfort her or chastise her for her clumsiness. Even its eyes were alien, glowing violet eyes completely unlike the war autumn of the Kyo she knew and-

"Kyo, stop it!" Kazuma shouted, stepping between her and his son. Kyo's gaze refocused on the martial artist and Tohru took the moment to step shakily to her feet.

"_You!_ You took the beads away last time! And why? Because you wanted to see if I could be _redeemed_, as if letting her see me like this would make it all _better_. You wanted me to accept myself for who I am. But I'm not a monster! This isn't me, this is a curse! You don't know what its like to be trapped in this body or you never would have done that to me! You don't know what its like to feel, _lurking_ underneath your skin, a monster you can't control, that isn't a part of you at all. And that smell, the smell of rotting decay, I can feel it! I can feel myself _rotting_ inside this form because of its evil. Evil I had nothing to do with! How-how can you know what its like to be blamed for something that scares you more than it can possibly scare anyone else? How can you…how could you?" Kyo released a tortured moan and sank to his knees, his claws pressed to his face. "It's not my fault…I'm not a monster… I-I'm human, just like everyone else," looking between his misshapen fingers at Tohru, wide eyed, the blood drained from her face leaving her corpse-like. 'She looks so frightened,' "I'm not a monster." Eyes never meant to shed human tears closed then opened but remained dry.

'If they leave me now,' a small, dark part of his mind whispered sadly, 'when Akito comes for me… I won't fight.'

He closed his eyes and let his head hang towards the ground, not wanting to see them go, not wanting to watch them flee.

Only to feel a set of arms wrap around him, then another.

"I'm sorry," Tohru looked up, her face damp with tears, "I'm sorry, I didn't know…that it hurt you so much. All I could think of was how scared I was of you, Kyo, of how frightening you are like this. I was being so…selfish. I want to help you, Kyo, even if I am scared I want to break the curse because…because," _'You are my special person'_, "I don't want to see you in so much pain."

"I too am sorry, Kyo," said Kazuma, "For everything."

Kyo finally looked up and met Tohru's eyes. He forgave her flinch; deep down her forgave her for choosing Yuki as well, what else could he do?

_He loved her_.

"Tohru," he said as gently as the demonic form would allow. But he choked on what he had meant to say, "Don't let them lock me away."

Tohru nodded, determination filled her eyes. "Right."

* * *

A/N: Gah, this was a difficult chapter to write! I'm not sure when the next one will appear but readers can rekindle my enthusiasm for this fic by reviewing! 

Also, I'd really like to get a beta reader who's enthusiastic about Fruits Basket and can point out grammatical and canon errors. Any takers?


	8. Chapter 8

To Be Human

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

A/N: Once again I have taken forever getting this chapter to you. It might have taken even longer had I not checked the hit count on this story. Guys, its 6700 as of today. All I can say is….WTF?!?! I've never had a story so popular; the next closest hit count is 2000 for a story that's six years old. I'm too flattered for words but seeing that made me realize that maybe I should give the public what they want.

Anyway, I've looked through To Be Human and this story needs some editing, to put it lightly. However, I think I'll concentrate on finishing it first. There's about 2-3 chapters left and after that this fic is getting an overhaul. So now, without further ado I give you the newly renamed To Be Human: Chapter 8!

* * *

The sliding door hissed open, "Where is everyone?" Tohru whispered 

There was the sound of padded feet and a shadow of clicking claws on the ground as the three entered the dojo. The late afternoon sun slanted in through the windows and cast a tired glow about the empty room.

"I dismissed everyone for the day before I left. Kyo will be safe here for a time, until we can determine a more permanent course of action," said Kazuma. Kyo looked about the room warily, as if not fully believing his adopted father's reassurance. The dojo was large and spacious and for the first time since his transformation Kyo was not afraid that he would tear apart a room simply by moving.

"Did you hear that, Kyo, now we can relax!" Tohru said brightly but there was a quiver in her voice that hinted at her own lack self-assurance. He tried to offer a return smile but the only effect was a flash of teeth and a disconcerting glint in his reptilian eyes.

"Kyo, your room has remained the same, Miss Honda can take my bed and I will sleep on the couch. You have both had a very trying day so I want you to rest and recover your strength while I go make us some dinner," Kazuma's house was attached to the dojo and opening a screen he took them down a hallway that lead to a sitting room. Kyo glanced back longingly at the much larger room of the dojo and awkwardly placed himself on the floor before the couch. Tohru also seemed nervous and when she sat down she folded her hands in her lap as if to keep from touching anything. Kazuma disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two in awkward silence. They hadn't said much to each other since Kyo's outburst in the woods, they had been too focused on getting to a place of safety. The opportunity for explanation, apology, and reconciliation spread before them more like a gap than a bridge and occasionally one would glance furtively at the other before looking away.

"I wonder what he's making in there," Tohru said then blushed. They were terrified and running for their lives with no clear direction in sight and she was asking about food! But Kyo perked up and the question seemed to, temporarily, relieve the brooding atmosphere.

"Keh, damned if I know. Hopefully nothing more complicated than ramen or else I should just call the fire department now," Tohru giggled, "Seriously, I'm not joking. The man could burn water. I don't even get how someone so good at fighting and discipline and stuff can't even make a bowl of rice. It's pathetic. How he eats without me here is a mystery," he glanced down at his hands, "Not that I'd be much use with these things. Nothing 'cept cutting vegetables and taking stuff out of the oven without mitts," Tohru panicked, realizing that he was about to start brooding again and began babbling the first thing that came to mind.

"Don't be silly! There's plenty of things you can do in the kitchen! You could, um, poke holes in the pie crust, and tenderize the meat, and knead the bread! And you wouldn't need a fork to flip food on the grill… even though doing it without washing your hands is a little unsanitary…" suddenly she realized that Kyo was doing something she hadn't heard in weeks… he was laughing. She blushed and stammered, "Did I say something funny?"

Kyo caught himself and ducked away, "…nah, just stupid, as usual. Whoever heard of flipping burgers with your fingers? I'd probably tear the whole grill in half."

Tohru looked at him sadly, realizing that he really did believe what he said. Pushing herself off the couch she set herself down on her knees in front of him. "Kyo," she said. He glanced at her and she struck painfully by how much he had changed. Sure there was the physical difference. It was hard to equate the handsome orange haired boy from her class with this vaguely humanoid creature wearing the tatters of his clothes. But the more dramatic difference was the change in attitude. Sure Kyo brooded, over classes and grades, over beating Yuki and when Kazuma would let him go back to the dojo. There were times when she suspected he was brooding over the death of his mother because of the sad, far-away look in his eyes. But he had always had confidence, and hope. Even if he didn't beat Yuki today, he knew he would beat him the next day because he was Kyo and if he worked hard enough at martial arts someday he _would_ be better than Yuki, who hardly practiced at all. There was no problem that could not be solved by hard work, even recognition but the Main House would come if he worked hard and made himself better and better until they _had_ to admit that he was just as good as Yuki. Yet that confidence was gone and with it his defenses. He seemed to be constantly riding an emotional rollercoaster, one minute quietly brooding the next raging against the world, and then curled up in fear as he remembered that it had been weeks since his transformation and he still had not reverted, even for a moment.

Did he know…? She placed her hands on his and he quivered like a struck violin string before visibly controlling himself. Then, gently, she lifted his unresisting hand against her cheek. Though the claw could easily crush her head for the first time she was not afraid of him or the original form, because it was all just Kyo. And she knew that he would never hurt her. For a moment he simply stared at her as she held his hand, unafraid of the razor-sharp claws and unperturbed by the smell of the grave that clung to it. His eyes widened.

"I have to go," he said, jerking his hand away, "Master might burn the kitchen down if I don't keep an eye on him," he added, and fled, leaving Tohru startled and alone.

* * *

The dinner was edible thanks to Kyo arriving in the kitchen in time to prevent a complete disaster, and it passed in complete silence. Kazuma chocked it up to exhaustion, oblivious to Tohru's searching looks in Kyo's direction and Kyo's studious avoidance of them. After cleaning up, Kyo muttered goodnight and disappeared to his room. He found it even more suffocating than the sitting room. Had it been this small when he had last slept here? Then again, than had been over a year ago and the original form did little in the way of creating living space, unless it was knocking down walls. He lay down on the futon, not even bothering with blankets, and stared up at the ceiling. The room was uncomfortably hot, made more unbearably so by his memories of Tohru holding his hand. Even if it was just a misshapen claw her touch had been like lightning and he had found himself frozen, afraid to move in case he hurt her. Then the full force of her fearlessness hit him. Not even his mother had touched him like that when he was in the original form. And Tohru had, she had let him touch her _face_ and she hadn't been disgusted, or afraid… but rather than be mad at her for putting her face near something as sharp as his claws he had been terrified, absolutely terrified to his very core that she would stop and jerk away, realizing that she had made some mistake and that touching him was too loathsome to ever go through again. 

So he had pulled away first, so she would not. But he could still feel her touch burning into his flesh.

After staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, Kyo game a disgusted sighed, climbed to his feet and stepped out of the room. He needed some fresh air to clear his thoughts. It was only when he had gone out the front door and taken his first deep, calming breath that he realized he was not alone.

"Get him," came a familiar dry voice. Something tangled in Kyo's claws, dragging them against his body then pulled him to the ground. Flailing wildly he realized he couldn't move, cords dug into his flesh and suddenly he was being dragged across ground, his flesh scraping against the asphalt.

"Put him in the van and be sure the ropes are tight. We don't want to unleash a monster on the hapless townsfolk," came the mocking voice of Akito. Kyo tossed his head and saw a brief flash of the Head of the Sohma Clan, standing a short distance away, the darkness making him seem a malevolent shadow blacker than the surrounding night. With a grunt the figures that surrounded Kyo lifted him and tossed him into the cramped trunk. Kyo realized he had only a second to cry out but the ropes bound his mouth closed and all he could do was groan, praying that Kazuma would be awake at this late hour. The doors closed and he was plunged into darkness, the roar of the motor his only companion as he was driven far from those he loved.

* * *

Night fell on Shigure's house and with it a pall of silence. Yuki stared dully at the door. He had quit pacing an hour ago and he had became steadily more listless as the night wore on. 

It was not until the early hours of the morning that the door slid open and Shigure walked softly, almost tentatively, into Yuki's vision. "Still waiting?" asked Shigure.

Yuki didn't respond but continued to stare into the distance as if Shigure wasn't there. The Dog moved to leave the room.

"They're not coming back, are they?" Yuki croaked. Shigure paused by the door. "In the end, she chose him."

* * *

Please review! I'll try to get the next chapter up as quickly as time will allow.

And, just for fun, in honor of the completion of the Harry Potter series I wanted to ask everyone: If the Fruits Baskets characters attended Hogwarts, what Houses would they be in?

My vote: Shigure- Slytherin, Yuki - Ravenclaw, Tohru - Gryffindor (because she is the most fearless person in the series, imo) , Kyo - Hufflepuff (because he works so hard to beat Yuki), Akito - Slytherin, Hatori - Ravenclaw, Ayame - Slytherin (uh, duh, snake?), Hatsuharu - Hufflepuff (again, works hard to prove himself), Kisa - Gryffindor (overcame her fears), Hiro - Slytherin, Ritsu - Hufflepuff, Uo - Gryffindor, Hana - Ravenclaw, and Kagura - Hufflepuff (to follow Kyo and because she worked so hard to get him for all those years) . Any that I missed its because I'm not entirely sure where to place them. What are your thoughts?


	9. Chapter 9

To Be Human

A/N: This chapter's a bit longer than the last one but also much more polished. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Kyo contorted against the ropes binding his arms and legs but they held tight and his only reward was the raw marks they dug into his flesh. Beneath him the engine rumbled and he could dimly make out conversation between the two servants in the front. He could not hear Akito, likely the Head of the Sohmas was riding in a separate car.

Kyo knew he should be terrified, knew he should be trying to find a way to break out before they reached the Sohma complex, which could only be few minutes away, but he was paralyzed. How had Akito known where they were? Yet as soon as the thought crossed his mind he felt it melt away in the light of the obvious. Where else would they have gone? They had no choice but to flee and no one to take them in except Kazuma. His father would have turned them over as soon as they walked in the door, as would any other person connected to the Sohma's, though perhaps with more reluctance.

Against all odds he felt a chuckle escape his throat as a twisted, poisonous sense of lightness filled his being. There would be no help from anyone. What could they do? What could Kazuma or Tohru, or even _Yuki_ do to help him? Call the police? Tell them there was a boy being imprisoned at the Sohma complex? And what would they find there but a monster locked in a room. Even if he escaped there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He was trapped, forever.

Safe.

His mind recoiled from the thought but it remained. Safe; in a cell where he could no hurt anyone with his claws, or his strength or his stench; where no one could hurt him with their glances and their revulsion, their whispers and mutterings, their outright fear. The thought led him onward down its inevitable track. If he remained in this form, if he _couldn't _change back… the Cat's House would be the best place for him. Even from what Master had let slip about his grandfather he knew it would not be terrible (_only a prison…_) he would be allowed books, and videos, though he would never be allowed company, or visitors.

Or would he? He had never thought of it before. Kazuma's father must have been conceived somehow! Perhaps his grandfather had been allowed a wife or (he blushed at the thought) a girlfriend.

For a moment the thought buoyed his heart. His future was not empty; there was someone in it, a shadowy figure with long brown hair and kind eyes.

The van hit a bump, smashing Kyo against the trunk door. His head snapped back and his vision swam. He became aware of his long arms, his twisted spine and his clawed hands. The figure vanished like a puff of smoke. There was no wife in his future, no companion on the weary road to his death. These hands were never meant to hold someone, they could only bring pain. It was just him and the spirit of the Cat until the end of his days. And then the Cat would be born into another, and the cycle would begin again.

The van lurched to a stop. The doors slammed and Kyo could hear voices coming towards the back. He gave a half-hearted tug against the net the enshrouded him but the ropes held.

"Master Akito was right, a monster…"

"Ugh, that stench. Hurry up and get him inside the room."

The servants pulled Kyo's limp form from the trunk and he tumbled unresisting to the gravel. They dragged him into the small house, cut his bonds, and fled. The door shut and there was the sound of many locks sliding home. Then there was only silence, and darkness.

* * *

Akito frowned as she examined the mental bond linking her with Kyo. She envisaged it as a thick chord bound to an orb that fluttered and shivered like a heart. Eleven more branched out from the core (she keenly felt the loss of Kureno, his thread absent from those who were bound to her, the god of the Zodiac) but not even the Horse's was as dark as the Cat's.

The orb of Kyo's emotions had lightened on two occasions, one a day after the initial transformation, the other the evening before the servants tracked Kyo down to Kazuma's house. But not long ago while Kyo was trussed up within the van there was one last flicker followed by darkness so deep it frightened her. It was no longer necessary to channel negative emotions down the line; Kyo's despair was completely self-sustained. Akito felt she should be overjoyed by this development, or at least satisfied. But instead she felt disquiet. Had she gone too far in her gambit to remove Tohru from the Sohmas? Contemplating Kyo's orb, Akito realized that this would not do.

No, this would not do at all.

* * *

The morning dawned and the air was already hot and oppressive, promising unbearable temperatures as sun crawled upwards across the sky. Yuki lay sprawled on the couch, all dignity forgotten. Whether or not he had slept was a mystery to him, his dreaming thoughts were no different than his waking ones. His mind ran in circles around the empty house, Kyo's transformation, and Tohru's absence.

Tohru…

He had long suspected that his relationship with Tohru wasn't the kind between a man and a woman. Her kind eyes and soft words didn't create a fire in his heart, just a warm glow which suffused his entire being, making him feel safe and secure. At first he might have mistaken it for romantic love, until he realized no matter how much he thought about her it was never as a girlfriend or lover. If anything she was…a mother to him. He blushed at the thought. Tohru was the same age as him with more responsibilities and tragedies in her life than any girl deserved. She didn't need his insecurities as well. But it hardly mattered now, she was gone and he had to face the inevitable. The girl who had become his friend and mother was gone.

Now he had to grow up, he had to put his rivalry with the Cat behind him. Yuki pursed his lips and turned his gaze to the ceiling. He just didn't know if he was strong enough to let go of so much hatred and enmity.

The phone rang and he heard Shigure shouting for him to pick it up, but he was too lost in thought to move.

"Fine, I'll get it," grumbled Shigure, plucking the phone from the hook. "Good morning, Shigure Sohma speaking," Shigure said into the phone with his characteristic cheerfulness. As he listened the grin fell from his face. He took the receiver from his ear holding it in front of him as if unsure what to do with it, before replacing it "I see. Yes, you can bring her back… Are you sure you're alright? Yes, I understand, silly question. I'm truly sorry," he hung up the phone and with slow steps took a seat next Yuki on the couch. "Tohru will be back soon. They took Kyo during the night. He's in the Cat's House now."

Yuki's eyes widened as a sensation like the bottom dropping out of his stomach shot him upright. He stared at Shigure, "What?"

"It seems the Main House has decided that Kyo is too dangerous to allow free," said Shigure. "I thought you would be pleased," Yuki's face became stricken, "You knew this day would come, I thought you'd be happy to have Kyo out of your life," Shigure continued. "Locked away."

"No," said Yuki, "no, not like this," a black room danced before his vision, solitude without light, without companionship except for that mad laughter. Every hand turned against him, without even his own brother to turn to… his own brother…

"I guess it doesn't matter now," Shigure said, placing his chin in his hand, "whether or not Kyo beats you. Even if he did, there's no way Akito would allow him to be free of that room, not the way he is now."

"What are you talking about?" Yuki hissed, Shigure glanced at him but the shadow in his eyes belied his lazy attitude.

"Oh, didn't you know? Akito promised Kyo that he wouldn't be locked away if he could beat you in a fight. It hardly matters now," said Shigure, "Still, it will take some getting used to, not having him around," Shigure got to his feet, leaving Yuki staring at the floor. With one last glance at the silver haired teenager Shigure wandered back to his office. _Akito, what are you planning?_ he wondered, _And how can I turn this to my advantage?_

* * *

Tohru stared out the window of Kazuma's car, wondering whether she should say something, but unable to find the words. That morning they had woken up to find Kyo gone without any sign of struggle, as if he had simply walked out the door. Then they found the note:

_For the safety of the Family, the creature has been removed to its prison at Sohma House. No visitors will be permitted._

_By order of:_

_Lord Akito, Head of House Sohma_

She winced at the memory of Kazuma's reaction. He spun and slammed his fist into the door with a resounding _crack_, spraying splinters everywhere. When he withdrew his hand there was a deep crater surrounded by a spiderweb of fissures. But the unexpected display of strength was not as terrifying as the awful look in his eyes.

"_That spoiled brat took my son," he grated, "and I wasn't there to stop him."_

_"Kazuma…" said Tohru._

"_We're going," he cut her off. He began to walk towards the car._

"_I'm sorry Miss Honda, for letting you see me like this," he said as they both sat down, "I'll take you back to Shigure's now."_

"_Wait, but what about Kyo?" Tohru cried. "We have to do something!"But he did not answer.._

The only sound the whole trip had been Kazuma calling Shigure to let him know they were coming. Tohru looked out the window in despairing silence. As they rounded the corner that would take them to Shigure's driveway she felt desperation creeping up inside her until she was ready to scream.

"Kazuma," the gray haired man did not take his eyes off the road but a change in his demeanor let Tohru know he was listening. "I know you're angry…and you probably feel helpless because you couldn't stop them from taking Kyo…" she paused and took a deep breath, "It must be hard, as a father, to not be able to protect your child," she felt a sob choking off her breath, "But you are not alone. You're not the only one who cares about Kyo. I want to help him. No, _I need_ to help him! Because if I don't, who will?" Kazuma looked at her and for the first time since Kyo's disappearance he really saw her, not just a girl, another charge who needed to be protected from the Sohma family; but a young woman. And one that was in love, though she might not realize it. What he saw in her determined gaze left him humbled.

He shifted the car into gear and within a few minutes had it turned around, heading towards the Sohma complex. "We both will."

* * *

As the sun rose, Kyo got his first glimpse of the only room he would see for the rest of his life.

It was bare, like a prison cell. There was a closet, some shelves, a small table with two chairs and a futon. The washroom contained a full bath, the house's only luxury but there was no kitchen. Meals were delivered through a small flap in the door, which had no knob or latch but had plenty of locks on the outside. There was one window with thick bars like teeth.

He sat on the futon with his legs curled up but even then he could feel the room pushing down on his large, gangly form.

He glanced up at a rattling from the door as his breakfast was pushed through the flap. There was the sound of hurried steps as the servant fled.

Kyo lumbered towards the small tray. All the food was laid out in broad, plain bowls but there were no chopsticks to be found. As he reached down to pick up the rice bowl he realized why. The bowl fit comfortably in the palm of his paw, much more easily than any of the plates or bowls at Shigure's or his fa- or at his Master's. Shame burnt him to the core at the thought that the servants knew the original form so well, that they were _prepared_ for him to lose control of himself like this. He ate the food mechanically and returned to the bed. He itched to do something, by this hour he had usually finished his morning katas but the room was too small for him to move this body in. it had only been a few hours and he could already feel boredom creeping up on him. He had to do something or he would go crazy. Folding his legs he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He had never been very good at meditating, Master had pointed out that his lack of center might be the reason he could not progress further in martial arts. But now, here in this prison, there really was nothing else to do. He took a deep breath and then another, like Master had told him to and tried to allow himself to merge seamlessly into the silence and stillness around him.

* * *

Thank you for reading, please review! 


	10. Chapter 10

To Be Human

Author Note: Sorry for the wait, I finished the chapter and then realized all but the ending sucked, so I had to rewrite a huge portion of it. This version is better but man, am I looking forward to the overhaul this story is getting once it's finished. Anyway, this chapter is longer than some of the others so please enjoy!

Edit 10/19/07: For some reason fanfiction(dot) net hates me and has decided to mess with the format for this chapter. Most of it has been fixed but please don't hesitate to let me know if you notice any errors (spelling, grammar, or format) that I should be aware of and that detract from your reading experience.

* * *

Kyo started with simple breathing exercises, listening to the unfamiliar _whuff_ of his breathing as it coursed through his body, through his slit nostrils to his skeletal chest and out his snout with its jagged teeth. He concentrated on the feel of every inch of his body, his long arms, his near-senseless clawed fingers, his twisted spine and his reptilian skull with its long, antenna-like ears. 

_This is me. This is how I'm __gonna__ be for the rest of my life._ For once, he did not feel like screaming at the thought. He was tired of screaming and raging, he wanted peace. He forced himself to face all the things that made him afraid, that hurt him so deeply that it was like twisting a knife into his heart. He faced them, acknowledged them, and then let them go.

Tohru. Thinking of her almost broke his control. Her smell, her voice, her touch…

…the fear in her eyes, the scars on her shoulder where he had clawed her, her flight the night they had eaten stew together, how she had almost kissed Yuki on the first day of his transformation.

Kyo snarled. He wanted to smash Yuki's pretty, human _face_ with his fist, break every bone in his body, and use his claws to tear the flesh from his bones. He didn't just want the Rat dead, he wanted him smashed to a _pulp_.

He shuddered. He could taste the salty blood in his mouth, smell its sickly sweet stench, see…

… the horror in Tohru's eyes.

Bile rose in his throat.

Control.

He forced himself back to calm, forced himself to see the situation rationally. It was strange after so many days of anger and fear.

Yuki had won. _Calm down__. C__ontrol your __anger_. Yuki had won and there was nothing he could do about it. Even if he beat himself against the walls until he bled, screamed himself hoarse, practiced katas, meditated, and built his strength every day none of it would matter. Yuki had won, and now Kyo was trapped in the Cat's House. Even if he did escape, even if he did return to Shigure's and lived the way he had for the past week, hiding up in his room until starvation sent him in search of food, more like an animal than a man, he wouldn't be doing anyone any favors. He knew this form was terrifying, that the stench was overwhelming.

_I have nowhere else to go_.

Suddenly his mind was clear and his muscles relaxed. He had nowhere else to go, and that was ok. He was alone, and that was ok too. He had hit rock bottom, there was nothing else to be afraid of; the worst had happened and the best never would.

When the food was slipped through the door at noon, he made no move to retrieve it.

* * *

It was late in the evening and the last shreds of natural light had disappeared from the window. Long ago a servant had come in to light the lamps, the only form of artificial light that Akito would have in the audience chamber. However, the day's business was not yet complete. As Head of the House Akito's responsibilities were not limited to comings and goings of the Zodiac, who after all only made up a small fraction of the Sohma Clan. There were financial matters to discuss, boons to dispense or withhold, and all the other supposedly trivial details that required the attention of the central authority to keep the House running. And at the back of her mind, there was the Cat, now imprisoned in his house, his emotions growing darker, and the pulse of his life force growing less urgent. Yet before that matter could be attended to… 

"… and so, my Lord, I humbly request the finances to send my son to law school," Shizuru Sohma, a cousin of Yuki's mother knelt before him, holding a bound notebook of her son's test scores and transcripts. Akito considered the matter; the boy's grades were quite high and thus he would be able to attend a prestigious university. Weighing the financial risk against the aid that would be gained by having another lawyer in the family, Akito reached her decision.

"Permission granted. Your son will receive the funds, provided he maintains his grades and provided that, upon graduation, he spends five years working closely with the Sohma attorneys," Akito said. In the corner, Kureno recorded the motion.

"My humble thanks for your generosity, Lord Akito," Shizuru bowed her head to the floor, yet as she rose to leave the door slid open, revealing a kneeling servant.

"Lord Akito, Kazuma Sohma and Tohru Honda have been spotted entering Sohma House," he said. Only Kureno saw the sudden gleam in Akito's eyes. "What is your will?"

"Don't stop them. I would like to greet my guests in person," said Akito, "Postpone all other appointments until the morning. Kureno, return to your room."

The former Rooster nodded and left, along with the servant leaving Akito alone in the audience chamber.

* * *

The guard motioned Kazuma and Tohru inside the complex with hardly a second glance. Now instead of only feeling the soul-sucking fear of the prospect of failure, Tohru also felt confused and bewildered. 

"Why didn't he try to stop us?" she whispered, fighting to keep her quavering voice hushed. Her palms were clammy despite the warm night air. Standing in front of that guard she had thought she was going to scream, thought he must be able to see her intentions written all over her face but he had made no move to capture them.

Kazuma kept his gaze fixed straight ahead, "I'm not sure. Perhaps nobody knows Kyo is here, or if they do they don't believe anyone would try to free him," he said the last with a touch of bitterness. He gestured for Tohru to follow him.

Lights glowed in the windows of the houses and Tohru was struck by the sheer number of residences within the complex. No more than a dozen could be Zodiac members but she saw as they walked down the path to the center court, home of the Head of the House and families of his favorites, that there were easily over a hundred individual homes. The complex really was its own microcosm, she realized, completely separate from the outside world.

_Their family must be very old_, she realized, _maybe even ancient_. _How else could they have so many people living in one place, all of them __Sohmas?_

The buildings of the central court were all beautifully ornate, more like mansions than houses yet as they walked further in the buildings lost their decorations and grew simpler until against the back wall there was only one house, more like a shed, surrounded by a high fence.

Kazuma stopped at the gate. "We're here."

"I can see that. Now the question is what you are doing here. Was my note not clear enough?" Akito stepped out of the shadows. He was wearing his traditional silken robes and though the oversized garments made him look small and pale in the moonlight, the darkness added to his aura of menace. She felt Kazuma tense at her side. "The creature will not be having any visitors."

"You have overstepped your bounds, Akito," said Kazuma; his voice was like iron, hard and cold, "Give me back my son."

Akito stepped between them and the gate, "I think not."

In one swift motion, Kazuma seized Akito's collar and forced him up against the fence. Akito's eyes widened but his smile remained poisonous.

"Now what, Kazuma?" he said, his voice soft and probing. There was a pause. Tension crackled between the two then, with visible effort, the martial arts master loosened his grasp.

Akito regarded Kazuma with his unreadable gaze. Then he stepped to the side. Kazuma spared him a glance before walking in and Tohru followed behind.

The building was rundown and had only a single window beside the door. Had she not known better, Tohru would have taken it for a shed. There was no sound from within.

Kazuma stepped forward towards the window and called in, "Kyo, can you hear me? I'm going to let you out now. We're going home." Akito grimaced but made no move to stop the older man. Tohru hovered back, not wanting to get in Kazuma's way. Her heart was racing in her chest from the sudden surge of adrenaline. They were going to do it; they were going to free Kyo, and not even Akito was going to stop them!

Kazuma reached into his robe and removed a roll of lock-picks. Selecting a thin rod with a crooked end, he held up the first lock for inspection when Kyo's voice came from within the darkness of the Cat's House, "Don't bother."

Kazuma's hand froze, Akito's head snapped up and all three of them stared in disbelief.

* * *

"What?" Kyo heard Kazuma say. He kept his eyes shut and his back turned to the window. 

"I said don't bother. I'm not going anywhere. Leave me alone."

"Kyo…I don't understand," said Kazuma. Kyo heard his Master's voice tremble and it hit him like one of Yuki's sucker punches. "What have you done to him?" Master was no longer speaking to him but to someone outside. "Dammit, _what have you done_?"

"Kyo, please," his heart wrenched as he heard Tohru, she sounded as if she was about to cry, "Come home with us."

He felt anger rise up but it was steady and controlled. This had to sound real or they would come back, and he wasn't sure he would be able to bear it, "You too? What the hell are you doing here?" he heard her breath catch, "What makes you think I want to go back to Shigure's?"

_Don't let them lock me away._

"Kyo, I-" she whispered.

"What were you gonna do? Walk in here, open the door and save me?" he heard his voice quaver. No! Control. If he could not control his emotions then he was only giving in to weakness. "I wanted to come here."

"W-what?" said Tohru.

"I said I wanted to come here!" he snarled with the full force of his alien vocal chords, "They didn't kidnap me and I didn't fight them. I _told_ the Main House to come get me, you stupid girl!"

"No…no I don't believe that!" Tohru cried.

"Why?"

"Because the Kyo I knew would never run away!"

Kyo's head shot around to stare at Tohru in disbelief. She had her hands wrapped around the bars that divided the image of her tear-stained face; her skin was pale as death in the moonlight. "Are you serious?" he said and gave a bitter laugh, "I've been running my entire life. Even when I was training in the mountains I was running …" no, he wasn't ready to admit that reason to her yet. He took a breath, he couldn't let emotions blind him; he had to direct them. "I don't want to do it anymore."

"And now you are frozen," said Kazuma. He sounded sad and grave, like it had been on the night when he had first taken Kyo's beads. "Trapped within your fear, unwilling to even contemplate the possibility of hope. You've given up."

Kyo gritted his teeth, "Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about, you never have. There's no cure, there's no way for me to change back. I'm tired of pretending like it's gonna be any different. I'm not meant to live with normal people."

"That's not true--!" said Tohru.

"Isn't it?" said Akito. Kyo started, he had not realized that the God of the Sohmas had been there all along. "You want him to live out there with you, looking like this? Here he is protected from a world that would hate him. Can you offer that to him?"

"Nonetheless, this has to stop, Akito," said Kazuma. "You can't lock up another human being. The monstrous imprisonment of the Cat has to end."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," came Akito's smiling voice. "The only monster I see is inside that room. But if you would have him free…" keys jangled, the locks clicked, and the door slid open. "I'm not stopping him. The monster is imprisoned for his own good."

"Stop calling him that," Kazuma said, his voice flat and threatening. Kyo heard footsteps and felt a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Kyo, let's go home."

Kyo pulled away, "Weren't you listening? I told you, I'm not goin' anywhere."

"Kyo…" Tohru's soft voice came from close behind him but he kept his eyes fixed on the opposite wall. He did not know how much longer he could keep this up.

_I don't need you this time. __I'm not gonna__ run if you stop holding me._

"Enough of this," said Akito. His voice was firm but held all the softness and guile with which he had terrorized the Zodiac for so many years. "Kyo has made it clear that he has no wish to be free. Can't you see you're only disturbing him now?"

"This is not over, Akito," said Kazuma, "I will be back."

"Of course you will," replied Akito, "You never did have any regard for the rules of this House."

"Kyo, please," he shivered as Tohru placed one of her soft hands on his back, "I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave you alone in this place."

"Just go," he said. He knew there was only one thing he could do to ensure she would leave him, to ensure that she would go on with her life and be happy, no matter how much it hurt him "I don't want to stay together anymore," he spoke slowly and forcefully, "I don't want to eat together, or study together, or worry together. I don't want to tell you what's on my mind and I don't to face the world with you. _I don't want to see you at all_."

Tohru gasped and Kyo felt as if his heart was being torn from his chest.

_Don't back down__, you coward__. This is the only way._

"Do you mean that?" she quavered.

"Yes," he said without hesitation. Her hand fell to her side. "I can't stand to be around you anymore. It's too painful."

It was the only truthful sentence he had spoken, and it was the one that drove her weeping out the door. He heard his Master speaking to her outside the door and the receding sound of their footsteps. He settled back down into his meditative stance, relaxing his body and willing his mind to repress the storm of emotions that were tearing him apart.

"I didn't expect that of you, Kyo," said Akito. Kyo swiveled, he had forgotten that Akito was still there.

"Shut up. I said I wanted to be alone," Kyo growled.

"Do not order me around," Akito's voice was low and dangerous and it ripped through Kyo's carefully constructed defenses like a bullet. He heard Akito's soft steps enter the house and flinched as the God began to walk in slow, measured steps around him.

"You've always been alone, Kyo," Akito said. "By fighting your destiny you became more and more alone. Going away with Kazuma, living with Shigure, consorting with that Honda girl only served to isolate you; with them you could never be yourself, you were always forced to hide your _true_ form," Kyo stared straight ahead, his eyes wide and unseeing. "This is your home. Here you can be safe, here I will take care of you," he leaned in to place his hand on Kyo's head but he jerked away and curled further in on himself. "You don't believe me? It's true, I like you. I like you so much that I promise I will visit you every day. I am the only one who will care for you and tend to you. And all I ask in return," He crouched down in front of Kyo and gazed deep into his eyes, "is your love."

Kyo's eyes widened and refocused on the crouched Head of the House, unable to believe what he had just heard. "Sometimes I'm lonely too, Kyo. Every day I feel the Zodiac struggling against me, trying to free themselves from the family that has nurtured and protected them their entire lives. My precious Yuki's only desire is to get as far away from here as possible, he only lacks the courage. It is comforting to know, that out of all of them, only you struggled to come back into the fold. Such dedication will not go unrewarded," Kyo eyed Akito with suspicion, "if you be good, I will consider allowing you to become a full member of the Zodiac." Akito climbed to his feet, "Think on this. All I require from you is your loyalty and your love. You can prove those to me by avoiding that Honda girl and by not trying to escape. In return, you will become a true member of this family."

Akito left, closing the door and the locks behind him. Kyo barely heard any of this over the roaring of his thoughts.

* * *

Author Note: Please review :) 


	11. Chapter 11

To Be Human

Author Note: Once again, the wait is long and I am dissatisfied with the chapter. School is in session, so updates will be sporadic, but don't lose hope! I have already written the next chapter's rough draft, but I want to get a little bit ahead before I start posting in earnest.

If you notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, please don't hesitate to point them out. Furthermore, if you have a little time on your hands, open the review box before you start reading and jot down any parts you particularly like or dislike. Most importantly, please enjoy!

* * *

"Miss Honda, don't take what Kyo said too seriously. He's in a great deal of pain right now…" Tohru could barely hear Kazuma's voice over the rushing sound in her ears. All around her the world was fading except for one phrase.

_**I don't want to see you at all!**_

Kazuma continued to speak, his voice low and comforting. He was being so kind to her and she tried to mumble some memorized pleasantry, tried to smile, tried to show some sign that she appreciated his effort, but it was fine…it was …it …

"Tohru? What's wrong? You've gone pale."

_Just say it, tell him you're sorry, sorry for causing his son so much pain… tell him…_

_**I can't stand to be around you anymore**_**.**

_Tell him…_

_**It's too painful.**_

"Kazuma…"

"Yes, Miss Honda?"

"I'm sorry…"

_Tell him…_

"There's no need to apologize, Miss Honda. It's not your fault that we could not free Kyo this time; there will be a next time…"

_Tell him…_

"No."

A pause. On the other side of the fence, Akito's low, poisonous voice was a soft background murmur. She could not hear Kyo; it was as if he did not exist, as if he had disappeared into a void.

"I don't want to see Kyo again, either."

She broke her wrist free of his now slack grasp, and turned before she could see his expression. Then, breaking into a run, she disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Tohru wandered the compound for what felt like an hour, too numb to feel where the steady motion of her legs was taking her, unable to see through the blur across her vision. The maze of buildings morphed into one another as her path took her in senseless circles.

_A girl trudged through the heavy rain, her breath misting in front of her. The frigid mud soaked through her thin sock but she forced herself forward. She too could not feel the motion of her limbs through the numbness, nor see where she was going through the downpour. She followed the broken branches, the deep footprints already filling with water, the stench in the air. _

Tohru remembered that girl, the girl who had fought the storm to save a boy from himself.

She was coming to a pool of light that spread across one of the many courtyards of the Sohma complex. Around her, the houses stretched upwards into the shadow of the evening, their eaves disappearing into the night sky. She stopped at the edge the glow, just another formless silhouette against other half-hidden shapes.

One toe edged towards the pool of light.

_The girl came to a clearing. There was a dull orange smudge against the gray of rain and trees. Her heart at leaped as she realized the truth, as she realized how afraid she was, how fear turned her veins to ice and how her shivers had little to do with the cold. Yet she realized too how, at the center of it all, she is warm, as if her heart was glowing with sunlight. She does not name the feeling on this night; but it will remain with her, like a tiny fluttering light, every time she sees him. _

Tohru clenched the clothing of her shirt where it fell over her heart. Where once there had been that warm light, there was only numbness and cold.

_He roared at her, screaming insults and threats. The sun in her heart had flickered with the searing pain of his claws gashing her shoulder open, and she had turned to flee._

Tohru did not realize that she had fallen until the sharp gravel dug into her knees. Staring down at her hands, she saw that her fingertips brushed the pool of light but did not enter it. The hand 

that had grasped her heart moved higher to the long jagged scars that was now only as faint white lines against her skin. The stretched from shoulder to collarbone and would probably never fade.

_The girl hesitated at the edge of the clearing. It was as if she could hear a voice crying out. _

_She looked back…_

"Tohru?" a voice snapped Tohru from her reverie. She looked up and saw two blond figures standing in the light. She blinked to clear her vision just as a small shape came hurtling towards her and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

"Kisa?" said Tohru and looking passed the encircling arms saw the other figure more clearly. "Hiro?"

Hiro gave her a sardonic look as if to say, _what?_ But as she held his gaze, he flushed and turned away.

"Tohru, what are you doing out here on the ground?" Kisa said, helping Tohru to her feet.

Tohru felt the answer rise in her mind but she could not bring it to her lips. She stared blankly up at Kisa, her features not so much contained as incapable of portraying the maelstrom within her, as if all her emotions had raged into a storm that had gone curiously white. Empty.

Kisa hesitated. She knew this expression; it was the same one that had greeted her in the mirror for all those silent months of torment. After all, she, better than any of the Sohmas, understood silence.

"Come inside," she said gently and guided Tohru to her feet as if she were a puppet. Tohru rose, blinking as if she was emerging from a stupor and followed Kisa into the pool of light and up the steps to the door. Hiro gave a huff of exasperation and strode after there was a faint grimace on his face that belied his calm façade.

_She looked back…_

_But this time she kept running. _

* * *

Kyo continued to stare out the door where Akito had disappeared; his eyes were blank and unseeing.

_If you be good, I will consider allowing you to become a full member of the Zodiac…_

Only a year ago he would have given anything to hear those words. Even now he could feel his mouth go dry and his heartbeat speed up at the thought. The temptation was palpable. After all, 

he had already chased Tohru away (pain lanced through his heart but he ignored it, his face only contorting briefly) what other meaning could Akito have?

And yet…

A year ago he had not been trapped in the original form.

As far as Kyo knew, there was nothing that Akito could do to even if he did keep his promise. What good was it becoming one of the Zodiac if he was trapped? No, at best he would be a member in name only.

His breath caught as scenarios played through his head. What if, once accepted, Akito showed his current form to the others Zodiac members? He unconsciously slipped his bulk further back into the shadows at the thought as images of Kagura, Akito, Shigure, and Yuki when they had seen this form flashed through his head. Of the Zodiac, they were the closest to him and even they had been unable to keep the disgust from their faces. The images began to dance in his head. Hatsuharu, his blank features only thinly veiling a rare look of shock, Momiji's ever-present smile morphing into open-mouthed horror, Ritsu's panic, Kisa's terror… he quashed the images with a grunt that sounded more like a snarl.

No, the offer was obviously a lie. What he could not understand was why, why would Akito offer him a place as a member of the family after so long? Was this just a new kind of torture? But why? Why would Akito come see him, the despised Cat, after he had been safely locked up? Why not just leave him to rot?

He turned the question over in his mind, unable to understand what Akito hoped to gain from offering him something he could not have, in exchange for something he had already given up. Pure sadism was always a possibility, and one he had not completely discounted. Aside from the simple glee of watching him suffer to attain a position in the family, what else could Akito want?

What did Akito hope to gain? He wracked his brain. Akito could have simply banned Tohru from the Sohma Complex. It was within his right, and though others like Momiji may grumble, they would never challenge their God's decision outright.

What if, by sending Tohru away, he had played right into Akito's hands? What if Tohru was not the object at all? Would Kazuma be taken away next?

Perhaps it was torture, Kyo realized. Akito was stripping away anyone who would care to see him here, a paltry two. What if the reason wasn't malice at all but…protection? He thought of the honeyed voice proclaiming its unconditional love for the Zodiac members.

What if…

It was too horrible to contemplate. He banished the thought and closed his eyes, his exhausted mind clawing towards sleep.

* * *

Akito closed the gate behind her and began the walk back to the central manor. The first thing she would do when she got back was take a scalding hot bath and remove any trace of the monster's tough upon her body. Then she would plan her next move.

By all rights, her encounter with Tohru and Kyo should be considered a victory in the grand scheme. Kyo had rejected Tohru, and while Kazuma had threatened to return for a new renewed effort at freeing Kyo, he would not attempt another breakout any time soon.

Yet perhaps the greatest victory is that none of them had noticed how close she had come to defeat.

That one desperate gamble could have gone horribly awry. Had she guessed wrong, had Kyo been faking when he told his rescuers to leave him, waiting for Akito to open the gate only to escape, he would have destroyed her carefully laid plans instantly. But she had guessed right, or perhaps known that Kyo was not capable of deception. She had won the moment the door opened and Kyo had not bounded out to retrieve his stolen freedom.

But it had all been too close for comfort.

"Master Akito, you have returned," one of the servants bowed and opened the door for her and she past by him with hardly a glance.

"Have a bath drawn and bring me information on the Honda girl. Where is she now? Has she contacted any of the Sohmas?"

"It will be done, my lord," the servant bowed again and exited, leaving Akito alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Kazuma wandered the complex but it was as if Tohru had become one with the shadows. He could not find her anywhere, and he was uneasy about leaving Kyo with Akito for any length of time. He had seen the Head of the Sohma clan work his poison on its members, undermining their confidence and then destroying them until they dared not move without his permission. Though he was not a zodiac he had seen many times the strange power Akito had and went cold at the thought of his heavy-handed intimidation techniques being used on one that was in as delicate a mental state as Kyo.

_Two teenagers, both in a great deal of pain_, he thought, hesitating before he turned the corner to where Kisa's house was.

But one was his son.

He would call Shigure and tell him to come collect Miss Honda. He would not leave his son alone in the dark.

* * *

Author Note: As always, I enjoy your reviews a great deal and they serve as incentive to continue this story. Please leave one!


	12. Chapter 12

**To Be Human**

Author Note: I know, it has been yet another unforgivably long stretch between chapters. However, that type of thing has come to an end. Most of the remaining chapters are complete and will be released weekly to give everyone a chance to review, hint hint. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with the story so far; it's been a long road. So without further ado please enjoy the latest chapter of To Be Human!

* * *

It wasn't until she noticed Kisa's lips moving that she realized she was being questioned. Even then, it was a struggle to link the words to sentences in her mind. Her gaze wandered past Kisa's honey blonde hair to Hiro's downcast face. The boy was slouched against the wall, one bare foot pressed up against the plaster. His bangs fell over a face as if he was trying to look disinterested, but his eyes glittered beneath his pale hair, and the tenseness that corded his body was too unnatural for true nonchalance. Her eyes wandered around the room. The walls were a cheerful yellow and through the door she could see the entrance to the kitchen. It was not her first time at Kisa's home, but never before had the cozy house seemed so…mocking. She shook her head slowly and tried to focus on what Kisa was saying.

"…Is something wrong?" was all she caught and her automatic response to such a question forced her features into a smile.

"I'm fine, Kisa, how are you?" Tohru replied. At least, it was what she meant to say. Forcing her lips upward was like trying to bend steel. She felt them twitch slightly, but she could no more form a smile than she could force her thoughts from their scattered circling of the same phrase: _I don't want to see you at all!_

Her breath shuddered in her throat and she realized with horrified shame that her eyes were burning with welling tears.

"Fine, I'm fine!" her own panicked voice rang out, breaking mid-sentence.

"Of course, because people who are fine collapse on the ground all the time," said Hiro sarcastically.

"No, no I swear! I was just visiting and I got lost and…" her eyes were wide and she flailed her hands in front of her as if she could physically brush away their concern. Yet her voice was weak and strained, and when she closed her eyes in a fake smile the tears that had hung precariously on her lashes trickled down her face.

"Sissy, why aren't you telling the truth?" Kisa said gently. A shudder ran through Tohru's body. She bit her lip hard and turned away. "What happened?"

"Kyo…" she buried her face in her hands, then whispered, "I want to go home."

"I'll call Shigure," said Hiro, standing up from his slouch.

"No!" Tohru said. Hiro paused mid step and stared at her. "Not there. I- I don't want to go back there." She felt fresh tears welling, constricting her breath but the words kept coming, "I don't want to go back there ever again." She knew the words were true the moment she said them. Kisa gasped.

"Sissy…" said Kisa, and Tohru felt as if her heart was being constricted in a vice. But she couldn't go back to Shigure's. Not now.

_I don't want to see you at all. _

Not ever again.

* * *

Kyo's contorted spine was pressed against the corner of the small room that had become his home, and his cage. His bony knees were pulled up to his chest and his unnaturally long neck hung over his bent legs. His violet eyes were partially lidded as he stared dully as the light from the window brightened from evening black to morning gray. The heat had broken; he could smell it in the air even if he could not feel the temperature on his scaled skin. Though the high window he could see that oppressive clouds hung low over the landscape, a blank slate that covered the sky from horizon to horizon. The impending rain was a physical weight dragging his body to the ground. His breath came in long, slow gasps that rhythmically expanded and emptied his skeletal chest. Yesterday's meals lay untouched by the flap in the door.

He couldn't think in this weather, the only blessing of the dismal conditions. Even the multiple snapshots that haunted his mind, Tohru's face white with horror and pain, courtesy of his first transformation, Yuki leaning in to capture her lips as they sat on his bed, his own reflection in the mirror…even these could not penetrate the suffocating lethargy that dragged at his mind and body. They became only distant flashes, tiny stabs to the heart that were easily ignored.

He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to sleep. Perhaps an hour past as he drifted in and out of consciousness, when the sound of movement, nearly masked by the patter of the rain, jerked him from his reverie.

His thoughts immediately sprang to Tohru, her face had floated in and out of his dreams, sometimes smiling, sometimes expressionless and accusing but there were no footfalls, as if whatever was making the sound had been waiting just outside the entire night, waiting for him to awake.

"Kyo," whispered his fa-… Kazuma as he came under the eaves of the Cat's House, rain dripping from his gray hair.

"What?" mumbled Kyo, his voice surly and flat. He winced at the trace of animal growl that he could not completely erase in this form.

Kazuma remained silent for a moment, gauging Kyo's mood. Finally he spoke, "Are you alright?"

Kyo remembered the soft touch, the words of poison mixed with honey as Akito had offered him a place as a member of the Zodiac in exchange for Tohru.

"Sure," he answered curtly.

Kazuma's lips thinned as he regarded Kyo with obvious disbelief. "I'm going to get you out of here, Kyo. I promise you,"

"Don't bother. Just go back to the dojo, tell them I ran away or something."

"Kyo…you're my _son_, not just a student or a ward. I will never abandon you, even if you beg," a ghost of a smile flitted across his lips and Kyo felt one quirk at his mouth as well and almost gave in to it. Then an image flashed through his mind, the wide toothy snarl that was his true appearance.

"Thanks…Dad," said Kyo even has he withdrew further into the shadows. He tried not to imagine Kazuma and this form together, tried to remember Kazuma from the time when he could touch him with human hands, laugh with a human voice. How long had it been since he had been happy? The word and all it entailed now seemed foreign to him; it was something that happened to other people. Only humans could be happy.

* * *

Akito awoke as something rippled across the bond she shared with Kyo. Perhaps for a moment there had been a flicker of something, something that could not be described as brightness but only of a paler shadow across Kyo's heart. She tensed, her brow furrowed in concentration. This brightness had not been present when she had offered him a position in the Zodiac. What was the meaning behind this?

She knew her goal was almost within reach. In truth, Kyo had completed his task by convincing the Honda girl that he never wanted to see her again. True, the girl had taken refuge at the Tiger's house but subtle pressure exerted on Kisa's mother, or on Hiro would soon see her gone from there. Safely behind bars and convinced of the danger he posed to the outside world, Kyo would not call her back any time soon.

Akito placed her fingers to her lips pensively. Now came the next step. In truth, she was content leaving Kyo trapped within the original form, if it made him biddable and reduced the chances of Tohru returning. But even that flicker of light across the bond had only served to illuminate how deep the darkness was. How much of Kyo's despair had originated from Akito, and how much had bloomed after the fact, was indistinguishable except that the darkness continued to grow even after Akito stopped feeding it.

Had she gone too far?

* * *

Tohru leaned against the window of the car, too exhausted to dwell on the embarrassing luxury of having a chauffer to drive her. Outside the rain had begun to fall, a gentle summer shower that held in it the echoes of distant thunderstorms.

'Kyo must hate this,' she thought. No tears rose this time at the thought of him, there were none left to spill. Her face felt puffy and hot, her face and hands raw and her throat scratchy. All she wanted to do was sleep, but despite how tired she was it eluded her. Instead she watched the streets go by, eerily still in the dim pre-dawn light.

The city had given way to twisting suburbs, rows of simple houses that all resembled one another. So different from the Sohma Complex, or Shigure's house. It was the real world, the normal one where people didn't turn into animals and where boys weren't transformed into monsters.

Cinderella can't be a princess at the ball forever. Someday she has to go home and work in the kitchen. And there was nothing wrong with the kitchen, her mind supplied. They were safe, and they stayed the same from day to day. There was nothing unpredictable or scary about a kitchen.

She tried to imagine her mother's face, hear her voice. What would she say in this situation? Her mother had believed in hard work, she would understand leaving the fairyland once the dream had ended.

_Whatever you do, Tohru, never give up…_

No, she didn't want to hear this.

_I ran away from what mattered, and I always regretted it. Never run away from what matters most to you…_

"He doesn't want me there anymore, Mom," Tohru whispered. "What else am I supposed to do?"

_People don't always know what they want. Sometimes it takes time for them to realize what they need._ She had said that and glanced fondly at Katsuya's shrine. _Sometimes they need time, but sometimes they also need someone to give them their hand. _

"But I don't know what to do," Tohru's voice cracked, "I don't know how to help him. And he doesn't want my help anyway."

"Miss?" said the driver, glancing back at her in the rearview mirror.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I was just talking to myself," said Tohru sitting up straight in her seat.

"No worries. I just thought I'd let you know that we'll be arriving soon. I'll drop you off in front of the house and be back with your bags later today."

"Thank you, thank you very much! You really don't have to do that, I'm sure I can get them myself later."

"I wouldn't be doing my job if I let you do that. Mr. Sohma was very clear you were to have no trouble making the move."

"Oh. Well, thank you then. Its very kind of you," said Tohru. She could see the house ahead, the kitchen light was on. Had they been told she would be arriving?

"Here we are. Let me get the door," said the driver. Tohru murmured her thanks as the door opened with a click. The driver held out an open umbrella for her and escorted her to the awning over the front door before returning to the car.

Tohru raised her hand to knock as the car revved behind her. The headlights flashed, outlining her silhouette against the door as she hesitated, her fingers hover an inch above the wood.

"I'm doing the right thing, aren't I, Mom?" she said. There was no answer but the sound of the rain quickening its tempo against the pavement. She rapped gently against the door. It opened, flooding the stoop with light.

"Tohru, its good to see you again. Come in." Tohru took a deep breath and stepped inside.

She forced a smile onto her face and when she spoke her tone was cheerful and hardly wavered at all. "Hello, Grandpa."

* * *

Reviews are what its all about, so please be kind to a lowly fan fiction writer and submit a little of the fuel that keeps them going.


	13. Chapter 13

**To Be Human**

Author Note: I meant to post this on Monday, but I decided that I'd rather update weekly on Friday instead, when everyone has more free time (to review, hint hint). True to my word, here is the next chapter of To Be Human. Enjoy!

* * *

Yuki jumped up from his desk at the sound of the door sliding open, flipping his book shut and nearly running to the door. At the sight of Shigure he stopped and craned his head to see beyond around him. "Where is she?" Yuki said.

Shigure stared at him then shut the door behind him with a sigh. After a moment, he looked up with his characteristic smile, "Tohru's going to be spending some time with her family."

"What? Why? What happened to Kyo?"

"I can't say for sure. Word is that they fought and Tohru went back to her grandfathers while Kyo stays at Sohma House."

"Does everyone know about…?"

"No, Hatori has kept his confidentiality. The only people who know besides him should be me, you, Tohru, Kazuma, and Akito," Shigure ticked the names off on his fingers, "And I doubt it will spread beyond there, unless someone actually sees him."

"Akito must have done something to her," insisted Yuki.

"You know, just because no one else knows about Kyo's transformation doesn't mean the story isn't true. They've both been under a lot of stress lately, its not unheard of for couples to fight."

Yuki let the couples comment pass, "Then how long until she comes back?"

"Umm, well see that's the thing. She isn't. The Main House will be sending someone in a little while to pick up her things." Yuki gaped, "Whoever they send will probably need some help organizing everything. Would you mind helping them out?"

"Tohru is leaving and you're acting as if nothing is wrong?"

"Didn't you once say that where Tohru chooses to live is her own decision?" said Shigure.

"Yes," said Yuki. "But this isn't right. This is Tohru's home; she wouldn't just leave because of a fight. I can't imagine her fighting at all. Akito—"

"Had nothing to do with it," Shigure interrupted. "As far as we know, there is no reason to believe otherwise."

"Then who told you that she wanted to leave?" Yuki retorted, "One of the servants?"

"Kisa, actually," said Shigure. "Tohru was at her house when she announced that she wanted to return to her grandfather's. And before you ask there was no one else there except Hiro, and he confirmed Kisa's story."

"But there has to be something more. Why would she leave us?"

"A woman's heart can be a mysterious thing. For now it's probably best that we don't interfere with her life too much. She doesn't belong to us, even if she is the best housekeeper we've ever had," Shigure said, losing some of his seriousness. He glanced back at Yuki and seeing his expression said in a sing-song voice, "Sometimes its not all about you, Yuki."

"I never said it was," he said hotly.

"Hmmm, yes," said Shigure, "Now, are you going to help organize Tohru's belongings or am I going to have to be the one who gets to go through her underwear drawer?"

"Yes! I mean, no! I'll call Hana and Uo and have them do it," said Yuki, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks.

"Aaw, I never get to have any fun," said Shigure.

"Pervert," said Yuki as he stalked away.

* * *

Tohru rushed down the stairs as the doorbell rang and opened the door, expecting to see the chauffeur from the morning. What she wasn't expecting to see were Uo and Hana each holding a large suitcase of her things.

"Uo, Hana! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" said Tohru. The two exchanged a look.

"Tohru, school's been out for a week. You missed exams," said Uo. The blood drained from Tohru's face. "Its ok, Mayu knows you and Kyo had the flu. But what's this about the two of you fighting? Are we going to have to beat him up?"

"Uo," said Hana, bumping the blonde with her elbow. Tohru realized with a start that her eyes were welling again and swallowed hard to calm herself. 'Shigure must have told them,' she thought.

"Nevermind," said Hana. "Where's your room? Yuki had us come over to keep Shigure from going through your stuff."

"A chauffeur brought us here. Very classy," said Hana.

"Yeah, but we'll just take the bus back," said Uo as they lugged the suitcases inside. Tohru tried to take them but, once rebuffed, instead hovered around them as they made their way to the room she was once again sharing with her cousin. Ever since Yuki had confronted them over a year ago her family had been polite in their own way, which generally meant ignoring her. Her cousin didn't even look up as they dropped off the bags then went to the living room to sit.

At first they talked about school, especially the exams which, Tohru realized guiltily, she had forgotten entirely. She was lucky that the ordeal had fallen into summer vacation, but she was going to have to start studying again with a vengeance. Though without Yuki to tutor her she wasn't sure how well she would do.

"Don't worry, Yuki gave us a book of notes to give to you," said Uo. "He said if you studied those you should be fine."

"How is he?" said Tohru with some trepidation. "Did it look like he was eating alright?"

"I couldn't say about that," said Uo, "He wasn't his usual calm self. I think whatever happened must have upset him. Hey," said Uo, putting a hand on Tohru's shoulder, "he'll be fine. He and Shigure will be able to survive on their own. But right now you have to do what's best for you. And if that's living at your grandfather's, then that's fine."

"Thanks, Uo," said Tohru.

"But if you ever want to talk about what happened let us know," added Hana.

"Yeah, we weren't there for you once, we're never going to let that happen again," said Uo.

"I…" Tohru hesitated. She wanted to ask them what she should do. How do you help someone who doesn't want to see you? What happens when you have nothing more to give? The words hung on the edge of her lips.

But that would be burdening them. And what was more, explaining any of what had happened during the past weeks might be giving away too much. She was already living away from the Sohmas, if she let any of their secrets slip then they might decide to erase her memory forever. "I…hope Yuki will feel better soon."

Uo eyed her for a moment but didn't say anything. It was Hana who spoke, after glancing to one of the clocks on the wall, "I told my parents I would be back to help with dinner. Shall we go, Arisa?"

"Yeah, sure. Is there anything else we can help you with, Tohru?"

"No, I'll be fine. I have to unpack now anyway, thank you for stopping by," said Tohru as she walked them to the door. Hana and Uo waved and disappeared around the corner. For a moment Tohru remained on the landing, one hand on the door. After a moment she shook herself and closed it. She turned and almost jumped at the sight of her cousin leaning against the wall.

"Are those your friends?" she said. Tohru nodded mutely. Her cousin paused as if considering this, then shrugged, "They seem nice."

"Yes, I have very good friends," said Tohru softly, then wandered into their shared bedroom to begin unpacking.

* * *

Kyo didn't even bother to look up as the servant arrived with a fresh plate of food and removed the still-full plates that had been left there at lunch. He had hardly moved at all since he had convinced Kazuma to go home and rest. Instead he sat crouched with his back to the door, watching the shadows as they stretched across the floor. The storm had cleared earlier in the day, but the lethargy had stayed.

He didn't bother to think anymore. Instead he let his mind drift. At first it had taken him down all the wrong paths, to Tohru, to his father, to Yuki. He had then tried to stay focused on the physical, the way the tiny muscles and bones moved, the rush of blood through his veins. But those thoughts only brought him back to the original form, and how the foreign shape was beginning to feel as normal as his human body. If he allowed himself to, he would admit that he was beginning to have trouble remembering what his old body had felt like. His cat form was by now an even dimmer memory.

So now he simply drifted, ignoring the food that was brought to him as it came and went, just existing. When Kazuma came to see him later that night he made small talk, told him he was fine, asked if he could bring books because he wanted his father to think he was occupying himself.

The days came…and went.

And Kyo remained a monster.

* * *

"Tohru left Shigure's house?" exclaimed Kagura

"Yeah, way to be slow on the uptake," said Hiro, taking another bite of his cereal. "She's been gone for almost a week."

"But why?" said Kagura.

"She and Kyo had a fight," said Hiro. He began to play with his milk, wishing he could change the subject.

Kagura gasped, "What? Oh no, my sweet Kyo! He must be hurting right now. I need to go to Shigure's!"

Hiro shifted uneasily, remembering that night. Tohru's blank eyes, Kisa's tears when she announced that she would be leaving the Sohma's. The past weeks had been the happiest of his life, spending time with Kisa without needing to look over his shoulder. But every day the uneasiness had grown inside of him. What would happen to Kyo? Akito had been right, whatever happened had scared Tohru away, maybe for good. He tried to tell himself that he didn't mind this, but Kisa had begun to wilt over the past few days, obviously thinking about Tohru.

"You'll just be wasting your time. He's not there," he said, cutting Kagura's tirade short.

"Huh? Why not?"

Hiro cursed himself inwardly. The Hell this woman was going to raise… "Because he's here at the Main House."

Kagura jumped to her feet, knocking her chair to the ground. "Where? Who's house is he staying at? I know! It must be Haru's, I'll go right there."

"Hey, pick that up! This isn't your house. And he's not at Haru's!" he called after her but she had disappeared.

Hiro bent to pick up the chair, placing it carefully upright. His hands gripped the smooth wood, the same hands that had snatched the bracelet from Kyo's wrist, and replaced it with Akito's fake in one smooth motion. A thief's hands.

With a sigh he shook himself out of the revery and began cleaning up the remains of breakfast. But he could not help but wonder if Kagura would find Kyo, wherever he was.

* * *

Kyo awoke from his stupor at the sound of voices outside the house. One was female and had risen to a shriek while the other voice remained low, pleading. He struggled to focus through the haze and felt a flicker of recognition. One of the voices was the servant, the one who brought him meals. That meant it was breakfast, he thought, squinting at the light that came through the bars in the window. He must have missed dinner. Come to think of it, he had missed lunch before then. How many days had it been?

The other voice tickled at his memory until with a groan he realized who it was. Kagura. No need to fear her seeing him like this, it would not be the first time. And with Shigure and Hatori both aware of his transformation, it was likely that everyone in Sohma House had heard the news by now. He had taken his solitude as a blessing, as well as an indication that the others had no desire to see him in this state. It appeared that he had been wrong.

"…And do you call that food? My poor Kyo must be starving if you're feeding him that…"

He leaned his head back against the wall and braced himself for the storm. Couldn't that woman leave him alone even when he was imprisoned?

"Miss Kagura, you can't go in there, Lord Akito…"

More squabbling.

"Go away, Kagura," he said. The arguing ceased.

"Kyo? Is that you?" said Kagura in a tremulous voice.

"Of course its me," he said tiredly, "Who else would it be?"

"Kyo, what's going on? Why are you locked in here? Is it true that you and Tohru had a fight?"

"The door's not locked," he said and instantly regretted it as it swung open and Kagura's shadow stretched across the floor beside him.

"Kyo? Where are you? Its so dark in here," said Kagura, taking a step inside.

"Miss Kagura!" cried the servant and with a sigh Kagura slammed the door shut behind her. Kyo lay beside the door and was unsurprised when she turned and shrieked at the sight of him.

"W-what's going on? Kyo, why are you…?"

"Didn't anyone tell you?" he said, summoning some irritation to his voice.

"What? No! No one knew this was happening to you. Why have you…? What happened to your beads?"

His laugh was breathless from exhaustion and weakness, like the sound of falling leaves. "They broke. I guess I wasn't strong enough to contain this."

Kagura's eyes widened, no doubt adjusting to the dimness. "No…no, Kyo, you are strong, you can beat this! Have you tried just…changing back?"

"Yeah, like its that easy. And no, I'm stuck like this," it was becoming easier to say, the fog in his brain kept off the sting.

"What about Hatori? Or…or Akito? There must be someone who can help you!" she cried.

"Stop, please, just stop Kagura," he said, "They can't do anything, no one can. It's the Curse, that's all. I'll get used to it."

He jerked away instinctively as her fingertips came to rest tentatively on his arm, nearly slamming his head against the wall. "Kyo," she sniffled and his heart sank at the realization that she was crying, "Why did this happen?"

"I don't know," he said, "I guess I just wasn't good enough to keep it locked up inside me." Kagura withdrew her hand and began to cry softly, curling up a foot away and sobbing into her hands.

"Go home, Kagura," said Kyo. He felt tired just looking at her, and the sound of her sobs and the brown hair that curled in front of her face was bringing back memories he wanted buried as soon as possible.

"But what about you?" she sniffled, "I'm just supposed to leave you alone in this place?"

"I like it here," he said, "Its quiet, it lets me think. It's a lot better than Shigure's house."

"But its so dark. And look, you have old food just sitting here…" she trailed off and looked back at him, his slumped posture, the way his arms lay limp at his sides. "Kyo, have you eaten yet today?"

"Of course not, you've been here since I woke up," he snapped.

"What about yesterday?" she persisted.

"Yeah, sure. I dunno, I must have eaten something. Look, just go away and I'll eat," he said.

"No. I want to watch you eat this bowl of rice, and I'm not leaving until you do."

"If I do, will you go away?"

"Fine, but I'll be back," said Kagura.

"No way, either you stay away or it can sit there all day."

"You really don't want me coming back? You just want to be here, alone?"

"I don't want _anyone_ here," he snapped and winced at the memory of Tohru's eyes, the look of betrayal when he had said the same thing to her. "How do you think it feels, to look like this, to know I'm repulsive? I'm a monster, Kagura. Its better if everyone just forgets about me."

She gave him a long, measured look and reached to her side, pulling the rice bowl from the tray. "Eat this," she said. "I can't have my poor Kyo-Kyo starving himself to death."

He glowered and snatched the bowl from her hands, pouring its contents into his mouth and swallowing them defiantly. He saw her throat work in shock at the sight but she kept her face impassive. "Good, this too," she said handing him a plate of fish which he also downed. His stomach roiled unpleasantly, he had eaten too fast, but he carefully handed her back the plate and sat back, waiting.

"Are you happy now?" he said.

"Yes," said Kagura and stood, dusting off her skirt. "I'll be back tomorrow to make sure you've eaten."

"_Kagura_," he growled, allowing the sound of the beast to intrude into his voice. She winced but recovered herself.

"And there's nothing you can do about it. I'll see you later, Kyo!" she said cheerfully, for all the world like she was bidding him farewell after an afternoon at Shigure's. She closed the door behind her, leaving Kyo once more in darkness.

* * *

Reviews are the only compensation fan fiction authors receive for their hours of labor. With that in mind, please make this starving artist a happy one and leave one!


	14. Chapter 14

**To Be Human**

Author Note: As promised, here is your regularly scheduled Friday update. And it _is_ regularly scheduled, I have the next several chapters already completed so this fic will be completed within the next few months and will never go on hiatus again. Also, sometime in the near future I will be touching up the earlier chapters, so I apologize in advance if you get alerts for that. The changes will be relatively minor and will not require you to re-read the story.

Anyway, please enjoy the latest chapter of To Be Human. As always, please review!

As a reminder:

."..." speech

'...' thoughts, though it sometimes switches with _italics_ either because I forget or because the character is also speaking and "this"'would'"look wrong".

* * *

Hiro patted Kagura's head awkwardly as she sobbed onto his shoulder. He had managed to chase her down as she ran out the door to tell her Kyo's actual location, and had hovered about his house nervously until she came back. Her mask of calm had cracked as soon as she came in the door and she had collapsed sobbing into one of the chairs.

"He looked so lost, Hiro. And there was nothing I could do to help him. He hasn't been eating, I think he's trying to starve himself to death," she cried, her voice aching with misery. "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help him."

"How did it happen?" he said stupidly, grasping for something to say, as if asking about a stranger's death.

"It was the bracelet," she sniffled, "He said it broke and now he can't change back. Oh, Hiro, what if it's true? What if he never changes back?" Hiro had no response for this, no response to the sobbing girl in his arms. All he could see in his mind's eye was Kisa, once when he had seen her by accident in the days following their forced separation. She had been sitting on a bench in one of the many gardens that dotted the complex. She had cried like this, broken sobs of someone who has lost all the joy in their life. And all he had wanted to do was take the pain away, but he hadn't known how.

"Would he change back if he had the bracelet?" he asked carefully.

"But its no use! Didn't you hear what I said? The beads _broke_," said Kagura.

"Oh. Yeah.…" he said. 'She's the adult, she shouldn't be putting her troubles on me,' he tried to tell himself, but deep down he had always been a sucker for a crying woman.

'I could get it back…'

The thought struck unbidden and his body went rigid. He could make it right, Tohru would come back, Kagura would stop crying, and Kisa wouldn't be sad anymore. He could find where Akito had hidden the bracelet and give it back to Kyo. Once Kyo had it back he would probably transform right away.

'Don't be an idiot,' he chastised himself. How the heck was he supposed to find one bracelet in the entire Sohma household? Akito probably kept it under lock and key, maybe he never took it off his person.

'And if he catches me…' Hiro's blood went cold at the thought.

"Kagura," he said softly, taking hold of her wrist. She looked up at him, her eyes red from crying. "Don't worry about Kyo."

"Wha-? Hiro…"

"I mean, its not like there's anything you can do to help him. I'm sure he's gotten used to it already. Us guys…we don't like seeing a girl get all upset about us."

"Hiro, I can't do that," she said. "I can't stop wanting to help him, any more than I can stop loving him. And maybe…maybe even if he does change back he'll want to be with Tohru, and its going to break my heart…But Hiro, right now just thinking about him in that dark room, all alone, its breaking my heart right now! And as long as he's like that its never going to stop breaking."

"Kagura…"

Her words haunted him for the rest of the day as he wandered the grounds, ostensibly going to Kisa's house but not ready to face her if she too was crying. Who would have thought the damned Cat could cause him so much trouble? It was almost certainly because of the stolen bracelet that all of this had happened. 'Akito must be delighted,' he thought darkly, remembering the barely-contained glee with which Akito had given him the assignment. But what was he supposed to do now? Akito would never give the bracelet back to Kyo, that would give the whole ruse away. And he sure as hell wasn't going to give it to Hiro either.

"I'm sorry, Akito. I've changed my mind and I've decided I don't want to take Kyo's bracelet, would you mind giving it back so I can return it to him?" he announced sarcastically to the air. "Right, that'll work."

He was getting closer to Kisa's house, his heart sinking with every step until he was literally tugging at his hair in an attempt to clear his thoughts. "Maybe Kisa will get over it. I mean, there was no way Tohru was going to stay at Shigure's forever, it was just a matter of time until Akito made her leave. And Kagura will understand that Kyo needs to stay locked up. It was going to happen anyway, she'll just have to get used to it." The words rang hollow in his ears.

"Argh, why is this happening?" he groaned, dragging his hand down his face.

"Why is what happening, Hiro?"

Hiro looked up and saw Kisa standing in her front door. She had probably seen him from the window while he stood in front of her house talking to himself like a crazy person. He forced an easy smile onto his face. "Nothing, sorry I'm late." Kisa gave him a disbelieving look but ushered him inside.

Here was something he wouldn't give up in a hurry. To just be able to walk into Kisa's house, by the front door, and not have to look over his shoulder for Akito. This is what he would lose if things went back to the way they were. He thought of this while he followed Kisa into the house. It was Mogeta night for the two of them, which meant there would be a new episode on TV. This week was another extended power up, interspersed with repetitions of how it was important to protect your friends, blah blah blah. It was standard fare for a Mogeta episode and he paid only half a mind to it, leaning on the arm of the sofa and staring at the TV without really seeing it. He felt Kisa shift at his side as the episode ended.

"Hiro?" she said. "Do you think Sissy is ever going to come back?"

"I dunno, maybe," he said into the palm of his hand. Of course she would bring up the last thing he wanted to talk about.

"It's just that…I'm worried. I don't think anyone who lives away from the Sohmas has ever known our secret."

"Well I guess that makes Tohru the first then. You shouldn't be so worried about, just because she doesn't live at Shigure's doesn't mean you can't go see her."

"But Hiro, what if Akito has Hatori take her memories away? She wouldn't remember us anymore, she wouldn't know who I am," Hiro could hear the distress mounting in her voice. 'Please don't start crying,' he thought.

"Maybe Tohru will be different," he said lamely. Now that he thought of it, this was the perfect excuse for Akito to sic Hatori on her. There was always someone to keep an eye on her at Shigure's house but now she was living with a non-Sohma. And she had left them because of a fight with a Zodiac member, who's to say she wouldn't spill the beans? The sick feeling in his stomach grew more intense. Kisa hadn't started to cry, but her eyes were luminous and her brow crinkled with worry. Even like this she looked adorable and Hiro wanted to hug her with all his might.

"What if… there was something we could do to bring her back?" he said reluctantly. The effect was immediate, Kisa sat bolt upright her face suddenly shining, tears forgotten.

"Oh, Hiro, do you think we could? Maybe if we talked to Kyo…"

"No," he cut her off quickly, "He's impossible. Just give me a little time, I think I can figure out a way to make the stop fighting," even as he said the words he knew he would have to try. The sudden happiness that flooded Kisa's face was too much to bear and he let his bangs fall over his eyes to hide his own mourning. No more carefree days together, no more coming and going openly. If Kyo got the bracelet back Akito would immediately suspect Hiro, the only other person who knew that the real beads had been stolen in the first place.

"Really? That would make me so happy. I miss Sissy so much…" said Kisa in her soft voice, eyes now brimming with hope.

"Yeah, just give me a few days, I think I know what to do," he said, standing up. He'd have to figure out a plan right away. It was only a matter of time before Akito decided to do something to Tohru, something that would break Kisa's heart.

His heart started pounding as soon as he left the house. How was he going to do this? Should he just go now, walk right into Akito's room? Even if the head of the clan wasn't there there was no telling how long he'd be away. He might even have spies, or cameras in his room, Hiro realized with panic. And maybe he checked on the bracelet regularly, maybe he knew Hiro might try something like this…

Hiro took a deep breath and tried to calm his frenzied thoughts. No, he was going to need a plan, and an ally. He had to know that Akito wouldn't be coming to the room, and he needed a lead on where Akito would hide something like Kyo's bracelet. Obviously it wouldn't be out in the open, but he probably wouldn't trust a safety deposit box either because of the risk of others seeing it. No, it would be somewhere near Akito, somewhere he could keep an eye, where no one else would look.

Hiro fairly flew the rest of the way home. He knew who to call, the question was only if the bastard would help him.

* * *

Energy flowed back into Kyo's limbs, returning what feeling he had to his fingers and pooling its warmth in his stomach. With that energy came a clearing of the haze that had clouded his brain, focusing his vision and thoughts for the first time in days. He stared blearily at his claws, the familiar revulsion choaking him at the sight.

Stupid Kagura, treating him like some kid who needs to be forced to eat his vegetables. But as clarity returned, he felt with dull disbelief how different he felt. How long had it been since he had eaten? He realized with chagrin that it had been a matter of days rather than hours. He vaguely remembered hearing the flap squeek as it swung open and shut, as one meal was replaced with another three times a day.

At first the smells had enticed him, but when he had put the rice and fish in his mouth it had tasted like ash and he had simply let that part of his daily ritual slide. Perhaps that is why he had not been more firm with Kazuma about visiting him, and why he had been unable to summon the energy to force Kagura away, physically if necessary. Both of them would likely come by today, he grimaced. Seeing Kazuma wouldn't be so bad. It might even be…nice. To hear another's voice, someone who understood him. Kazuma's visits throughout the past week had mostly involved requests about Kyo's comfort and after Kyo's consistently perfunctory answers, the martial arts master had simply been content to tell about the comings and goings of the dojo. Kyo realized with a wave of guilt that Kazuma had probably though Kyo was upset, when in truth he had simpy been in a daze. Today Kyo would have to make sure Kazuma thought he was ok, and maybe convince him to lower the number of visits.

Which left Kagura. There was something about her presence that drained him like a rainy day. There was just no reasoning with the girl. If he didn't do something quickly she would take his stay in the Cat's House to make him her personal captive audience. He would almost prefer daily visits from Akito over that.

He supposed that he could just do as she said. Clean his plate before she arrived, present it for inspection, the send her on her way. But he knew that wouldn't be enough.

'Why did I do it anyway?' he thought, running one claw through the rice. It might as well have been sand for all the hunger that it inspired. A memory rose in his mind, his mother's face, her features drawn and haggard. He realized upon reflection that at the time he had thought she was sick. Her wan smile as she pushed away a nearly full plate of food, claiming she would eat it later. That had been about the time his father had begun to lose his temper more often, Kyo remembered the shouting…

He shook his head. Why had he thought of that? The truth was he didn't have an appetite, that was all. This body was sturdy enough anyway, he could probably go weeks without really needing to eat.

'Kagura might be back again tonight,' he realized, unconsciously clenching his teeth as if bracing himself. His thoughts were sharpening, the day before he hadn't been able to tell what time it was at all. The haze had been a blessing in that regard. At first he had thought that it was simply his meditations finally working, disconnecting him from the world. He didn't feel disconnected right now. Ever drop of energy entering his system was awakening him, bringing his thoughts closer back to the pain in his heart. Kazuma, Akito, _Tohru_…

He closed his eyes. No, he didn't need to think about that. It was in the past. It was peaceful here. He could deal with Kagura, he would be firm, serious. He'd show her that she wasn't wanted and this time he would make her listen. It wouldn't be like when he was a human.

Because in truth, he wasn't human. Not anymore.

And he felt a little, just a little, glad that Tohru wasn't there to see him like this.

* * *

Author Note: Reviews are the only payment I receive for the hours I spend on this story. With that in mind, please submit your (completely free!) review and let me know what you thought.


	15. Chapter 15

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Here is the latest chapter of To Be Human, please enjoy!

* * *

It was two weeks into summer break but, as student council president, Yuki was already back on campus. There was the beginning of the next school year to plan, organizing the welcome of the incoming first years, making the signs so they knew the directions to their classes…

It was all so tedious, but Yuki threw himself into the work. Anything to keep him from thinking about how Tohru had left.

He wanted to blame the stupid Cat for it. If he hadn't been so immature, if he hadn't fought with her like his stupid self would, if he could have just accepted…

But that's what he had done, wasn't it? He _had_ accepted that he was stuck that way, he had accepted it long before any of them had. Knowing that stupid Cat he had probably thought he was doing the right thing when he drove Tohru away.

Yuki's hand lingered on the doorknob of the classroom. 'But did he have to drive her away from all of us?' with a shake of his head he opened the door and froze.

Tohru stood at the front of the class talking to Miss Mayuko. She was wearing her summer uniform and a dazed expression. Mayuko patted her on the shoulder.

"I'm sure you did fine, Tohru. I gave you the re-take test, those are always easier."

"Miss Mayuko!" Tohru exclaimed, "You didn't have to--"

"Nonsense, you've been sick for weeks, I can cut you a break. Just make sure that Shigure stops back here every day to excuse you. A phone call really will suffice."

"Ah, well, umm, I'm not living with Shigure any more. I'm living with my grandfather," said Tohru.

Mayuko blinked in surprise then turned and caught sight of Yuki. "Oh. Yuki, I thought you would have said something," she said, turning to face him.

Tohru whipped around and paled at the sight of him. Yuki took an unconscious step back as he became the center of attention. "I--"

"Yuki," Tohru whispered. Yuki's breath caught in his throat. What had happened to her? The light had gone out of her features, it as if she were a porcelain facsimile of herself, one that would shatter at a touch. Like a statue that was brittle copy of the vibrant and caring girl he knew.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone was in here," he recovered, smoothing his voice, "Did you just take your finals, Miss Honda?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you for the study notes," she said, as if there were no more than familiar classmates.

"Any time. Are you enjoying your stay with your grandfather?"

"Yes, grandfather is very kind to me. I feel bad about intruding on his hospitality, but once I graduate next year I'll look for my own apartment."

"And your other relatives?" said Yuki, unable to keep the concern from bleeding into his voice. Last time they had encountered one another he had found them to be malicious and rude. He had been relieved when Tohru had agreed to come home with them.

"They've been very kind as well. I've had to make up for the time I missed at work so I don't see them often, but they leave me leftovers in the fridge," she said.

He tried to detect some hint in her voice that she was lying, but could find nothing. Tohru never had been good at deception. "Well if you should ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask," he said.

"Oh, I couldn't possibly…" she began but the look in his eyes must have given him away, she trailed off. Some of the stiffness left her body, "Thank you, Yuki."

"Alright you two, move along. I need to lock up the classroom," said Ms. Mayuko, "And Yuki, next time you see Kyo could you tell him to hurry up and get better? Don't let him think he can get away with not taking his final." Tohru's back stiffened as if she had been slapped.

"I'll tell him, Miss Mayuko," said Yuki.

Whatever moment that had passed between him and Tohru vanished, and the brittle quality had returned to her bearing. Tohru hefted her school bag and whispered a polite goodbye to him and Miss Mayuko and disappeared out the door.

"Am I missing something?" said Mayuko as the door closed behind Tohru.

Yuki had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping at the woman. "I'm sure Miss Honda is just worried about Kyo," he said.

"Hmm. Well I hope that boy recovers before Honda worries herself into another fever," said Mayuko. "I'm going home. Maybe you should do the same? Its weeks until school starts again."

"I'll consider it. Be safe, Miss Mayuko," said Yuki. As soon as she disappeared out the door he too wandered out into the hallway.

'I don't have the guts to go visit her at her grandfathers,' thought Yuki, 'but its ok if I talk to her here, isn't it?'

The bus had not yet arrived at the school and Tohru was still waiting at the curb when Yuki rounded the corner. She turned at the sound of footsteps, "Yuki? What are you doing here?"

Yuki froze a few feet away, his lips parted as he struggled for what he had meant to say. Would it be enough to just beg her to come back? Was it right to pressure her like that?

"Miss Honda, did something happen at the Main House?" said Yuki choosing his words with care. Her face darkened and her shoulders hunched, as if to make herself smaller. Her bangs fell across her face, covering her eyes, "Did Akito…did he hurt you at all?"

"No," she said.

"Did he say something? Has he done anything to Kyo?" he continued.

"No," she repeated, this time her voice quavered.

"Then why did you leave, Miss Honda?" said Yuki, "I can't believe that ridiculous rumor that you and Kyo had a fight," he stopped as he realized that Tohru's shoulders had begun to shake. He covered the remaining steps between and took her hand in his, "_Is_ it true?"

Tohru drew away, and his arm fell to his side. "He said he wants to stay there. He said…" she hiccupped a sob, covering her face with her arm to cover her tears, "he never wants to see me again." Yuki cursed under his breath and reached again for Tohru but she pushed his hand away, turning her back on him. "He's all alone in that room, in the dark. He said that he wanted to be there, that he told Akito to put him there. But I can't believe it! He was so afraid before," she sobbed, her words now incoherent. She ran a hand across her eyes but the tears continued to flow. "I couldn't help him."

"Miss Honda, Kyo wouldn't do something like that," Yuki said, but his words rang hollow. He remembered the old Kyo, so quick to anger, so callous with others. Could the original form have influenced him? Why would he drive Tohru away? "Miss Honda," he started again, trying to keep his internal tumult of anger and fear in check, "Kyo wouldn't want you in this state. Please, come back to Shigure's house. Maybe together we can figure out a way to help him."

"I can't," she whispered. Wheels screeched as the bus pulled to a stop in front of her. Without looking back at Yuki she stepped onto the bus. For a moment he was too surprised to move. The bus driver took one look at him, then at Tohru's tear-streaked face and with a disapproving frown pulled the door closed, shocking Yuki out of his daze.

"Wait, Miss Honda!" he pounded on the glass as the bus pulled away. He chased after it, catching a glimpse of Tohru, her face obscured, before the bus gained too much speed for him to follow, leaving him alone on the sidewalk.

* * *

Tohru cringed as Yuki shouted and pounded on the doors. She was shocked at her own rudeness, but how could she explain? After failing Kyo, and worse, after causing him pain…

What good was she to any of the Sohmas?

* * *

"Have you thought more on my offer?" said Akito. Her hands were folded inside her robes, a priceless kimono of golden silk richly embroidered with summer flowers and birds in flight. She knew she looked every inch an emperor, or a god, and it was the message she now wished to convey to Kyo. This was no false offer; she wanted to show him that it was well within her power to grant him Zodiac status. But the stupid fool didn't even look at her, but remained in his corner beside the door, his reptilian head tilted away from the light.

When he spoke, his voice sounded tired and somehow older, "Why would I? There's no point if I accept or don't."

Akito's lips twisted as she fought back an insult. No, this was not a compulsion but a seduction. She would make him accept. She would not lose a Zodiac member, not even the Cat. They, all of them, were _hers_. If only such wooing did not make her skin crawl, reminding her with disgust of her mother.

"Kyo, my Cat," she cooed, kneeling beside him and placing a hand on the leathery skin of his twisted arm. She was proud of herself for resisting the urge to pull away. The fact that she managed to keep her food down despite the overwhelming stench was a victory in itself. "I care for you, and all of the Zodiac members. I do. It grieves me that you have been cast out for so long. But now that you are being a good Cat, I see no reason that you should not be considered a true member of this family."

"But what's the point if I can't leave this house. If no one can see me?" there was an echo in Kyo's voice of a deeper pain and Akito felt it shudder across the bond. The stupid, foolish… at this rate he would destroy himself just as his idiot mother had. Why couldn't he just accept the offer and be happy about it?

The truth was that by now Akito couldn't change him back if she wanted to. The thought frightened her, that she couldn't control her own Zodiac. Now with the Honda girl gone she was prepared to have things return to normal. The fight between Kyo and the girl was a perfect cover, even if he should turn back. But the stubborn ass had turned Akito's own poison into a self-sustaining cycle so deep and dark that she could see no way of breaking it.

"What does it matter if the others see you? _I _will know. You will become my favorite family member, far better than Yuki ever was," Kyo shifted at this and Akito lunged for the kill, "Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

The moment balanced as if on a knife. Something surged down the line between them, but it was not bright: anger, vengeance, dark satisfaction. All emotions with which Akito was intimately familiar.

Then, hesitation.

"Akito, why did you ask me to defeat Yuki all those years ago? What were you getting out of it?"

Akito recoiled, feeling more control slip from her grasp. The old Kyo was brash and hotheaded, an easy combination to manipulate. And vulnerable, oh so vulnerable beneath his spiky exterior. What was this creature before her that questioned her? "I fail to see what that has to do with my offer," she said, unable to keep the ice from her voice.

"Its just…if I was going to turn into this form anyway there was no point in offering it. And now that I am like this it wouldn't have mattered even if I had beaten Yuki," he said as if working through a complicated math problem.

Akito riled at this, this _impudent_… "How was I to know you would become a monster? It has never happened in the history of the Zodiac. Others have had more self control than you," she spat.

"So I really am the only one this has happened to?" he said. Something had changed in his voice, and it reflected in the bond. It became, if possible, darker. "Then why am I the one you invite into the Zodiac?"

"Perhaps its because I pity you," Akito said. "What does it matter? You are being offered what no Cat has had since the beginning of the curse."

"Pity," repeated Kyo. It was unsettling, watching human words come from a maw that was never meant for speech. "I think, Akito, I'm going to have to refuse. It's not right, having a monster in the Zodiac."

"What?" said Akito, her tone low and dangerous. Any other Zodiac member, even Shigure or Hatori, would have cowered at that voice. But Kyo's alien features were unreadable.

"If you want to make me a Zodiac member, hey, that's up to you. But it doesn't matter to me anymore. Being a member of the Zodiac is for humans, not monsters." Akito was speechless as rage built inside her, burning every word before she could speak it. "I know you're upset. Maybe you did mean it, maybe you did really want me to join."

"You disgusting, repulsive… _demon_," she hissed, "How _dare_ you refuse me?" she struck him with the full force of her backhand and pain shot up her arm followed by numbness. She stared in shock, Kyo had blocked her with one clawed hand. She hadn't seen him move. She pulled the hand hastily back into her robe, crafting her face into a careful mask to hide her pain and surprise.

"I think you should go," he said quietly, "I'll understand if you don't visit me again."

"Fine," she said, standing. Rage suffused her features, two spots of color blooming in her cheeks. "Stay here in the dark and _rot_. Kill yourself like you mother did, I don't care anymore."

* * *

Author Note: Reviews are the only compensation I receive for the hours of work I put into this story. With that in mind, please review!


	16. Chapter 16

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Here is your regularly scheduled chapter! And, I might add, one I'm particularly proud of. As always, please enjoy! I look forward to your review (hint hint).

* * *

"How dare he? How _dare_ he?" raged Akito, throwing a decorative urns across the room to shatter against the wall. Hatori looked on, ignoring the sympathetic throbbing of his eye in response to the violence. Soon Akito would wear herself out as she did with all her tantrums, he would dose her with something to help her sleep and then try to get a few hours of rest himself. "How dare he turn my offer down, the _Zodiac_ down?! I hope he _rots_ in there, I hope he rots and dies!" her voice rose to a shriek, breaking the usual tenor of her normal pitch. Any louder and Akito's true gender would no longer be a secret, Hatori observed, lighting himself a cigarette.

"Is it something you would like to talk about, Akito?" he said.

"That monster, how he dared to speak to me like that? I give him his greatest desire and he spits in my face!" she raved.

"Is there any particular reason you offered it in the first place?" said Hatori.

"What business is it of yours?" hissed Akito, "You're just like him, always _questioning_ me. That's all any of you do! Always questioning, always pulling and dragging on our bond, trying to tear yourselves away. But I showed you, all of you, and I'll show him too!"

Hatori arched an eyebrow, considering a double dose of sedatives for this evening. It had been some time since Akito had had such a fit. It was times like these she most resembled her mother, though it would be dangerous and foolhardy to say so.

"I want you to go to the Honda girl, I want you to erase her memory. Then you'll stay, you'll all stop pulling away if I do that," said Akito.

Hatori kept his face neutral, "Are you sure your position is secure enough for that? Many will find the move tyrannical, especially after the girl has already removed herself. Besides, that is your strongest bargaining chip, is it not? With Kyo's freedom gone as well as his human form, with all its frailties, there is very little you can do to control him at all." He kept his voice level and rational. Under normal circumstances, Akito would have already considered such a strategy, but during these fits Hatori felt the need to finish the reasoning for her before she gave him an order he couldn't refuse.

"Yes…yes, you're right," said Akito, calming herself. She brushed her bangs from her eyes, and with the smoothing of her hair some of the wildness melted from her features. "Let her mope awhile longer. It doesn't matter anyway if Kyo wants to end his existence. There will be another Cat along soon enough."

Hatori sat a bit straighter, "Is something wrong with Kyo?"

"The fool is quickly going the way of his mother, not that it matters. Likely such stupidity runs in the family," said Akito. "Its not your place to ask those kind of questions, anyway."

"The health of the Sohma family, even those members who lack human anatomy, is always my concern. If you'd like I could visit him. Perhaps there is something I can do to help," said Hatori, and passed Akito a small cup of medicine mixed with sleeping draught, which she downed.

"No, its too deep anyway. There's nothing to be done for the pitiful monster now," said Akito, lying back down on her bed. "Stay with me, until I fall asleep, my dragon?" she said, her voice carrying the faint echoes of the child they had loved.

Hatori nodded and stroked her hair as her eyelids grew heavy, pondering as he did so. Why had Akito offered Kyo a place in the Zodiac? Why now of all time? And how did she know the exact depths of his depression from a single meeting?

Shigure would be up at this hour, Hatori thought as Akito's eyes closed and her breathing became regular. Perhaps it was time to give him a call.

* * *

"Kagura, this has to stop," there was something low and implacable about Kyo's voice. Kagura ignored it, despite the chill that ran up her spine, and handed him the bowl of rice. He took it but held it to one side, the serving-sized bowl appearing no larger than a cup in his claw.

"Come on Kyo, you need your strength," she said, her voice bright and cheerful but inside her heart ached. She didn't know what to do to help him, so she made sure he ate his meals. The arrangement had gone on for a few days now. At first he had tried to finish them before she arrived, until she had begun to request the tray from the kitchen herself. The servants were only too happy to pass the duty on to another, and so far there had been no protest from Akito. The head of the clan had been strangely silent on the topic of Kyo, and a sort of tranquility had settled upon this portion of the complex.

"_Kagura_," he repeated, placing the bowl down by his side with care. "I'm not a child."

"Aren't you, Kyo?" she said, with a hint of repressed anger. She couldn't fight him in this form, there was no clobbering him into submission, and though she loathed to admit it the thought of touching his skin made her shudder. But she had to remember that beneath this exterior was her Kyo, and that he needed her. "When I saw you that first day you hadn't eaten in a week."

He sighed, his breath _whuffing_ between inhuman teeth. "Yeah, I know. I get how that worried you, and I won't do it again. If I promise you that, will you leave me alone?"

"No," she said.

"Why not?"

"Because I care for you, Kyo," she said, beginning to fidget. "I'd do anything for you."

"Then why can't you do what I ask?" the violet of his eyes shone with their own light in the dimness. There was something so inhuman, so _frightening_ about those eyes. She clenched her fingers around each other to keep them from trembling. She wouldn't let him know she was afraid.

"Because I can't stand the thought of you sad," she said, her heart beginning to pound in her chest. How could anyone not go insane in that body? She couldn't even imagine how she would endure it if she were the Cat.

"No, I don't think that's it," he said. His head cocked to the side, the movement chilling and grotesque on the original form's sinuous neck. "Have you ever thought what it is like, Kagura? Having an original form?"

"Of course, Kyo. It must be terrible. That's why I want to be here for you," she said.

"Even though it scared you when you were a kid?" his violet eyes glinting as he watched her.

"No, that was a long time ago. I'm not afraid anymore, I swear," his expression changed. Though it was difficult to tell on such alien features, she could almost feel his disappointment.

"Maybe you should be afraid," he said. She had only a second to gasp at the impact as she was forced against the wall, his claws pressed against her throat, digging into the wood on either side of her neck.

"_Kyo_?" she wheezed. Her hands came up by instinct to claw at the scaled paw. The pressure released an inch, enough for her to drag a deep, shuddering breath, but not enough to free herself.

"What do you think, Kagura? That inside of this body I'm still human? That you could tear off this skin like a costume and find the real me underneath?" her eyes widened as he brought his face close to hers, the stench of the grave raising bile like acid in her throat. "What a stupid illusion. There's only a monster in here now, and there's no transforming back. This monster doesn't need your pity."

Tears of terror began to prick at her eyes, and Kagura lashed out a desperate kick at her captor. Pain lanced up her leg, but Kyo didn't move. For a fleeting moment she thought she saw a faint smile twist at his lips.

"_Why are you doing this_?" she whispered.

"To show you," he said. "It's ok to be afraid. This form can kill you… so easily. But you think you're doing me a favor by hiding your fear and forcing your pity on me. I don't want it, Kagura. I. Don't. Want. It. I don't know how I can make it any plainer to you." His gaze followed the length of his arm and with a shudder released his grip and turned away. Kagura fell forward, gasping for deep breaths of air, her fingers flying to her throat.

Kyo retreated into the shadows in the opposite corner of the room, the twisted lines of his form lost in the darkness. Only the violet of his eyes shone like a demon's. Kagura's heart wrenched.

"Kyo… Please, Kyo, don't send me away. You're in so much pain and I…I just want to help you!" she cried.

"I almost believe you," he said, the fierce violet of those eyes dimming, "But that's only because you almost believe yourself. Don't you realize that you're really here for yourself?" Kagura froze. "Is this really how you want me, Kagura? A prisoner?"

"No!" she screamed, but the twist of her heart belied it. Wasn't it true? She wanted to save Kyo, she wanted to make him better because she wanted him to love her. She wanted to be the only one who could help him.

Because she pitied him.

She began to sob, ignoring those eyes as they gazed on her. The old Kyo would have been reduced to helplessness by this, he would have been falling all over himself to make her stop. But this one only watched her.

"I'm sorry," he said, and she looked up. "I'm sorry I scared you. It was… wrong of me. You were only trying to help," said Kyo. He sounded tired.

"What do I have to do, Kyo? Please, just tell me," she said. Instead she was the helpless one, she was the one trying to find any way to make him stop looking at her with those eyes.

"It hasn't changed, Kagura. I just want to be left alone."

For a moment she held his gaze. There was no lie there, only resolve and sorrow.

Kagura stood and turned to go. She placed a hand on the door frame and cast one last glance into the shadows where Kyo sat. Then in one motion she opened the door and vanished back into the daylight.

* * *

"…That's where the boys went last time, but you really should call first--," Shigure sighed as the line went dead. He hung up the phone, noting idly that he had been quite popular in the last day. First Hatori had called him in the middle of the night to tell him about Akito's fit, her cryptic words about the Cat. The puzzle had kept him up late into the morning. He had then slept most of the day away, only to be awakened later by this phone call.

He sighed and stretched. He should probably shower and get dressed, even if it was almost three in the afternoon. A shave probably wouldn't hurt either…

He mused on this as he began to putter throughout the house. His ribs had now mostly healed from the damage done by Kyo all those weeks ago. Perhaps he would celebrate by inviting Aya over. Yuki had been so gloomy lately, a visit from his brother would be just the the thing to make him stop being such an insufferable bore.

Speaking of Yuki…a knock sounded at the door. Shigure blinked in surprise and quickly threw one of his author robes over his sleeping gown. It was far too early for Yuki to be back from his student council activities.

Shigure slid open the door and looked down.

"Hey," said Hiro. "Well, aren't you going to invite me in?"

* * *

Author Note: I'm quite proud of this chapter and would love to hear your opinion. Please review!


	17. Chapter 17

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Sorry about the delay, vacation and illness have wreaked havoc on my schedule. Also, the number of chapters I have left over is dwindling so it'll be back to work again soon. I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, a lot has changed since I first began it back in 2005. Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I just want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, you really make my day and make all of this worth the effort. I'd love to hear from any lurkers sometime, so if you haven't reviewed the story yet I'd be interested to hear what you think.

* * *

Shigure regarded Hiro as they sat across from one another at the dining room table. The boy was fidgety and wouldn't say right away why he had come. It had been some time since he and Kisa had come to Shigure's house. They had always come to see Tohru, and Hiro had never before come without Kisa. Furthermore, a considerable gulf of years stretched between the eldest Zodiac members and the youngest. In truth, as Shigure studied the blond in front of him he could not fathom why the boy would have approached him. Occasionally Hiro would open his mouth as if to speak, and then close it without saying anything.

As the time passed Shigure began to grow impatient. Something was obviously on the boy's mind, "Hiro, is something wrong?"

The boy looked up, a flush building in his cheeks, "What's it to you?"

"Well, you're in my house and since you're not Yuki that's a bit unusual."

"What, I can't just come over to visit?" said the boy defensively. Shigure had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. They boy was intelligent for his age, but not terribly subtle when something was upsetting him.

"Of course you can," said Shigure cheerfully, "As a member of the Sohma family you get full run of the house. So while you do that, I'll just be getting back to my writing…" he almost smirked as the boy's back straightened.

"But I came here to talk to you!"

"Ah, well in that case why don't you tell me what's on your mind. Would you like something to drink? I think I have some sake here…" his grin grew as the boy turned bright red.

"I'm too young to drink, idiot. Geez, you're a lousy grownup," said Hiro.

"Of course, how forgetful of me," said Shigure, "So what was it you wanted to tell me about Tohru?"

"I never said I wanted to talk about Tohru!"

"Oh, my mistake. I simply assumed since nothing unusual has happened here besides Tohru leaving that that was what you came to talk about."

Hiro gave him an incredulous look, "Whaddya mean nothing's happened? What about Kyo? Something happened to him, right?"

Shigure's eyes narrowed, "Kyo has gone to stay with Kazuma for a bit. If by something happening you mean his spat with Tohru then you are correct. How thoughtful of you to show concern."

"I'm not concerned, I don't care if they want to fight. Its just that…" Hiro paused and Shigure leaned closer like a dog that had caught a scent. "Whatever happened has made Kisa sad. And I want to make it right."

"That's not all is it, Hiro?" said Shigure.

"Yeah, that's all. What else would it be? Those two need to stop fighting so Tohru will come back," said Hiro, refusing to meet Shigure's eyes.

"I'm afraid its not that simple. The circumstances of the fight were…well, that's between the two of them. I'm not sure what advice I can give you on the matter, if any," said Shigure.

Hiro took a deep breath. He looked ready to flee the room. He muttered something to himself, something about being "grown up", Shigure couldn't catch the rest. Then Hiro looked up, this time meeting Shigure's gaze. "I know. I can't tell you why, but I know that Kyo is in his original form, and that that's why Tohru left. I think I can do something to help them, but I need your help."

Shigure leaned back, carefully masking the shock on his face as his brain began to work. Akito's cryptic words, the unique nature of Kyo's transformation, the fact that Tohru had been driven away only once Kyo had been moved to Sohma House. It was all convenient, far too convenient. And now this final piece.

"How long have you known about Kyo's transformation?" said Shigure.

Hiro blinked and looked away, "I don't know. When Tohru came to Kisa's house I guess I just figured it out."

"Did she tell you that Kyo transformed? Does Kisa know?" pressed Shigure.

"No, she didn't say anything really. Why do I have to explain myself to you? Can't you just accept that I want to help? And what does Kisa have to do with it?" said Hiro.

"Well, whether Kisa knows may help determine whether she's in danger," said Shigure. He felt a small pang of regret at the fear that crossed Hiro's face, but he couldn't have the boy becoming secretive again. "Does she know what you did the last time you were at this house?"

"W-what are talking about? I didn't do anything," Hiro rose to his feet. "You can't just go around accusing people of things when you don't have any evidence."

"I didn't have any evidence, Hiro, at least not until now. Its all rather convenient, isn't it? The last time you and Kisa were here was the last day Kyo was human. And now, only a few weeks later, Tohru has stopped living with us," said Shigure.

"It's just a coincidence…" said Hiro faintly.

"What did Akito threaten you with?" said Shigure, his voice insistent.

"Nothing! Akito didn't have anything to do with this. You're being crazy. Everyone knows you hate Akito, you're just seeing conspiracies," said Hiro, his face had gone utterly white.

"Was it Kisa? Did he threaten to hurt her if you didn't do as he asked?" continued Shigure.

"How many times do I gotta say it? He didn't do anything. I don't have to listen to you make up theories, I'm leaving," Hiro stalked past Shigure, only to have the Dog grab his wrist and pull him down to the ground. "What are you doing? Hey, you can't keep me a prisoner here, I can leave if I want!" protested Hiro.

"What did Akito tell you to do, Hiro?" said Shigure, tightening his grip.

"Stop it, this is child abuse, you can't do this to me you crazy old man!" cried Hiro, trying to pull away but in vain.

"What did Akito tell you to do?!"

"Nothing, stop it!"

"If you don't tell me, then so help me I will—"

"I can't!" screamed Hiro. Shigure loosened his grip and realized with surprise that tears stood out in Hiro's eyes. "I can't. He said if I told anyone I would never see Kisa again."

"Hiro, Akito will not take Kisa away," said Shigure.

"How do you know that? You're just a stupid Dog, you don't even live at the Main House anymore! What the hell do you know?" cried Hiro, "Akito is the god, he can do anything to us!"

"You misunderstood me. Akito will not take Kisa away because I will not let that happen. If Akito is responsible for Kyo's transformation…is he, Hiro?" Hiro nodded reluctantly. Shigure's expression grew grim. "Then this has gone too far. Now, I will ask you one more time, what did Akito tell you to do?"

Hiro stared at him, his eyes wide with terror. Then he slumped forward. For a moment Shigure thought he had fainted, but then a whispered answer came. "The bracelet…he told me to steal the bracelet."

"But the bracelet was still here when Kyo transformed," countered Shigure.

Hiro shook his head, "It was a fake. I took the real one and gave it to Akito," Hiro looked up, "That's why I came here. I need you to help me steal it back. I was going to go to Hatori, but I can't trust him, he might tell Akito. But everyone knows you and Akito hate each other."

"There's a great deal wrong with that statement," Shigure said with a smile, "But it's good that you came to me."

"So you won't tell him?" said Hiro fearfully.

"No, I won't."

* * *

Yuki reached for the door to the house just as it slid and was shocked to see Hiro staring back at him.

"Hiro? What are you doing here?" said Yuki.

"He was just leaving," said Shigure, appearing in the door beside the younger Zodiac member. "It seems he forgot some things here when he last visited with Kisa. Isn't that right, Hiro?"

Hiro nodded silently and pushed passed Yuki.

"I'm going to be out for several hours tomorrow night, Yuki," said Shigure, pulling the Rat's attention away from the retreating Sheep. "I have some business with the Main House."

"Oh, alright," said Yuki, a bit puzzled. Shigure didn't usually bother to inform him of his plans.

"Which reminds me, have you seen Tohru lately?"

Yuki grimaced, "Yes, at school. She doesn't seem interested in coming back," which was an understatement, he thought. She had practically run away from him. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Perhaps we should visit her sometime. Make sure she's doing alright," said Shigure.

"Perhaps," said Yuki. Of course he wanted to do just that, but Tohru seemed so distressed when he last saw her. He wondered if it was better to give her space.

"Our flower should know that we're thinking of her. All of us. Perhaps a card?" Shigure mused. Yuki walked past him with a sigh.

* * *

That night Tohru slept uneasily. Her dreams were haunted by flashing images, a dark room, a bedroom that was not her own, and Shigure's house. More images flashed through her dreams, half-glimpsed faces and unfamiliar emotions. And connecting them all were lines like chords stretching into the distance, tying all of those hearts and faces together.

And there, at the center, she could see herself standing as if she floated outside of her body. Another shadowy form stood beside her, a lean woman, her face hidden by short, dark hair. Some of the chords were in her grip, wrapped around her hand, but they were slipping free one by one.

"_Take them_," a voice echoed throughout the world, making the lines tremble.

'I can't,' thought Tohru, 'They aren't mine.'

"_Save them_," said the voice again, and this time Tohru reached out, trying to take those lines into her hand. But they slipped through her grasp as if they were no more than illusions.

"_Soon,_" said the voice.

Tohru bolted upright. She was on her futon, surrounded by darkness and the soft snoring of her cousin. She shivered. There had been something so real about that dream, something familiar about that voice, though she could not place it. She lay back down again and stared at the ceiling. Sleep dragged once more at her eyelids, and the dream slipped from her mind like water through her fingers.

* * *

Author Note: A slightly shorter chapter than usual, but it seemed like a good place to pause. I hope you enjoyed it, please review!


	18. Chapter 18

**To Be Human**

Author Note: I'm glad that you've stuck around this far! This is kind of an important chapter, so I hope you enjoy it. If you haven't had a chance yet, please leave a review! I'd love to hear what you think of the story.

* * *

Hiro watched as Akito and Shigure stepped into the limousine, the door held open by the chauffeur. They both wore western-style suits but there was a stiffness about them that had nothing to do with formality. Hiro didn't know how Shigure had talked Akito into going to dinner with him, but it was clear that Akito was not entirely pleased by the arrangement.

He took a deep breath and turned to face Akito's house, the largest building at the center of the Sohma Complex. A few servants wandered about cleaning or carrying out orders for the maintenance of the estate. Snakes roiled in his stomach at the number of eyes that could be watching them, any one of them eager to report him to Akito for snooping.

"_Don't pay any attention to the servants_," Shigure had said the day before. _"As a member of the inner circle you're like royalty to them. Just act like you know what you're doing and none of them will bother_ _you."_

Hiro strode in the front door, staring straight ahead and keeping his expression wooden as he passed more servants. Out of the corner of his vision he saw some glance at him, but recognition dawned in their eyes and they scurried back to their tasks. It seemed as if the hallways stretched out for miles in front of him, each door could contain someone who _would_ know he wasn't supposed to be there. Kureno, or Hatori, or the head maid who had almost as much authority as Akito in this house.

"_Akito wouldn't allow the beads out of his sight, they're too important for him to risk being found. He'll likely keep them in his private chamber."_

Hiro remembered the last time he had been in Akito's quarters, when he had knelt before the god of the Zodiac and told him how much he loved Kisa. He had been younger then, only a child. He had mistaken the subtle shifting of Akito's body as interest, rather than displeasure. He had been such a fool.

He slowed as he came to the hallway that held Akito's room. Had he been this nervous when he had stolen the bracelet in the first place? The hallway was empty, no one wanted to be accused of trespassing. Though that didn't mean someone wasn't cleaning it. A cold sweat broke out on Hiro's forhead and he forced his limbs to keep moving despite the paralyzing fear that threatened to hold them in place. He quietly slid the door open then snapped it shut behind him, breathing hard as he looked out across the spacious room.

"_The beads are small, so they could be hidden anywhere. But they probably won't be locked away. Akito will want to have easy access to them and won't be afraid of someone else knowing of their presence." _

The chamber was huge, big enough to easily fit the first floor of Hiro's home. With a start, Hiro realized he had wandered into the audience chamber. Of course, Akito woudn't have met with him in his bedroom. His hands began to shake and he swallowed. There had to be a door that lead to Akito's room.

He found it at the back of the room beside the dais. The room beyond it was significantly smaller, though it shared the view of the garden, and contained a Western style bed. Various shelves and drawers sat up against the wall, exquisitely carved antiques with glossy finishes, adorned with beautiful designs. Dismay rose in Hiro. The bracelet could be in any of those drawers, if it was in there at all. He glanced at his watch. It was a quarter after six, Shigure promised him two hours if Akito did not have a tantrum and demand to return sooner. A real possibility, considering the venom between those two. Fortunately the sun was had not yet set, he had at least another hour of light. He set to work, opening drawers methodically, row by row.

* * *

Akito picked at the expensive meal before her, suspicion painting her features as she glared through her lashes at Shigure. The Dog pretended to ignore this as he exclaimed merrily over the quality of the food, calling for samples of the finest wines to go with his steak au poivre.

"Is this supposed to be an apology, Shigure?" Akito growled once the man had finally selected the restaurant's best Bordeaux, after delicately sniffing it with his extremely sensitive nose. "Or this just an attempt to have a meal on the Sohma yen?"

Shigure pinched the stem of the wine glass idly between two fingers and regarded Akito with his dark eyes. They danced with amusement, and Akito found herself torn between fury and a desperate desire to be the cause of that happiness. An impulse she quashed before it could show on her face. Instead she scowled. "I wasn't aware that I had anything to apologize for, Lord Akito," he remarked, taking a sip of the wine.

"My mistake, I would have thought there was something riding on your conscious when you finally sought me out," retorted Akito.

Shigure appeared to consider this, then snapped his fingers, "Ah, I do regret not bringing a gift for the last New Year celebration. It was very thoughtless of me."

Akito gritted her teeth, "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Hmm, well I can't think of any other regrets at the moment. Let me get back to you on that one if I remember something," said Shigure.

"Indeed, that would be wise," said Akito. More out of habit than interest she took a bite of her meal. It was exquisitely prepared and the fish melted on her tongue like butter, but she took no notice of the taste. Shigure cocked his head to one side as he regarded her.

"You should come out more often. You look very beautiful in this light," said Shigure.

"Hmph, how inappropriate," said Akito.

"Yes, it is unconventional to refer to a man as beautiful, but it's true. There is something… transcendent about you this evening." Akito glared, lest he mistake the rising flush in her cheeks for anything other than irritation. Still, her heart fluttered at the compliment and something inside her lightened.

* * *

Sitting in an alcove on one of the shelves was a simple box like a wrapped gift. Hiro had passed it dozens of times but by now nearly an hour had passed and panic creeped up his spine like ice. He noted that the box was not tied shut, but only decorated with silk ribbon. Standing on his toes he took the box down, feeling a tremor like an electric shock run down his hands as he did so.

The lid came away easily and, with a rush of disappointment, Hiro realized the box was empty.

* * *

She wasn't sure how it had happened, but somehow Shigure had convinced her to try a sip of his wine, and then another and before she knew it, Akito had her own glass filled to the half way point and was sipping at it nearly as often as Shigure. The world had become a softer place, the lights more glorious, the company entrancing. She found herself smiling as Shigure related the various pranks he had played on his editor, and even managed to ignore the pangs of jealousy as his association with another woman. From the sound of it, the girl was merely and amusement, far too easily manipulated to be of real interest to one such as Shigure.

Perhaps he was right, spending so much time at Sohma House became easily dull. Perhaps, if Shigure asked her to accompany him again, she would go with less resistance. After all, she was the head of a wealthy clan, there was no reason she could not afford such indulgences. Perhaps she could even afford to be a little more lenient with the other Zodiac members, now that Tohru Honda was no longer pulling them from her.

"And then instead of the literary manuscript I slipped her the…oh," Shigure's eyes went wide and the glass that he had held so elegantly between his fingers tipped, falling to the floor in blood-red a spray. But Shigure didn't notice, he was staring at his hands in astonishment.

A tear slid down his cheek.

"Shigure?" Akito started to her feet and in two steps was crouched at Shigure's side. "Shigure, what's going on?"

"I…" he looked up into her eyes and she felt something pass from him and through her like a ghost. Inside one of the chords reaching into the darkness vanished. "I can't feel you."

Akito stared back at him as his eyes changed, becoming distant and unknowable. Disconnected.

And she began to scream.

* * *

The plate fell from Tohru's hand and shattered on the floor, spraying white porclein in tiny shards across the kitchen.

"Tohru? What's going on?" her aunt exclaimed, half way to passing her another clean dish to put away.

Tohru's hand flew to her heart. It was as if something heavy had been placed on her shoulders and the weight of it clenched around her like a vice, closing around her heart. She gasped for air, as the beating of her bloood echoed in her ears like thunder in a cave.

Then, just as suddenly, it was gone.

* * *

Hiro replaced the lid on the box and reached to place it back on the shelf. As he did so, his fingers brushed against something, like a crease in the wood. He frowned. Standing on tip toes he brushed his fingers across the shelf again. The sun was beginning to set so he felt more than saw the hidden compartment beneath where the box had stood. He pried one fingernail between the slats and slowly forced the compartment open. He was rewarded by the glow of white beads in the dim light. He caught the strand around his middle finger and eased it out, closing the lid of the compartment behind it and replacing the box on top.

For a moment he could only stare at the bracelet in his hands. This was it, for better or worse.

As he snuck his way out of the room, he realized for the first time in weeks he felt proud of himself. He felt like now he could look Kisa in the eye, even if the worst should happen, and be a man.

* * *

She stood in front of the unfamiliar building and double-checked the address on the slip of paper. It was the right one and the lights were still on in the kitchen. It was only a little after eight anyway, it wasn't unreasonable to have visitors at this hour. At least, that's what she told herself as she walked up to the door and rang the bell.

A woman with a sour expression opened the door and eyed her suspicioiusly. "Do I know you?" she said.

"I'm sorry to intrude, but is Tohru available?"

"Yes, she should be done cleaning up the mess she made in the kitchen. Who are you?"

"My name is Kagura Sohma," she said with a bright smile. "She and I have something important to talk about."

* * *

Author Note: It bears mentioning that I had no idea about what would happen to Shigure until it happened. I'd say more but that would give away too much about the story. Suffice to say it shocked me almost as much as Akito. I guess it just goes to show how the characters will sometimes do things the writer can't predict. Though for some reason it's always Shigure…hmm….

Also, there's been a major re-planning of the end of this story and while next week's chapter should be out on time, there may be a week in the near future where I have to skip a Friday update to do a lot of re-writing. Thanks for understanding.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing what you thought of these new developments!


	19. Chapter 19

**To Be Human**

Author Note: This was originally supposed to be two chapters, but after extensive editing of some very redundant prose the chapter is finally worth posting. I think its contents are something that you all have been looking forward to for awhile. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

The bloody light of the setting sun washed across the Sohma Complex as Hiro stumbled out of Akito's mansion, one hand clenched around the beads. None of the servants spared him a glance, and as he turned the corner he gave up all pretense of calm and bolted.

'I don't have to do it,' a part of him whispered, 'I can still go back and return it, no one would have to know.' But something had dawned on him as his hand had closed around the bracelet, that sense of pride and honesty. It gave his heart a curious, light sensation. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be grown up.

He dashed through the fading light toward the isolated shack, his atonement wrapped between his fingers.

* * *

Kyo's meals had become regular again in his attempt to ward off Kagura. He had eaten breakfast and lunch that day, and knew from the position of the sun that dinner would soon be arriving. In the privacy of his thoughts, he had to admit he was freaked out by the starvation thing. He had thought himself resigned to his imprisonment-- just because he had not been strong enough to restrain the original form, didn't mean he couldn't face the years ahead. After all, what need did this body really have of food? Why should a monster keep to the schedule of a normal human's necessities?

But as energy had returned to him and his thoughts had cleared, a part of him had been forced to admit that _this_ is what he had been trying to avoid: the years that stretched out before him like an ocean without a horizon. He realized that starving himself had just been another way to ignore the future... and forget the past. Even brushing against his memories recalled how she had paled and how her eyes had widened and how... no, he couldn't think about that. He'd have to find another way that wasn't starving himself.

At first he had tried the books that Kazuma had brought him, but even once he had mastered the art of turning the pages without piercing or tearing them with his claws he had quickly found them unbearable. They described a world that was completely outside his reach. Even the educational ones he pushed aside. What was the point of learning when there was no way to apply it?

And so Kyo sat as he had for weeks now, leaning against the wall of the prison that he could leave at any moment and yet would not, at an utter loss of what to do with the solitude he had been so quick to demand. He took some comfort in the knowledge that, wherever they were, everyone's life was going on without him. Kazuma would be at his dojo, training the latest batch of Sohma kids and perfecting the technique of the adults. Tohru-- he forced himself past the knee-jerk agony-- Tohru would be with her friends, or maybe even with Yuki. They might be on a date right now. It didn't matter to him. It _couldn't_ matter to him, that sort of thing wasn't his concern any more. He should just be happy for them, for everyone.

He just wished it wasn't so hard.

His ears perked up as the door rattled, bringing him back to reality. He stood and stepped forward into the light that came through the bars in the window, expecting to see the tray slide through the flap in the door. But after a moment no food appeared and the rattling continued. His eyes widened as he realized that the sound was a quiet knocking, something so normal that it was utterly out of place in his new life.

He made no move to open the door, but once it had become clear that whoever stood outside would not leave until he answered, he cleared his throat and tried to speak in as normal tone as possible, "Who's there?"

The knocking stopped and Kyo's ears pricked to the sound of heavy breathing. A figure with wheat-blond hair moved in front of the window.

"Hiro?" Kyo gaped, too surprised to react when the Sheep froze at the sight of him and stumbled back, clutching his nose and mouth. Kyo moved to the window and saw Hiro's expression, his eyes wide and blank, his hand clamped over his face as if to keep himself from vomiting. For a moment they stared at one another, the sunlight glinted off of the orange scales of Kyo's reptilian head and shrank Hiro's pupils to pinpoints. Then Hiro turned and ran, darting between the open gate and vanishing around the corner.

* * *

"I couldn't do it," panted Hiro as he ran. "Why? Why couldn't I just give it to him?"

It had seemed simple in his mind, find the bracelet, retrieve it, and give it back to Kyo. Then Tohru would come back, Kisa would be happy, and life would go back to normal, both the good and the bad. But when he had gone to look in the window, when he had seen and smelled the monster inside…

His stomach clenched and he felt bile burn the back of his throat as he ran. It was worse than anything he could have imagined. The monster had been terrifying and real, the stench rancid as it barraged his senses. And then it had spoken, it had said his name with Kyo's voice and the hair on the back of his neck had stood on end. How was that even possible, how could something so terrifying exist?

How had he let it happen?

The idea had been so abstract when he had stood before Akito and received the assignment. Steal a bracelet, that was it. Then he and Kisa would be happy. What did it matter if Kyo got hurt? The Cat was an adult, he could handle himself.

But who could protect themselves from _that_?

Those bright purple eyes had stared into his and he could feel the silent accusation. How could you do this to me? Did you think it was just a game? Which of us is the real monster?

'I can't go back,' Hiro thought, 'I'm just a kid, I can't…'

It would be so easy to go back to Kisa, trusting Akito to keep his word about their safety and forget any of this had happened. As he rounded the corner and the Cat's House dropped from sight he slowed down and doubled over, panting and retching. The stench still clung to the back of his throat and he fell against a wall, fighting to catch his breath. The sight flashed across his inner eye, the monster in the cage, the familiar voice, Kisa's blonde hair as she pressed herself against Tohru, begging her not to go.

"What am I _doing_?" Hiro growled. He glared at the offending beads. He wanted to throw them as far as he could and forget they had ever existed. Instead he clenched them in his fist until his knuckles went white. "What's so special about this stupid thing?" What did it matter that they had been stolen, why should he be responsible for giving them back? Why couldn't the stupid Cat have looked after himself and not gotten them stolen in the first place? Why…?

Why couldn't he get of rid of this guilt?

_Why can't I be more…grownup?_

Shoving the beads back into his pocket, Hiro set his face into a scowl and turned back the way he had come.

* * *

Kyo had just turned away from the window, still puzzled by Hiro's appearance and equally sudden disappearance, when the sound of feet on gravel turned him back.

Hiro's face was greenish-white and he walked as if weights had been tied to his legs. One arm was straight and unmoving, the fist clenched around something in his pocket and his bangs cast a shadow over his eyes. He came up to the window and reached his free hand up as if to wrap it around one of the bamboo bars, hesitated, and pulled it back.

Kyo had retreated to the shadows and eyed the Sheep warily. It was obvious that Hiro didn't want to be here. So what was the brat doing? He hadn't even seen the kid since the day…

…the day his beads broke.

"What are you doing here?" said Kyo. Hiro jerked as if he had been electrically shocked and his mouth twisted into a grimace.

"I-I have something that belongs to you," said Hiro and Kyo realized that the kid was shaking. Hiro reached into his pocket and pulled out something small that had entangled itself around his fingers. "I'm sorry," he gulped.

Kyo took a tentative step forward, the small room stretched out for miles in front of him, so far that he could not be certain what he had seen in Hiro's hand. It was too familiar and too foreign, impossible that it could be more than a trick of the mind.

Hiro swallowed and dropped it into Kyo's waiting claws. The beads clattered against the leathery flesh and lay still, glinting red in the fading light.

"Where did you get this?" Kyo said, his voice low and harsh. Weren't they in a thousand pieces, useless cast offs of a charm that could no longer protect him? But this bracelet was complete and unmarred, just holding it he could feel its power seeping into his hand. His flesh tingled as if blood was returning to hands that had long been asleep.

"Akito," said Hiro. "He ordered me to steal them from you that day at Shigure's and replace them with a fake. He said in return… nevermind. He said that if Tohru thought you would never change back to your human form she would leave the Sohmas forever."

"Why…why would he…?"

"I don't know," the greenish tinge had drained from Hiro's face to be replaced by the angry flush of shame. "Why he didn't just order her away himself."

"And you knew…all this time that the bracelet was a fake. So why are you telling me now?"

"Hey, I didn't know it was going to be like this! You're the Cat, you're supposed to get locked up anyway," retorted Hiro, "And Tohru's an outsider, she shouldn't even _be_ here! But…"

"But what?"

"But Kisa is sad that she left, and I think I…" Hiro frowned and looked away, "I can't let this go on. Aren't you going to put it on?"

"No… not yet. I need…to think about some things," said Kyo.

Kyo retreated back into the shadows of the corner, staring at the beads pooled in the palm of his hand, his limbs strangely heavy. Hiro was still talking, his old self returning as his frustration grew, but Kyo took little notice. Maybe someday he'd beat the little snot-nosed brat into the pavement for what he did but right now he just felt…tired.

Everything he had done to save Tohru was suddenly meaningless and the realization was like a crushing weight bearing down on his lungs. He had played right into Akito's hands, certain that he was doing what was best to protect her.

"You're not going to tell Akito, are you?" asked Hiro.

"No," mumbled Kyo.

Hiro's shoulders slumped in relief. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but at the sight of Kyo bent almost in half over the beads he shut it again, his fingers twisting together anxiously. The sun had disappeared behind the horizon and violet clashed with red in the sky. It would not be long before Akito returned. Hiro bowed his head and whispered once more, "I'm sorry," then turned and ran.

* * *

Author Note: I'm so glad to finally have this chapter posted. If you enjoyed it too, please leave a review, I promise it will make me very happy. And when the writer is happy, Kyo gets to be happy (maybe).


	20. Chapter 20

**To Be Human**

Author Note: I thought I'd mention that the ribbon-bound box Hiro opens in Chapter 18 is a reference to the box that supposedly held Akito's father's soul in the manga. The manga implies that opening the box has some connection to the breaking of the curse. I just thought I'd include a reference to the Fruits Basket canon while I continue to diverge from it. I hope that clarifies things somewhat.

I also want to apologize for the delay. As I stated previously, there will be some hiccups in updating as I have run out of completed chapters and have redesigned the remainder of the story. There was supposed to be a chapter about Tohru in here, but it was such a devil to write that I pushed it back a bit. Which, lucky for you, means you don't get the cliffhanger I planned for this week…just the one I had planned to go after it. Also, wasn't working for the past week so I was unable to post this sooner.

And finally, before the note grows longer than the chapter, I want to thank everyone who has read the story so far. This chapter in particular has vexed me for **five years**. I have agonized over it more than any other chapter. I've re-written and revised it over a dozen times and at least five times from scratch. Even now I'm not really satisfied. That being said, I hope that you enjoy it and I will be hovering over my e-mail box all day waiting to read your comments. So please review!

* * *

Shigure stared at his hands, turning them this way and that like an infant struggling to understand their use. It was strange, this sudden emptiness inside. He could no longer feel Akito at the other end of the bond, and yet the bond was still there. His brow creased as he puzzled over this.

Far away he could hear Akito screaming hysterically. She was tearing at his suit, begging him not to go. There was something so heartbreaking about her, so delicate and vulnerable as her dark liquid eyes stared at him with unimaginable fear. He wanted to put his arm around her and tell her it was all right, but the impulse felt somehow strange. It was no longer a compulsion; her pain was no longer attached to his. It was love and only love that moved his hand to her cheek and brushed away the stray tear.

"Shigure?" she whispered.

"It's all right," he replied, his own words sounded far away.

Relief swept her features, replacing the madness of fear, and she reached up to put her arms around him.

Shigure's eyes widened and more by instinct than thought he pressed his palm to her chest and shoved her away. Akito stumbled backwards, catching herself on an empty chair. Her head jerked and she stared at him, stupefied.

"I'm still cursed," he stared solemnly at Akito, "but I'm not bound to you."

"Who?"

Shigure said nothing, but his heart sank as he realized it would not matter. The fear and shock was draining from Akito's face as understanding dawned, contorting her features with rage.

"Tohru Honda," she said. "Where is she? Tell me where she is!" He said nothing and with a snarl she stepped towards him and slapped him with all her strength. Black stars exploded across his vision, obscuring her figure as she stood, towering above him, her chest heaving, her hand poised to strike again.

"I can't let you hurt her," said Shigure calmly. He could taste blood.

"Tell me! I will kill you if you don't tell me!" Akito screamed, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. Shigure reached up and clasped her hands between his.

"Akito, the bond won't let me. I know you're planning to hurt her, but its no use, it has moved. I think…that all of us will soon be moving."

Akito's back stiffened and she wrenched her hand free of his. Her eyes glittered with rage as she stared beyond Shigure, as if she could see Tohru across the miles that separated them. "You won't tell me?" she hissed, "Fine, I know someone who will." With that she abandoned him and strode out of the restaurant, into the night.

* * *

Headlights flashed through the darkness, casting the shadow of the bars across the floor and illuminating the beads still cupped in Kyo's claw. He heard the sound of a car door opening and slamming shut but did not look up. He had not moved since Hiro had left, only sat staring at the bracelet.

What did it mean?

His body trembled uncontrollably at the sight of them. Everything he had endured over the past weeks, everything he had done to Kazuma, Tohru, and Kagura… all because of a broken rosary of beads. But now they were here, coiled in his palm. There was no question that they were real, their energy penetrated his skin just by resting there.

"It was all a lie," he whispered. He had been so convinced of his own weakness and inability to contain the evil of the original form. All because the sacred beads had shattered around his wrist. "Why…?" he could not finish the sentence. He could feel himself choking as the question raced through his thoughts like lightning. Why? Why why _why_? Black stars exploded in his vision. He couldn't breathe.

Why had this happened?

Tohru had left her _home_ because of him. He had said the things he knew would make her abandon him, and she had…but she had left Yuki and Shigure too. Because Akito had somehow known she would leave if he were trapped in this form.

How could someone do something like that? How could they _plan_ it? The horror of it dragged at him, it froze his limbs and lungs until he could only gasp for breath, his eyes open and staring.

"Are you truly so afraid of me, my monster?" Kyo's eyes rolled in their sockets and came to rest on Akito standing in the doorway, a black silhouette against the deeper darkness of the night. "That's good. It will make this easier." Akito's smile stretched like the slash of a knife across his face but his movements were broken and disjointed. There something not quite sane about his eyes. He crouched in front of Kyo, "You will tell me where Tohru Honda is."

At the sound of her name a shudder ripped through Kyo's body and his twisted form doubled over, a whimper tearing free of his throat as one claw came up to clutch at his skull. All he could see was the paleness of her skin the night he had driven her away, the blood welling across her shoulder the night he could not. He could never forgive himself for hurting her like that, for those terrible things he had said to her.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you doing that?" Akito said, irritation mounting in his voice. His hand came up and shoved Kyo's claw away from his face, forcing the boy with the monster's body to look at him. "Tell me where she is."

Kyo's eyes cleared, and for the first time he truly _saw_ Akito. The delicate, almost feminine features sharpened and twisted in malice. A part of him quailed at the sight. The wrath of the god battered at his senses, blanketing his mind with terror. Kyo wanted to obey him; he could feel the memory of the day they had gone to her grandfather's tugging at his mind. The location was poised on his tongue. He ground his teeth together, the sharp fangs screeching against one another with the effort of not speaking.

"_No_," Kyo grated through clenched teeth.

"No?" began Akito, but something stopped him. Kyo had opened his claw and Akito's gaze trailed down the length of the Cat's misshapen arm, coming to rest on the object pooled in his grip. It glistened faintly in the moonlight that streamed through the bars. For a moment, the god of the Zodiac only stared at the beads, as if unable to comprehend their existence. His gaze drifted upward again and met Kyo's.

"_How __**could**__ you?_" snarled Kyo.

Kyo was on his feet, his claw wrapped around Akito's wrist a split second before he turned to flee. The god was jerked backwards and whipped around only to find his face within inches of Kyo's. The stench of a rotting corpse roiled off his body.

"Where did you get those?" Akito said, his breath hitching as he struggled not to gag. His gaze shot to the beads clenched in Kyo's other claw.

"Isn't that what I should be asking you?" answered Kyo. "Why? Why did you do it?" his voice was almost pleading for all that it was harsh with rage. There had to be some other explanation, some _reason_ why someone would inflict so much suffering.

"What right do you have to question me?" said Akito, and gave a tug at Kyo's grip. It held, but the dark wool of his suit tore where the claws were wrapped around it. "Let me go," he ordered.

"No, you can't do this, you can't try to act like this is nothing!" said Kyo. "There has to be a reason why you took them. Please, there has to be a reason. Was it to punish me?"

"Hmph, as if you warranted such an effort."

"Then was as it … really to drive Tohru away?"

Akito studied him, his eyes glittering as he drank in Kyo's misshapen features, as he tried to understand them. Perhaps he found what he was looking for when he said simply, "Yes."

Kyo's vision spun and he quickly closed his eyes. A shudder quaked through his body. Yet his grip on Akito's wrist tightened and came close to drawing blood.

"So it is true," Kyo said. He opened his eyes, leveled his gaze on Akito. Raw disgust and horror hit him in a wave of nausea, "You planned this. You turned me into _this…_ just so you could hurt Tohru enough to leave."

For a moment the naked pain in Kyo's voice seemed to reach Akito, a flinch of something like remorse. But long years of self-justification kicked in by reflex, and Akito's expression quickly became neutral, "Turned you into it?" he crooned, "Turned _you_ into a monster? No, no Kyo I didn't turn you into a monster. You've always been one, and you know it." His voice became louder as he gained momentum, "You depend on that bracelet, the blood and bone of human sacrifice, to give you a normal _shell_ and you say _I_ made _you_ a monster?" Kyo winced as if struck and Akito lunged at the opening, "Isn't that right, Kyo? You can't stay human without that charm. It's not your natural form. All I did was take away your mask."

"_SHUT UP!_" roared Kyo, but he was shaking as if each word had been a dagger to his heart, "I know that, I know! Still--"

Akito pressed on, "I wasn't the one who told her to leave, it's not my fault that she ran away. Don't you see, Kyo? I did you a favor. The girl was going to abandon you anyway. All I did was show you the truth. She accepted you because she thought you were human." A giggle burbled between his lips, "She thought she could _save _you. But after only a few short weeks of you in this form she couldn't take it any more. She ran away from you and all of the Sohmas. She left you."

"No, she didn't-- it wasn't--"

"Yes!" Akito exulted, "She left you, all of you! She couldn't stand you anymore and she never could. When you were all alone she left because she was afraid. Don't you see? She's not special, she's not going to save you _or_ break the curse. She ran away, she's just an ordinary human and she_ ran away_ because she was _scared_." Akito couldn't contain his smirk as he looked down at the Cat. Kyo's whole body had hunched over, folded in on itself as if all the strength had gone from his limbs. The sound of his ragged breathing filled the room like a bellows.

Memories flashed through Kyo's mind. Tohru in the kitchen, smiling as she prepared their meal, her face flushed with happiness. The time he had given her soup when she was sick, though she had protested. _I can see it, on your back_. _It's a plum. _The way she had held him on the first night, close against her as if with her tiny body she could keep him from running away and never coming back. "No. It wasn't her fault. I'm the one who said those things to make her leave, because I knew they would work."

"But that doesn't excuse you," Kyo continued. "You could have sent her away or forbidden Shigure from letting her live with us. Why did it have to be this way? It was cruel," Akito recoiled and opened his mouth for an angry retort but Kyo cut him off with his jerk of his claw, wrenching Akito off balance, "No, no excuses! It was cruel and unnecessary. It was…monstrous. For one human to do that to another on purpose, it's monstrous." Kyo shook his head as if clearing his thoughts and when he spoke again it was slowly, "And I can almost forgive you for taking the bracelet away, and even for bringing me here, if I was the only one who got hurt. Heh, it was going to happen anyway, right? I can take it." He paused, sobered, "But that's not why you did it. It was never about me, or any of the Zodiac getting hurt if Tohru left someday. It was about you, because you hated her and wanted her gone, but you didn't want to get your hands dirty. And just now you were lying to cover it up."

Kyo took a deep breath, "I know… I'm a monster. I get it. And I think maybe…everyone is, a little bit. Or they can be. I just have the form to show it. But you, Akito," he leveled that baleful, inhuman gaze on the god, "are more of a monster than I could ever be. And you don't have a form to show it at all."

Akito's face paled, then flushed with rage, and when he opened his mouth this time to speak what emerged was a shriek so high it was almost feminine, "Me, a monster? How dare you? How _dare_ you speak to me like this? You killed your own mother, you couldn't even _cry_ at her funeral and_ you_ are calling _me_ a monster?" he began to laugh, a low chuckle edged with hysteria, "Oh, that's rich. My Kyo has a wonderful sense of humor!"

But Kyo wasn't laughing, his gaze had not shifted or lost any of its gravity. He was studying Akito, "Yeah, it kind of was my fault, wasn't it?" said Kyo, "Even if I was just a kid."

"So you're admitting it? That you're a murderer?" Akito said, a disbelieving smirk stretching across his face.

"No. It was my fault for believing people like you. For believing them when they told me it was my fault. But I've done bad things and that wasn't one of them, Akito. _It wasn't my fault_." Kyo's eyes widened as he spoke those last words and realized they were true.

He still grasped Akito's wrist in one claw, the tiny bones grinding together under the force of his grip and Akito's struggling. In his other he held the bracelet, the charm of blood and bone that allowed him to be human.

He let the beads slip from his grasp, and they fell with a soft clatter to the floor.

He didn't need them, because he wasn't afraid anymore.

He closed his eyes and breathed in, and remembered that feeling at the edge of the lake when the sun had risen and Tohru had not left his side. He felt the rush and crash of relief as he realized the truth of what he had told Akito.

Calm flowed through his veins to his heart and hands and toes. It crashed through his body in waves, washing away the darkness and pain and fear that had haunted him.

The putrid stench of rot melted away like a nightmare upon waking and for the first time in over a month he felt the night breeze flutter against his skin.

All this between one breath and the next, and as he opened his eyes and stared into Akito's glinting black eyes, gone wide with shock, he saw himself reflected.

Human.

* * *

Author Note: As I stated above, I have been waiting **five years** to post this chapter, no joke. It was one of the earliest ones written and since then it has been re-written at least a half dozen times, sometimes from scratch. To me it's the most important chapter of the story and it had to be as close to perfect as possible. Suffice to say, it was not an easy process, and I would really like to hear your thoughts on this chapter in particular. Please review!


	21. Chapter 21

**To Be Human**

Author Note: I honestly did not expect to have this chapter ready for you, but here it is! And it's all one point of view, yay! It's also a lot more intense than I thought it was going to be... Anyway, please enjoy, and leave a review if you get the chance!

* * *

Akito's gaze followed the bracelet as if clattered free of the monster's claws and struck the ground. Confusion dampened her rage as she watched his eyes close, those eyes that had laid her soul bare, pierced her plans and machinations, and had been utterly disgusted. She had seen herself reflected in them, a loathsome crawling thing of darkness. There had been no pity there, nor love or awe. Even the monster of the Zodiac could not understand her, or care for her or bother to know why she had done it. _I am not so strong as you think!_ the child in her screamed. I am not as strong as the that girl Shigure took in, with her shining eyes and caring smiles. I must fight from the shadows so you do not hate me, but her.... It all comes so easily to her, you all love her so effortlessly. But I cannot understand, I was not taught how to earn love and I don't know how to keep it. Please, try to understand me. You must love me because I do not know how to love myself. And please, please, do not leave me!

But Kyo's eyes were closed, and those beads lay on the floor because he no longer needed another human's sacrifice to protect himself from his own darkness. Or from hers. In that black space within her, where now only eleven chords stretched into the distance, she could feel something happening inside of Kyo. The darkness was breaking free around his heart like ice during a thaw, except the light came from within, and it was brighter than any sun. It washed down the bond they shared, and Akito gasped as relief so strong it brought tears to her eyes almost dropped her to her knees.

_What have I done? _she thought. There was so much light here, where she had spread only darkness, pouring her anger and fear like sludge into pure water. She had stopped this brightness, _she_ had hurt her Cat, her own Zodiac, until he had almost died under the weight of her pain. How close had she come to losing him?

Her vision blurred with unshed tears, so that for a moment the original form and Kyo seemed to hover within the same space. Then the twisted monster dissipated and flowed free of Kyo's body as though the boy was stepping free of a nightmare. The stench of the grave dissipated and the vice-like grip around her wrist was replaced by the soft, but firm grip of human flesh. She could feel the bruises that were already beginning to form in the shape of the original form's claw, and patches of her suit was soaked with blood where the wool and the fragile skin beneath it had been pierced. Kyo opened his eyes, no longer that inhuman shade of violet, and stared into hers. His forehead gleamed with a faint sheen of sweat and his copper hair stuck to it in places. He was naked to the waist, and the khakis he had worn during his imprisonment in the Cat's House hung loosely on his hips. She had never seen him so thin, the outline of his ribs and hips clearly visible, it had been impossible to tell how much weight he had lost in the original form. And yet there was no weakness in his stance or expression, instead he seemed to burn from within.

She had never seen him so strong.

"How…how did you…?" defeat that darkness, she wanted to ask. How did you take the dregs of the horror inside me and turn it into light? But she could see he did not understand, his face was twisted as if he was looking at a particularly loathsome insect.

"What does it matter to you?" he said with utter contempt. Her wrist stung as he released it, practically flinging it from his grasp as if touching her made him ill. She clutched the bruised wrist to her chest, and her vision cleared as the hot tears slipped free of her eyes.

Kyo took a step forward and she saw his knees buckle, his shoulders shake as he fell into a half-crouch, then the stiffening of his body as he forced himself upward, as he made himself to stand like a human. She hadn't realized how tall he had become. He barely spared a glance down at her as he began to walk past, towards the open door.

"Where are you going?" He turned. There was no regard for her in his gaze, his face was shuttered. His eyes were like those of Kureno but worse because she knew he was still bound to her and it didn't matter. He just didn't care about her at all, not even enough to fear her.

"I'm leaving. I'm going find Tohru and apologize to her for what I did. And then I'm going to tell her and everyone else the truth," he said.

She could hear the unsaid words. He was going to leave her here, drowning in the darkness of this prison meant for monsters. Then he was going to take everyone else away from her. He was going to bring them all with him to that girl, to Tohru Honda.

And there was no guilt there anymore, no weapons or weaknesses left for her to exploit. There was no love to call on, and there never had been, not for her. There had only been fear and awe, and they were both gone. He would tell them, and one by one they would abandon her, they would hate her and they would go to that Honda bitch just like Shigure.

Just like Shigure…

For the first time since she had left him at the restaurant, Akito felt that gaping emptiness like a wound inside her. It was real, her most precious person was gone and there was no reason for him to come back. _Shigure…_

_I think…that all of us will soon be moving._

She clutched at herself, twisting her arms around her torso. She felt as if she would fly to pieces with a breath. It was all falling apart, and she was going first. They would all leave her and she would be alone in the ruins of herself. And there would be no comfort for her, no comfort for the little girl who had been born a god and had never been told how to be human. Here the end would begin, as soon as the Cat stepped out of his prison.

_No, NO, __**NO**__!_

_It can't end this way!_

Kyo was staring at her, his hands poised as if he meant to come to her side. At some point she had fallen to her knees, and her face was inches from the floor, her arms wrapped in a vice around her body. She still could not be sure she wouldn't fall apart.

"You will not leave," Akito growled into the floor. Her head snapped up and she glared at him. "Do you hear me? _You will __**not**__ leave me!_"

Kyo recoiled and she felt the sharp pulse of alarm that shot across the bond.

She surged to her feet and reached to snap her fingers around his throat. Kyo dodged easily, long years of training overpowering his shock, but it did not matter. She had not expected to reach him.

No, she had meant to _show _him.

With a snarl she poured her fear, her pain, and her terrible loneliness down the bond. Let him see, let him understand! Was there anything more terrible than being a god amongst humans? What horror could compete with that terrible solitude? He would see that his suffering was only a fraction of what she endured there, at the heart of the Curse.

With an answering howl, Kyo collapsed to the floor clutching at his heart. Violet flashed in his eyes and gobs of flesh oozed beneath the skin of his face. One hand scraped at the ground as the familiar contortions raced down his spine and swelled his fingers to claws.

"It was you!" Kyo choked. Another spasm tore a cry from his throat and he fell to all fours, groaning against the agony of the transformation. "You…did this the first day…to make me change," he gasped. "How?"

"What does it matter to you?" Akito snapped. "You think that becoming human for a few minutes changes anything? You are still the Cat, you are still destined to spend your life imprisoned in this house." She stumbled to her feet, grasping at the doorframe to steady herself. "That Honda bitch is never going to know what happened here. I will find her, and Hatori will wipe her memories." Kyo groaned as her rage joined the torrent of emotions pouring down the bond and over as the transformation distended his limbs. "Then you will all stay with me. You will not leave me once she's forgotten you!"

"Leave…her alone," Kyo wheezed, "It's not…her fault."

"Shut up! It is her fault, without her none of you would have left me. Everything will be better with her—" Akito gasped as pain like a thunderbolt tore through her. The bond! It was quivering like a struck harp string and with each ounce of rage she poured down it towards Kyo she could feel it fraying, threatening to snap. "—gone," she whispered, staring into nothingness.

She stopped her onslaught and Kyo fell bonelessly to his side. He was gasping for breath and she could see the small cuts in his arm where his extending claws had dug in to fight the pain. He pushed himself weakly to his hands and knees, one partially-transformed hand scrabbling blindly until it came to rest on the bracelet. He wrapped his tremblings fingers around it collapsed to the floor.

Akito tentatively reached out within her mind to the eleventh chord. It was still there, frail, but there. What had happened? Had her emotional attack somehow damaged it? Had she almost lost him too?

She looked down as Kyo mumbled something incoherent. Yes, he was still conscious. She could dimly feel the pulse of anger on the other end of his bond. He was trying to force it down even now, and the fear for the girl's memories that came with it. He struggled to keep from transforming, fighting the need to put on the bracelet and stop the onslaught that now came from within. Bit by bit the features of the original form began to fade, the spine straighten, the limbs return to their normal size.

Akito backed away from him, stepping out of the Cat's House into the night air. With shaking hands she closed the door and began to slide the bolts one by one. When she finished locking the door she could not help but wrap a slim white hand around the bars and watch her Cat as he whimpered into his arms, fighting down the monster inside him.

"Put the bracelet on, Kyo," she said, unable to keep the sorrow from her voice as she remembered that brief moment when he had glowed from within and filled her with that incredible sense of peace. The light was dimmed now, tarnished once again by his brush with the original form and the drumming fear in his heart for that damned girl.

"No," he rasped. He remained face down and she had to strain to hear him. "I can beat this, and you."

"Are you really so strong, my Cat? That bracelet is far more powerful than you are at restraining monsters," said Akito.

"Then maybe you should wear it," Kyo growled, pushing himself onto his hands and knees. Only his eyes still showed the transformation, with their slit pupils and violet glow. But even as Akito watched they darkened again to maroon and the pupils rounded to circles. Kyo's knuckles were white where they clenched the beads but he made no move to put them on. He shot a savage grin at Akito.

She bristled. What good was it caring for the wretched beast if he was just going to fling her concern back in her face? "Smile all you want, Kyo, but I _will_ find the Honda girl, and I will have her memories erased. Perhaps you should be careful about what you say to the other Zodiac members, in case I should decide to do something worse. And I will know. Believe me, I will know," said Akito and swept away from the door.

She had only gone a few steps when the screaming began. She did not turn to look, she could feel the fury like a forest fire on the other end of the bond, hear the alien tones of the original form fade in and out of the human howl of pure rage, the pounding as Kyo began to hammer and claw at the door of the Cat's House.

Akito clenched her hands to ears and ran.

* * *

Author Note: So…this chapter surprised me. A lot. I didn't expect Akito's remorse (or her nervous breakdown) and I did not expect the rather disturbing turn of Kyo's fluctuating transformations. I like it though, because I'm a terrible person. It's also worth noting that in the very earliest drafts the story ended around here, with Kyo leaving the Cat's House. Then Akito reminded me that she would never allow that to happen. I think the story will be better this way. However, the end is beginning and action is going to pick up, but that doesn't mean it will all be sunshine and roses. Oh no, not yet.

If you liked the chapter, please review! I know for a fact that only about 1 in 100 readers bothers to leave a comment, and this makes me a sad panda. I would dearly love to hear your thoughts on the story, especially if you haven't had the chance to do so yet.


	22. Chapter 22

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Sorry for the delay, I truly did intend to have this chapter up a couple Fridays ago. But unfortunately for TBH, I had a stroke of good fortune and was hired by a company in Boston after 8 months of searching. Everything has been a bit off-kilter since then but I'll try to get back to updating TBH regularly. However, this will likely be every two weeks now rather than every week, though if a chapter is ready in time for a weekly update, I'll post it. I just thought I'd let everyone know rather than let you guys down.

On an unrelated note, I'm interested in commissioning a cover picture for To Be Human. Any artists out there reading this can message me in a review (must be signed or include e-mail) or directly through my profile. The picture I would like is inspired by manga chapter 352 of Bleach, I'd like a version of the portrait of Ichigo, only with Kyo and the original form.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Please enjoy the latest chapter!

* * *

There was something strange about Tohru when she appeared in the hallway, still wearing her apron from working in the kitchen. An aura of sorts that hung about her like a second shadow that simultaneously pushed and pulled at Kagura. She felt the need to be closer to Tohru, yet at the same time a deep, irrational impulse to feel awe for the girl. It was ridiculous, and yet a chill crept up her spine. She had come here planning to slap some sense into the girl, but her limbs were frozen and, when Tohru's eyes widened at the sight of her, she found herself bowing politely.

"Tohru, its good to see you," Kagura said as she bowed. Tohru took a step back and for a moment Kagura wondered if the girl was going to run from her like Kyo always did.

"Kagura, what are you doing here?" said Tohru. Her aunt stood behind her, eyeing the two girls suspiciously. Kagura's gaze flickered to her, and then back Tohru. She forced herself to grin.

"What do you think, silly? I came to see you," Kagura said brightly. "Now, where's your room? I haven't seen you in forever, we have so much to talk about!" she said as she dragged the other girl down the hall before she could protest. "Is this it?" Kagura pushed a random door open to reveal a western style bed and a futon side by side.

"Yes, but Kagura what's going on?" protested Tohru as she was dragged inside and pulled down to sit beside Kagura on the bed. "And we shouldn't be sitting here, this is my cousin's bed."

"Never mind that," said Kagura. She slammed the door then settled down to face Tohru. She had to bite her lip to keep from exclaiming over the other girl's wan appearance. She was sickeningly pale and dark circles like bruises stained the skin beneath her eyes. It struck Kagura that, were Kyo human, this is how he would have looked that first day she visited the Cat's house. "Tohru, you need to go back."

Tohru pulled away as if burned, her eyes wide and wild like an animal on the verge of flight. "No, Kagura, I…I can't."

Kagura felt the first surges of her temper fighting to break free, "Why not?" she snapped, more harshly than she intended. Tohru's face whitened and she bowed her head, her shoulders beginning to shake. Kagura mentally slapped herself, took a deep breath, and changed tactics, "What happened, Tohru?"

Tohru's lips quivered and she took several deep, gulping breaths, "I…he…Oh, Kagura!" it all came out in a rush. How she and Kazuma had gone to find Kyo alone in the Cat's House, claiming he had gone there of his own free will. They had been unable to convince him to come out, even when Akito had opened the door for them…

"Akito was there?" Kagura said sharply, and Tohru nodded but did not seem concerned. Why would she be? Neither Kazuma nor Tohru fully understood the terror and awe the Zodiac felt for their god. For that matter, Tohru probably did not even know Akito _was_ the god.

Tohru went on, her voicing breaking as she told Kagura Kyo's words to her, how he had rejected the promise they had made to one another the first time he transformed in front of her. Kagura could barely make out the end as Tohru dissolved into tears, "A-and he said it's too p-painful to be around me. I was hurting him, Kagura! I-I don't even know how, I was just trying to help….W-what am I supposed to do? H-how am I supposed to help any of the Sohmas if I can't help h-him? He's…he…."

Kagura placed a tentative arm around Tohru's shoulder and pulled the girl to her, ignoring the leaden weight in her heart. This girl was her rival for Kyo, but even as Kagura knew that she might lose him her, she also knew it was the only chance to save him.

"Once upon a time…" Kagura began. Tohru's sniffles died down, though the occasional hiccupping sob escaped as she quieted to listen. "A little girl met a boy drawing fried eggs in the dirt. She felt bad for him…no, she pitied him, so she asked him to play. She was happy around him, because he made her realize how much better her life was by comparison." Kagura closed her eyes, remembering, "One day, they were playing in a park and she noticed the bracelet he was wearing. She wanted to see it, so she begged him to take it off. He refused, but she took it anyone, even though she knew he was afraid. And then…"

"He transformed," said Tohru, as faint as an echo.

Kagura nodded. "I ran away. I was frightened, and a child, I didn't know any better. I didn't know that I was the first person to abandon him, but I wouldn't be the last. That day he learned that there were people who would fear him for who he was, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. That day he learned to be afraid of rejection. So as he grew up he pushed others away before they could leave him. He believed that if he succeeded, then he had protected himself from the pain of their rejection, and if he failed then maybe they would stay. But he didn't fail often, and there was always the original form. Kazuma was the only person who knew about the original form and didn't reject him.

"Until you, Tohru." Tohru looked up. Her face were puffy from crying, and tear droplets still clung to her lashes, "You ran _to_ him. You did what I was never able to do, even though I tried for years after that first mistake. You reached him, and you showed him that he was worth running after." Kagura fought down her own sniffle, "I was such a fool, Tohru. All these years I've been trying to make up for that _stupid_ little girl who ran away. But I can't. No matter how many times I run to him, or hug him, or show him how much I love him it won't make up for that first time. Which is why _you_ have to go back."

"But Kagura, what am I supposed to do? I'm just…He told me to leave.…"

"Don't you see?" Kagura said bitterly, "That's _why_ you have to go back. You have to remind him that he's worth going back to. And I can't do that." _You're the one who matters to him now_, Kagura thought, _you're his most precious person. Not me. _

_And I never will be._

There was a long pause as Tohru stared into distance and Kagura held her breath. Had she been wrong? Was she giving the other girl too much credit?

Finally Tohru shook her head. "No, I won't."

Kagura's head jerked up and she stared aghast at Tohru. The other girl's eyes were flinty, and her jaw was tensed. "What?"

"Don't _you_ see? Running after Kyo right now isn't going to fix anything. And anyway, he doesn't deserve it," Kagura's mouth dropped open. "No, he needs to apologize to me first for what he did. Otherwise I won't… no, I _can't_ forgive him."

"But…Tohru, how is he supposed to do that? He's locked in the Cat's House!" sputtered Kagura.

"Well, I guess that means I'll have to go make him apologize myself, doesn't it?" Tohru said. Kagura blinked, then slowly a grin tugged at her lips. With a laugh she jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around Tohru, twirling her around with her not inconsiderable strength.

"Ah! Kagura, wha-?" Tohru exclaimed.

"I knew I could count on you!" Kagura said, depositing Tohru on the ground. "We should go tonight. Oh…but its still early, we'll wait till everyone asleep."

"And then?" said Tohru.

"And then we'll find Kyo, and make that jerk apologize!" Kagura said with a laugh, and some of the weight in her heart lifted.

* * *

Hatori had just finished the last of his paperwork, and was looking forward to a rare chance to retire early, when the summons arrived from Akito. The girl who brought the message was in no rush, so it was clearly not an emergency, but there was a wideness to her eyes that spoke of fear. Hatori had learned to read all those little signs in the many years he had served the volatile god. He thanked the girl and dismissed her, then threw on a dress shirt and slacks before grabbing his doctor's bag. Akito had gone out with Shigure earlier that evening, likely the fool had said something to upset her and she had felt the need to vent her frustrations.

But when Hatori arrived at Akito's audience chamber he paused at the door and inclined his head to the rice paper screen. Akito was speaking and after a moment Kureno chimed a response. It seemed the two were in deep conversation. Akito's voice rose and fell erratically.

"…and if the Honda girl is found _anywhere _on the estate I want her brought to me _immediately_ to have her memories erased!" she said.

"Yes, Akito," said Kureno, in a tone that suggested this was not the first time she had made this point.

Hatori's veins turned to ice. Something had happened. For whatever reason, Akito had changed her mind on the matter of Tohru Honda. With a heavy heart he slid the door to Akito's chamber open and stepped into the room.

Akito did not lie upon the dais as usual. Though Kureno knelt in his customary place to the side, Akito paced back and forth across the room. Her motions were tight and violent, like a caged animal. She turned at the sound of Hatori's entrance and a grim smile spread across her face.

"Hatori," she said, "It certainly took you long enough to arrive."

"It is getting late, Akito, I had already preparing for bed, as should you," said Hatori.

Akito waved dismissively, and a flash of rusted brown caught Hatori's attention. Old blood ringed Akito's wrist and had dried in streaks down her hand. The cuff of her suit was in tatters and he would bet there was more blood hidden beneath the black wool.

"Akito, what have you done?" he said, taking a step forward and placing a gentle hand on her arm.

She jerked away, reaching to cup the injured wrist to her chest, "It's nothing, and none of your concern," she said. A shadow flitted her face.

"Will you at least let me treat it?"

She did not respond at first, only studied him as if to read further intent into his offer. Then she nodded absently and allowed him to guide her to the washroom in her bedroom. He cast one last glance at Kureno as they walked. The former Rooster gazed back without expression.

Once they reached the washroom, Hatori turned the knob on the sink and warm water splashed into the bowl. Then with great care he began to peel back the tattered layers of cloth that hung about Akito's thin wrist. The wool stuck to the wound in patches, and at these spots he was careful to make the process as painless as possible. Not that Akito cared; she was staring at the wall away from her injured wrist, her lips twisted in annoyance.

Hatori's eyes narrowed as the extent of the wound was revealed. Four slashes stretched across the top of her forearm in a row from wrist to elbow. Another slash ran horizontally on the underside of her arm. The suit had obviously prevented some of the damage to her flesh, but more than anything the gashes resembled those from a dull knife. And yet there were already traces of yellow bruising around the cuts, so obviously a great deal of pressure had been applied when the wounds were made, for the coloration to have begun so soon. The bleeding had mostly ceased, though a trickle welled again as he washed the dried blood away. The damage was recent, he observed, but there had been time for coagulation.

Something had happened since he had seen Akito earlier this afternoon. He had known she was going out with Shigure, which was strange in and of itself, but he could not bring himself to believe this was the Dog's doing. Never mind the lack of means, Shigure simply did not have the temperament to mutilate any girl like this, let alone Akito.

"Akito, did you do this to yourself?" he said.

"Of course not," she replied, still looking away. Hatori breathed an inward sigh of relief, and began to wrap the wound with bandages from his bag. "It was the Cat."

Hatori's hands jerked and Akito let out a hiss of pain as the bandage drew tight around her arm. He murmured an apology and finished wrapping the bandage while his mind stumbled from question to question. He finally settled on the one he did not fear asking Akito, "Has the boy become…unstable?"

Akito was silent as she moved her arm in a slow circle, testing the bandages, then nodded to herself and began to walk back to the audience chamber. "He is disobedient, as always," she said without looking back at him. "Do not concern yourself with him. He is not to have visitors until the Banquet is held, and there he is to be restrained if he will not behave."

Hatori stopped. "Banquet?" he said, "He's not to have visitors until the New Year?"

Akito turned, a beatific smile lighting up her face, "No, my Dragon. There will be another Banquet much sooner. It will be a great Banquet, the last Banquet, when all of the Zodiac will be returned to me. There we will renew our bonds and be together, forever."

Hatori's undamaged eye widened, "And when… is this Banquet to be held, Akito?" he said, struggling to keep his voice calm.

Her smile widened, took on an edge of something harder, sharper.

"In three days."

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Authore Note: Kagura's "story" is paraphrased from manga chapter 68.

God, it was such a relief to write something _cheerful_ in this story. Too bad I had to go and spoil it right after. As always, please review!


	23. Chapter 23

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Sorry for the delay, this turned into another one of those constant-rewrite chapters. I waffled back and forth between whose POV should open the chapter and then wrote a few very bland and confused attempts before this one. On the up side, the chapter is double the normal length so I hope you enjoy it! Reviews are always adored and frequently re-read, so please leave one if you have a bit of time.

* * *

"In three days."

She could still hear the screaming inside her head, though hours had past, though the boy had probably given up in his struggle. It was the sound of his fear for the girl that goaded her, enraged her, and made a part of her curl up in fear as it went on unceasing. Even the pain of her torn wrist couldn't drag her mind free of the sound, coupled with the pounding of his mutating fist on the door that echoed the pounding of the blood in her ears as she cursed and raged at Kureno, setting her orders for Tohru Honda's capture in place while her heart raced with the need to go faster, faster, faster.

A banquet. Yes, but not just any banquet, _the _Banquet. Invoked by the god, carrying all the power of binding that had brought the Zodiac together at the beginning, untold centuries ago. She had been so foolish, so _human_ to forget the power that rested inside of her. She had resorted to mere subterfuge and theft to carry out her goals.

_You are a special existence_.

_For one human to do that to another… monstrous._

_A form to show it…_

She rage in her heart smoldered. How dare he…but no, no this was no cause for anger. There was no purpose in becoming angry with fools, even fools who had stumbled upon the truth. Because she wasn't human and, to the limited understanding of one such as Kyo, perhaps she did appear to be a monster. How else was a human to understand the ways of a god?

And she had forgotten this, forgotten that she was a god. She had struggled to rid herself of her rival; she had worked from the shadows, hoping that a series of chances would do the job for her. How stupid! The Cat had been right in that respect as well. It was within her right to order the girl away, but instead she had concerned herself with the _feelings_ of her Zodiac. She had feared their anger if she were to exercise her power too directly and she had paid the price for her weakness. The emptiness where Shigure should be ached liked a missing limb.

No, no, no, she would bring him back, and Kureno, and any other Zodiac who thought they could leave her. She would bring them all together and bind them tighter than before. Then all would be as it once was, an unending Banquet. Together. Changeless.

But first, to be rid of the Honda girl as she should have done long before.

Her gaze focused as she studied Hatori for his reaction, though she did not need to see his face to feel his fear and reluctance. She had been blind to this as well, to the extent of the cancer eating away at the hearts of her Zodiac. For a moment the Cat's cries were replaced by the higher, shriller cry of a child as she begged, _Don't leave me!_ She silenced the voice. There would be no more room for weakness. What did it matter if the Dragon resisted her? It was only temporary. Come the Banquet, he would have no choice.

Until then Kyo's screams would continue to echo in her mind, his rage over the girl whose memories she would destroy. It was a rage she knew would be echoed by the rest of her Zodiac when the time came. They had never felt that kind of passion for her, not even at their most fearful had they raged on her behalf, or against it. Those screams would only die when the girl was gone, and the doors of Sohma House closed for good.

She turned and opened the doors to the audience chamber. A man stood before Kureno, a cap clutched in his hand as he spoke in a low, insistent whisper. Kureno nodded and took notes. She vaguely recognized the other man, one of the many faceless Sohmas that came and went around the estate, Sohmas that must be tolerated and supported for the gene pool that would produce the next reincarnations of the Zodiac.

"Lord Akito, this is Hideki Sohma. I acted on a hunch while you were gone. As you may recall, he was the man who drove Tohru Honda to her grandfather's house," said Kureno. Hideki bowed low.

Akito's blood surged and the screaming intensified. So close! "And you know the address?" she said.

"Yes, my lord," said Hideki with another nervous bow, "Would you like me to fetch her?"

Yes! Yes, yes, yes…but no, no this must be handled carefully. And she must know… "No, the address alone will be sufficient. You are dismissed." Hideki bowed again and left the room. "Hatori?" she said, with a glance over her shoulder at her Dragon. He stood in the doorway to her chambers, one hand in a white-knuckled grip on his medical bag the other clutching the door frame to steady himself. His features were otherwise impassive. That was her Dragon, so controlled, so deceptive, that he could keep the surging panic that poured through the bond from showing on his face. "Hatori, I would like you to go fetch the Honda girl."

More panic. Resignation so powerful that he could not keep it from his voice, "Very well, Lord Akito."

"Here, Hatori. I want you to perform the hypnosis in front me. Tonight," she said.

"Is it really necessary to bring her all the way back to Sohma House?"

Two steps had her in front of him, her fingers tangled in his collar, wrenching his face down to inches from hers. She could kiss him from here, or bite him, "Do you think you can trick me so easily, Hatori?" she hissed, "Do you think I'm a fool? Yes, bring her here. I want to watch the light fade from her eyes. I want to be there when she looks at you for the first time and doesn't know you. Only then will I be sure."

His single visible eye flickered and looked away as he tried to break the intensity of her gaze but she jerked her hand, wrenched him back, "You don't want to? You will allow her to continue on, like that fiancé of yours? Always regretting that she could not pull you away from me? How cruel," Akito said disdainfully. She felt Hatori stiffen and she leaned in for the kill, placing her lips to the shell of his ear, "The truth is, it will be a kindness," she whispered, "You will _free_ her from our shadow." He shuddered, almost imperceptibly, and nodded.

"Very well, I will do it," he said.

"I know."

* * *

Tohru's fingers knotted and wove together nervously as she stared out the window of Kagura's car and watched the street lamps flit by. The other girl chattered about how they were going to sneak in, sticking to shadows, and oh! maybe a crowbar for the door. Tohru listened with a half an ear, remembering that they wouldn't need anything to pry the door open. It was unlocked anyway; Kyo could leave any time he wanted.

It was just that he didn't.

Doubts plagued her now that the initial euphoria had worn off. She had felt very brave telling Kagura that she would force Kyo to apologize but really what right did she have to do such a thing? What if Kyo really didn't want to be chased? She could see herself standing before him, imperiously demanding an apology, and he would look up with those blazing violet eyes and say… no.

Her fingers twisted tighter, turning white with the pressure. Outside the houses were thinning as they traveled further into the suburbs. Soon they would reach the Sohma Estate, with its dozens of servants and guards. How were they going to sneak Kyo past all of them, even if he did want to come? Would he fit in the car? Where would they take him? She closed her eyes pressed her forehead to the glass of the window, trying to force her thoughts into a straight line.

"Tohru?" said Kagura. She reached over and placed a hand on Tohru's arm, shaking her gently.

_Concern. Fear. Excitement. Apprehension. Beneath it all a little knot of jealousy, wrapped in acceptance. Tohru was sitting outside of herself, watching as a white hand was placed on her own arm. Through it all ran a cord stretching into the distance, tugging and twisting. Tohru reached for it despite herself, plucked at it, felt its tautness begin to give, just a little harder and it would come loose…_

Tohru's eyes flew open and she jerked away from Kagura with a gasp.

"Tohru? What's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing! I must have fallen asleep," she said in a rush, shaking her head to banish the images, the disorientation seeing herself from outside herself. It must have been a dream, though she hadn't thought she had fallen asleep. What else could it be? For some reason she had been dreaming of cords lately, lines and ties, all different colors, stretching away, loosening, coming into her hand one by one.

She shivered.

"Well you'd better wake up now because we're here," said Kagura. She pressed a button clipped onto the visor and spun the wheel. A multi-car garage opened before them, the headlights piercing the darkness, illuminating several other parked cars. They came to a stop and sat for a moment in the silence as Kagura switched off the lights and the engine.

"We're going to have to be quiet, I'm not supposed to be driving my dad's car this late. The door's up ahead, just grab my hand and I'll lead you," Kagura whispered. Tohru nodded, though Kagura probably couldn't make out the motion in the darkness.

Once outside, Tohru groped blindly for Kagura's hand and tried not to jump as the other's girl's strong grip closed around hers.

"This way," Kagura whispered and began to weave her way between the cars.

As Tohru's eyes adjusted to the darkness, she was able to make out the outline of the door ahead, and the shadow of Kagura before her. The other girl reached for the doorknob, her hands just closing around it when it jerked of its own accord, twisted, and opened.

Someone flipped a switch, flooding the garage with light and blinding Tohru. She squinted, dazzled, and just barely able to make out a familiar figure in the doorway. "Hatori?"

The man jerked back and when his gaze fell on Tohru he turned deathly white. For a moment they stood there, Kagura's grip tightening around Tohru's hand as they stared at Hatori.

"You fools," he whispered, his voice grating like sandpaper on skin, "What are you doing here?" Tohru exchanged a glance with Kagura, who pressed her lips together and shook her head. He glanced between the two of them, the skin around his eye tightening. "You came to free Kyo, didn't you?"

"Hari..." Kagura began.

"Quiet," Hatori barked, and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm assuming this was your idea?" he said. Tohru almost jumped at the anger in his voice. He glared at the Boar, only to be stared down in turn.

"Kyo needs her, Hari," said Kagura. "You know what will happen if he keeps on like this."

"So you brought Tohru _here_?" he pointed a shaking hand at Tohru. "Do you have any how much danger she is in? Akito wants her memories wiped, all of them, from the day she met Shigure and Yuki!"

Kagura wrenched Tohru back, putting herself between her and Hatori. "And you're just going to do it?"

"Do you think I have a choice in the matter?" Hatori retorted. "They are Akito's orders."

"But why?" Both Kagura and Hatori turned to look at Tohru. She pulled her hand free of Kagura's and stepped around her, staring up to meet Hatori's gaze. "Why do you have to do it?" She glanced between Kagura and Hatori. Kagura had looked away. "Why do you have to obey Akito?"

"She doesn't know, Hari," said Kagura.

"And there's no reason she should," said Hatori, "It would be a mercy if I did it here, he's less likely to hurt her if she doesn't recognize us."

"As opposed to what? You were going to drag her in front of him and do it there, for that bastard's sick amusement?" said Kagura. Her eyes widened as he nodded, "He wants to watch?"

"He wants to be sure," said Hatori.

"But why now? Why has he suddenly changed his mind?" said Kagura.

"I don't know. But that's not all. He has decided to hold the Banquet, Kagura," said Hatori. Kagura gasped, "This…this will be a kindness to Miss Honda. Its better that she won't miss us once we're gone."

"Gone?" echoed Tohru, and looking over her shoulder saw Kagura's stricken expression.

"So you must understand now that, while I admire your efforts to help Kyo, it is ultimately pointless," said Hatori. Kagura stumbled back and sagged against the hood of one of the cars.

"Hatori, what are you talking about? What kind of Banquet is this, and why can Akito force you to attend? Isn't he…isn't he one of the animals of the Zodiac, just like you?"

"Tell her, Hari," said Kagura.

Hatori looked at her and sighed. After a long pause he finally spoke, "No, he is not."

"Then what…?" said Tohru.

"Akito is the center of the Curse, the controller of our destinies," said Hatori. "The god of the Zodiac."

_Once upon a time, god told all the animals…_

_God. _

The blood drained from Tohru's face, "And this final Banquet…where will you all be going?"

"Here, most likely," said Hatori, "The final Banquet is when all of the Zodiac members are brought together to live out the their lives in the company of the god, cut off from the rest of the world. In three days, the doors of the Sohma Estate will be closed to all outsiders and we Zodiac will be forbidden to leave." There was no distress in his voice as he spoke; he might as well have been discussing the weather.

No, that couldn't be true. No one could be happy to be imprisoned, to leave the world behind.

_Not even Kyo…_

"Tohru, stay away from him!" shouted Kagura, jumping to her feet as Tohru took a step forward, so she was standing toe-to-toe with Hatori. He stared down at her impassively; his hand remained at his side. Very slowly she raised her fingers to his cheek, pressing her palm against the side of his face. He flinched, as if anticipating blow.

"And is that what you want?" she said, looking into his eyes as if she could stare down them into his soul, "To be taken away from the world?"

Hatori opened his mouth to speak, to tell her that he had no choice in the matter, that they were bound to Akito irrevocably. It didn't matter that no one had asked him what he wanted, that no one had ever asked him…. With horror he realized eyes burned and his throat was closing up. He reached up to pull Tohru's hand away. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, she wasn't supposed to soothe him while he threatened to take away everything she loved. But as his hand closed around hers he found he couldn't let go and that he was clutching at her hand like a lifeline, "No," he said roughly as his vision began to blur. He turned his face into her hand, "No, it isn't what I want."

She felt the first hot tears against her hand and reached up with her other arm, wrapping it loosely around his shoulders, too lightly to trigger the Curse. After a moment he coughed, clearing his throat, and pulled away. "Hatori…"

"You need to get out of here," he rasped. "Don't go to your grandfather's, or Shigure's, Akito knows those locations. You'll have to hide somewhere until the Banquet is over, then maybe Akito will lose interest." He pulled several pristine yen from the wallet in his back pocket, "This should get you a taxi and a pay phone. Call Kazuma, he should be able to help you."

"What? But Hatori, what about you?" said Tohru.

"I'll tell Akito that you weren't at your grandfather's. It is the truth after all," said Hatori. "I'll be fine."

"That's not what I meant," she said, grabbing at his arm.

"Don't worry about us, Miss Honda," he said, with a small smile, clasping a hand around hers, "Our lives won't change all that much. And I'll be happy knowing that there's someone outside who still remembers us."

_He looks so peaceful_, Tohru realized. Even Kagura wasn't making any move to run away. They had accepted it. _Is it because Akito is the god? _she wondered, _Then what right do I have to try to stop them? Am I just interfering? _But she remembered the tears hidden against hand, the unspoken words between them. No one had ever asked…

No one had ever asked if they wanted to be in the Zodiac, and now she realized too how much Akito was controlling their lives. How afraid Yuki had been to see the god in the schoolyard, how Hatori was now making a visible effort to let her go. No one asked, no one cared, and soon they would all be locked away like Kyo, for the rest of their lives. Stopped, unable to move forward as humans. All because they were part of the Zodiac.

"No!" Hatori and Kagura looked up at Tohru's shout. Her fist was clenched while her other hand clutched Hatori's arm in a death grip. "This isn't right."

"Tohru, it doesn't matter if its right or wrong," said Hatori, "It's simply the nature of the Curse."

"Then I'll break it!" Hatori and Kagura stared at Tohru, "Don't you see? This is wrong, they're _your_ lives. Akito…Akito has no right to do this!" Tohru stopped, taken aback by the expression on the two Zodiac member's faces. Had she really said all that?

"And how do you intend to do that?" Hatori.

"I- I don't know," said Tohru.

"Shigure has been trying since he was a teenager, with no success. And he's not the only Zodiac member to have made the attempt," said Hatori, "It's best if you give up hope on the matter, it will consume your life and cause you only misery. I do not say this to be cruel," he added at her stricken expression, "Your concern is touching, but I can vouch for all of us when I say we would rather you escape here and live your life to the fullest, on behalf of those who cannot."

"He's right, Tohru," said Kagura. "You need to get away. I shouldn't have brought you here in the first place."

"But what about Kyo?" said Tohru, "Are you going to give up on him too?"

"Do you think it will make him happy to know you've had your memory erased?" said Kagura fiercely.

"But Kagura…"

"Just go!" shouted Kagura, "Get away from here. Run, hide, do whatever you need to do to stay away from Akito. He's dangerous, and if he wants you gone," she swallowed, and Tohru could see the fear in her eyes, "then he'll find away to hurt you if he finds you."

"But I can't let you all be locked away!" said Tohru.

"There's nothing you can do to stop it," said Hatori, "If Akito has made up his mind then we are bound by his will. This is more than just an order, Tohru, this _is_ the Curse."

"But why? What is the Curse?" said Tohru desperately.

"None of us know. All we can do is study its effects, but if there is an answer it's been lost to the centuries," said Hatori, "And I've already kept you here too long. Get out of here and follow the road back into town, there will be a pay phone in a half a mile. Call Kazuma, take a taxi to his house if you have to. And stay away from here! I have to go to your grandfather's house now, or Akito will be suspicious. Don't go back there for at least a week and if anyone comes looking for you run away! Kagura you should go to your parent's house, otherwise Akito might wonder where you've been." Kagura nodded.

"Wait! There has to be a way…" said Tohru.

"If there is then none of us know it. Please, Tohru, go now. I don't know what Akito will do if he finds out you were here," said Hatori.

Tohru stared at him and Kagura, helplessness and something more… anger, rising up inside her. She crumpled the yen in her fist and turned her backs to them. "I'll find a way, I promise. I'll find a way to free all of you." With that she began to run, not daring to look back. She knew if she saw that expression on their faces again, that blank look of fear and acceptance as if they were preparing for their own deaths, she knew she would start to cry.

* * *

Later that night, after she had called Kazuma and after the taxi had arrived to speed her to his dojo, she rested her head against the window and imagined cords of ever color stretching into darkness. This time she did not stop herself from reaching for them, wrapping her fingers around them, and pulling them into her hand. Some resisted, but two came free as easily as spider silk. In her dream, because what else could it be, she clutched the two strings to her heart.

Miles away at the Sohma Estate, Kagura's eyes flew open and she stared at ceiling of her bedroom as a feeling of peace flooded her and tears trickled down her face.

At the Main House, Hatori knelt before Akito, struggling to find the words to explain how he had been unable to find Tohru, when he felt it. The separation that could only be described as the sudden absence of pain so familiar that he had long since become numb to its presence.

_Of course, how blind we have been,_ he thought through the sudden haze, _This is how it was meant to be_.

Even Akito's ringing slap could not pierce the cloud of euphoria the blanketed him, nor her anguished screams, nor the rough arms of the servants as they dragged him from her presence, to be imprisoned until the day of the Banquet.

* * *

Author Note: Thank you again for your patience and for continuing to read this story! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to reading and responding to your reviews!


	24. Chapter 24

**To Be Human**

Author Note: It's worth mentioning that with this update that story passes 60,000 words, putting it in the next filter bracket! Its also worth mentioning that when I started this fic I didn't think it would pass 20,000…. –sweatdrop-.

More important than my own ramblings is the fact that the wonderful ZyeIN has drawn fanart for To Be Human! And by fanart I mean she was kind enough to do an incredible commission piece featuring Kyo and the original form. It can be found on her DeviantArt page and the link should be in my profile. Be sure to check it out and please leave her a comment, her work is amazing and I'm so honored to have her as one of my readers.

* * *

The sound of the servants' feet as they dragged Hatori from the audience chamber faded as they rounded the hallway. It was only then that Akito allowed herself to collapse in a heap at the foot of the dais, burying her face in shaking hands. The two empty spaces inside her, the Dragon and the Boar, gaped like open wounds.

"Father," she whispered into her hands. "Father, what am I supposed to do? You told me I am a special existence. You told me that I am the god. W-why can't I…why can't I?" she gave a hiccoughing sob, "Why can't I hold on to my most precious people? What should I do?" she lowered her hands and stared out into the night, "What should I do?" her vision blurred and cleared as hot tears fell free and left burning trails down her cheeks. "Is the Banquet the answer? If its not then…then…"

_Then I will be alone. Without bonds to hold them, who will stay by my side? They will flee to that girl and unless I find her she will take them from me._ Akito rubbed the tattered sleeve of her suit over her eyes, scraping away tears. "I want to see him," she whimpered into her arm, "I want to see Hatori." Even though he was dead to her, with no bonds to connect them. Even still, she wanted to see him one last time before the Banquet either saved her or destroyed her.

The servants stopped and stared as she stumbled down the hall. She hardly saw them as she wandered what felt like miles to Hatori's house. The two servants who had dragged him away stood outside his door, and she swayed to a stop in front of them. "Open it," she growled. The two snapped to attention and opened the door with a bow. The room beyond them was dark, and all the light vanished as they closed the door behind her.

The dim glow of the stars made shadows of Hatori's familiar office, but without the bond she could not feel his presence. The room was empty as far as she could tell, and her heart twisted at the thought that he really had left her, slipped past the servants and fled at the earliest opportunity. "Hatori, " she called, trying to muster some semblance of command in her voice. She recoiled as light flooded the room and turned to see Hatori sitting at his desk.

"Yes?" he said in his calm, level voice. "My apologies for the darkness. I had not realized I would have company so early in my imprisonment." He folded his hands in his lap and gazed upon her, utterly unreadable. "How may I help you?"

Akito stared at him, then covered her mouth as a harsh coughing sound welled in her throat. Hatori started to his feet, one hand reaching for her, as she began to laugh. _He hasn't changed_, Akito thought, as hysterical relief welled inside her. She sank to her knees, shaking with laughter, and stared up into Hatori's stunned face. _He's not gone_, she thought, _his body is still here. Like a corpse_.

"Akito…" said Hatori, crouching down beside her, concern furrowing his brow. One hand came up to brush away the hair that had fallen into her face. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" she said, her voice breaking, "Why is this happening?"

"I don't know," said Hatori. He pressed his thumb to her cheek to wipe away a stray tear. "I'm afraid I have no cure for this." She leaned against his hand, her heart aching at how close he was, and how far.

_I miss you_, she thought, and raised one hand to Hatori's face. _I…_ in one motion pressed her tear-stained lips to his. _I want you to stay with me_…He jerked away but she pressed harder, one hand fumbling at the top button of his shirt. "Don't leave me…" she whispered against his lips. His hands came to her shoulders, struggling to extricate himself.

"Akito, stop this," Hatori muttered.

"Hatori…" she murmured, fingers twining through his collar to pull him closer, "Always loved you best…" She arched against him.

Their bodies touched.

A pop like a small explosion rang out and she fell, disoriented. A puff of smoke filled the space where Hatori had been.

And grew.

The smoke snaked through the room, and with it came the scent of rain and thunder. She twisted as something pressed against her back. Brown scales and a trail of spines running along a sinuous body the size of a tree trunk greeted her eyes. She choked on a gasp and whipped around to stare at Hatori. But instead of the smooth contours of his human face, or even the tiny features of his rarely-seen seahorse form, a creature of myth stared back at her.

The Dragon.

* * *

Shigure gave a sigh of relief as he rounded the corner and saw his house appear through the trees. It had been three hour walk from the restaurant and he was, he grimaced at the pun, dog-tired.

But the walk had given him valuable time to think.

The house was dark when he entered. No surprise really, it was almost midnight and Yuki was likely asleep. Shigure went straight to his office, flipping on the light and walking to the shelves where he kept his research material. His papers were still in place, the computer on his desk blinking sleepily.

Rummaging through the stacks of newspapers, old books and trashy romance novels, he did not have to search long to find what he was looking for. Nor would anyone have had to, if they had known where to look or what they were looking for. He did not keep them concealed, in his experience plain sight had always been the best place to keep…sensitive information. Lockboxes could be opened, secret compartments discovered, but no one in their right mind would want to go through Shigure's old junk.

He slid a collection of old notebooks out from under a pile of newspaper. He placed it on his desk and sat, gingerly opening the first notebook as through it were a priceless ancient scroll. Which is exactly what it had once been.

When he had told Hiro not to mind the servants, he had been speaking from experience. Except for Akito and that harpy of a head maid, none of the other residents of Sohma House would dare stop a Zodiac member from going about their business. They were the royalty of the Sohma family and, as such, could probably have anything they wanted just by asking. Shigure had discovered this back in his high school years when he had bluffed his way into the Sohma family archives with an icy stare and the veiled threat of bloody reprisal or worse, firing, for the elderly man who guarded those dusty shelves.

Of course, there was a limit. He would have been caught if he had been seen walking out with 500 year old scrolls, so he had brought a notebook hidden under his shirt and spent an entire summer vacation from dawn till dusk meticulously copying down every word and smudge of the archives.

There had been no answers there for how to break the Curse. In fact, most of the records had been mind-numbingly dull. Births, marriages, deaths, business transactions. Occasionally a note beside a name denoting a member of the Zodiac. Shigure had felt the chill of déjà vu as he read his own name from incarnations past, both male and female, but there was little else in the last two hundred years of records to give him pause.

It had not been until the 16th century records that he had found even a hint of what he was looking for. There were only a few scrolls surviving from that time, and they were not nearly as meticulous as the records of the past hundred years, but one detail became very clear in a single line, scrawled by a hand shaking with panic.

_The Rabbit has yet to be born._

A single note, written beneath a short list of the birth dates and names of the Zodiac, including the god. It was the earliest and most tight-knit group of birthdates Shigure had seen, and the first of its kind. None of the dates were more than ten years apart. It seemed it wasn't until this entry that the Sohmas had even bothered to record the birthdates of the Zodiac. The Rabbit did not appear again until sixty years later, in the second account of birthdates. But by then it was the Snake who had failed to appear, and in the following generation the Rat and the Boar were both missing. Throughout all this time it was also reported in worried footnotes that the size of the animal forms decreased with every incarnation. All of these gaps seemed to stem from the first birth account, as did the beginning of the meticulous record taking of the Sohma family births and deaths. From then on the entire Zodiac was never again alive at the same time, until the modern era with the birth of Kisa.

He could only assume that the fragmenting of the Curse had begun sometime before this first missing birth. Though it there was no clue in the records as to how old the Zodiac Curse was, the Sohma family was already considered an ancient clan by the 16th century when the note was made.

He switched to another notebook, this one only half filled. It was here he had recorded the remains of the charred and fragmented parchments that comprised all the records from the 12th century to the 16th century. As far as he could tell, the Sohma family history during that time had been a bloody one, as the family took part in the politics and power struggles of the day. Most of the records had been destroyed by a fire that had blazed through the Sohma Estate during one of the numerous civil wars, and those that remained were badly burned.

Shigure flipped to the last page of the notebook, where he had recorded the only scroll of the set that had not been damaged. It had contained only one line.

_I, Hisui Sohma, Jade Emperor of the Sohma Clan, do hereby authorize the execution by seppuku of Keiji Sohma, the Cat, for crimes against the clan._

There was no further explanation, and it was the only execution that Shigure had seen in any of the records. He closed the notebook and cupped his chin in his hand, staring at the wall.

As far as he could tell, this record was from the last intact generation of the Zodiac before the absence of the Rabbit in the following generation. Did this mean that the execution of the Cat was the cause of the Curse's weakening, or that the Cat had committed some crime that caused it to fragment? And how did this relate to Shigure's Curse transferring its center to Tohru, over 400 years later? He took out a piece of scrap paper, scribbling idly down the side as he attempted to gather his thoughts.

_Empathic_, he noted. The Curse was had at its core an emotional bond that allowed the Cursed to feel the emotions of the god. He scribbled an arrow going between the word 'god' and 'Zodiac'. He added another directional. _Can the god feel the Zodiac's emotions as well?_

_Transmigrational,_ the Curse followed the souls of the Zodiac through multiple incarnations. _Sentient_…his pen hovered over the word. Did the Curse have a will of its own? He crossed out the word and rewrote _Purposed_. The Curse seemed to have some parameters, or purpose to it. _So when that purpose is violated_, he mused, _will it seek to correct itself?_

A bond of family, no, an _emotional_ bond of family that transcended death. A bond of support. When this bond is violated… He felt a thrill course down his spine… When the bond is violated or misused, it seeks to correct itself in order to survive.

_Did Akito misuse the bond? Or was it something greater than that?_ The bond had been weakening for centuries; it couldn't be entirely Akito's fault. Simply stealing Kyo's bracelet would not be enough.

_But now, with a new center, it has healed itself,_ Shigure thought_. But what are the effects?_

_And can it still be broken?_

_

* * *

_

Author Note: Sorry for the exposition dump, but I hope it helped some people get a better understanding of what's going on with the Curse. That is assuming that Shigure is correct of course.

Thank you for reading, please check out ZyeIN's fanart, titled "Kyo for Avelera" over at DeviantArt, and if you get the chance please leave a review for this chapter!


	25. Chapter 25

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Once again another unforgivable delay, made up for a little by an extra long chapter. Thank you for your patience and enjoy the chapter!

* * *

It was not the first time he had received a call in the middle of the night from a crying child. Nor was it the first time he had listened somberly to a voice drowning in anger and tears at the injustice of the Sohma family and the horrors of Sohma House.

But he had never expected to hear Tohru raise her voice in anger. He had never expected her to be the bearer of those words. He had never expected her to end his world.

"They're going to hold the Banquet," she said, her voice skipping and hiccoughing as she struggled to continue. "W-why didn't anyone tell me? Kazuma?"

Kazuma closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the wall, his fingers clenching around the receiver. When he finally spoke he was surprised at the steadiness of his own voice, "Come to my house, Tohru. We will talk here." The line went dead and he replaced the receiver with a click.

_The Banquet…_

As the outsider, he had always been the safe haven, the place where the Sohma children were free of Akito's shadow. They could tell him their woes, knowing he would understand, and that he would not reveal their secrets. When possible he would make room in his house for the child, be it Yuki or Rin, Hatsuharu or Kagura, and allow them to stay as long as they wished. Usually it was only a day before a stone-faced servant came to retrieve them, and he would be forced to watch as they were herded away, and the cycle of tears would begin again

_Never again. Not after the Banquet._

Something snapped and he glanced down in surprise at the sudden sharp pain across his knuckles. His fist had gone through the plaster, which had bowed inward and cracked into a spider web of fractures. Dust trickled to the floor as he removed his hand, massaging the knuckles vaguely. He shook his head. Tohru would be here soon. Perhaps, considering the circumstances, he should let her take his own bed rather than Kyo's. He nodded to himself. He would not be sleeping this night.

He began to move mechanically through the house, fetching pajamas and blankets from various cupboards. It was not the first time he had given a runaway from Sohma House a bed for the night…._ But it will be the last. _His heart twisted and he was gasping as he stood above the futon, his knees no longer strong enough to support him, clutching at the folded blankets so hard his hands shook. He took a long, shuddering breath and placed the blankets on the futon. _You_ _knew this day would come. _

Head bowed, he began to walk towards the door. Far away, passing headlights sent ghostly squares of light flickering through the halls. His movements slowed with every step, and when he reached the kitchen it was all he could do to remain standing. He pressed his hand to the doorframe, his knuckles clenching white, and forced himself to sit at the kitchen table, if only to keep himself from slipping to the ground. He lowered himself slowly, like an old man, like his grandfather would have, and pressed his forehead to his folded hands as if praying.

_But I never thought it would come so soon. _

The ticking clock echoed through the room like a heartbeat, flooding Kazuma ears as he stared blankly at the table. Tohru would be here soon. He had to be strong for her. He had to put away his own pain and think of her, how confused she must be, how lost. She would not have known of the Banquet, or its potential to happen in her lifetime. No one could have predicted that she would be told so many secrets, or that there would be any reason for her to know this one.

He would have to tell her. He would have to explain how the friends she had made would be locked up like animals. That strong, capable men like Shigure and Hatori, men Kazuma considered close friends, would be as helpless to save themselves as innocents like Hiro and Kisa. That Kyo, his own child, was would be taken from him, and once gone it would be as if his son had died. No one was to see them, or discuss them. All their vibrancy and joy, their sorrows and triumphs, would be gone as surely as if they had never existed.

And there was nothing he could do to save them.

When she came it was without a sound. She appeared like a ghost in the doorway, a statue of shadows and pale stone in the moonlight, motionless except for the flickering coals of pain and anger in her eyes. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and her lips twisted as their gazes met. She was struggling to fight back tears. "I'm sorry," he said. "You shouldn't have had to find out like this."

She bit her lip and shuddered, suppressing a sob, and when she spoke it was almost a gasp as each word was forced passed tears, "What are we going to do?"

He forced a weak smile, "For now, you need to rest. I've made up a bed for you; it's at the end of the hall. We can talk more in the morning." She moved as if to speak then stopped, looking away. "Sleep well, Miss Honda," he said, turning his gaze back to the table. Her head drooped and she vanished as silently as she had come.

He returned his gaze to the window, to the passing moon and the stars that wheeled above the earth like his thoughts around her question. What would they do? What could any of them do?

_Nothing, nothing at all, and there never has been_. It was Akito's voice that spoke in his head, and this time he did not bridle against it in rage. There was a weary comfort in accepting, the comfort of giving up after a long fight. He had not had the strength to comfort Tohru or even to find the words to soothe her. He did not have the strength to soothe himself. There was only surrender now, and mourning, and the slow lethargy of hopelessness running in his veins to his heart, sapping his muscles, and dragging him down.

Eventually even the strength to watch the stars failed him and he put his head down into his hands, staring at the grains in the wood. He did not sleep, nor was he fully awake. Thoughts of hope, of rescues, and of other impossible things flitted fitfully through his mind. But in the end he knew they were only dreams.

* * *

_What are we going to do?_

Kazuma's eyes fluttered, fragments of dreams scattering from his mind. He remembered flashes of Kyo at his mother's funeral, and an image Tohru standing at the center of the Sohma Clan, her face implacable, as distant screaming rose in the background.

He rubbed his eyes and opened them to a sun-bathed kitchen. The screaming remained, and beneath it the sound of careful movement, the muted clinking of plates and shuttering of cabinets drew him out of the fog. He looked towards the source of the sound and saw Tohru standing in front of the stove, pulling a screeching kettle off the burner.

"Good morning," she said, with some of her usual cheer. She replaced the kettle on an unlit burner and set a pair of teacups on the table. "I'm sorry I woke you, I was going to have breakfast ready first. I hope you slept well." Kazuma blinked, glancing at the table. The muscles in his neck were stiff and there was a spot of drool on his sleeve. "I guess that's a silly question. I mean, you slept on a table after all and, oh! I took your bed didn't I? Oh no, I'm so sorry! I should have asked where you would sleep! Oh no, oh no…" Kazuma's eyes widened as the girl flailed her arms, now in full panic mode. He held up a hand and cut her off.

"It's fine Miss Honda. Thank you for making breakfast, I apologize for the inconvenience and my poor qualities as a host," Tohru calmed, her face dropping all signs of emotion, her eyelids lowered to hide a sudden spasm of pain, the twitch of a frown. She glanced down at the cups and took the kettle from the stove to fill them.

The sunlight was streaming through the kitchen window, banishing the half remembered shreds of nightmare and turning the dark spot on the wall that had frightened Kyo as a child into nothing more than a smudge. Steam rose in coils from the tea and rice that Tohru had prepared. Her clothes had a rumpled, slept-in appearance, and when she turned to place the bowls on the table Kazuma saw around her eyes the red puffiness of someone who had cried themselves to sleep. He thanked her with a nod and began to eat.

"I understand you are living with you grandfather now," said Kazuma between sips of tea. Tohru nodded, "I'm sorry if my actions caused you to leave Shigure's house, but with this news of the Banquet it was probably for the best." She stared at him, her eyes wide and searching, driving him to continue. "It is only a matter of time until Yuki and Shigure are gathered," he explained.

"Three days," she said.

Kazuma's heart seized and he swallowed before speaking again, "…So, you see…" the words froze in his throat as her words spun in his head. "So you see… it was just a matter of time..."

"Kazuma?" he felt the feather touch of her fingers on his forehead and she was in front of him, "Are you feeling all right? You've gone pale."

He stared up at her and she saw his calm gray eyes were wide and staring, as if struggling to understand an incomprehensible loss. "Three days?" he said, his voice low and rough. She nodded. "And you know that after that, they will be…?" She nodded again, her eyes downcast, and removed her fingers from his forehead.

"So soon. In the end, there was nothing I could do to save them," he said. He coughed, clearing his throat. _Three days_. "There should have been more time, he should have let the children grow up first. But no one expected them all to be born, not after so long. I thought at least if Kyo… if I could save him, then perhaps then it could all be stopped. Perhaps it just needed one act of resistance. Perhaps the Curse could be broken," Tohru eyes softened with understanding. Kazuma continued, each word picking at the dam that he had built up over the years against the rage and sorrow. "Perhaps the impossible…was not."

"Kazuma…" she began. His fist slammed down on the table, cutting her off. The dishes rattled and a chopstick skittered to the floor.

"He is _my son_," he snarled, rising to his feet. Tohru jerked away. "It was my duty to protect him. But I couldn't protect him from Akito, or from that monster eating him from the inside." His fists began to shake, "He has done nothing to deserve this torture. He's just a boy, no worse than any other. An innocent." Tohru clasped her hands to her chest, her eyes flickering, studying Kazuma. He stared straight ahead, his jaw tensed and his fists clenching, his usual self control held together by only a thread. "I thought there could be no greater cruelty than what they did to him. The silent permission given by all the Sohmas for a child to be tormented. A child! That some lottery of chance, that some ancient Curse could somehow dictate that a little boy could be shunned and persecuted. That he should be blamed because he was born, or because his mother was a disturbed woman who took her own life." Tohru gave a small gasp and he paused, looking up as if just remembering she was there, "But do you know, it wasn't any better for the other children, or the adults. So many abandoned, insulted, beaten. Turned into scapegoats by their own deranged families. Do you understand, Tohru? Those favored children of the Sohma family, those prophesied ones that stand so high above the others are often as rejected by their own families as Kyo was."

"And I thought I could protect them," Kazuma laughed harshly, "I thought I could shelter them here, outside of Sohma House. Sometimes I thought I could even rescue them, keep them here. But in the end, would that make me any better than Akito? And even if I could, I knew they would go back. Even when they were hurt and afraid they would always go back there. And I thought, that is the true horror of that Curse and of this family, that they cannot resist. That they will always hunger, like the abused children that they are, for the love of their parents and of Akito. That ultimately the monster only needed to snap his fingers and they would return to him. Just as they will now. They will not try to escape the Banquet. Even though they have their own lives, their own hopes and dreams, they cannot escape." He turned to her, his eyes wild with pain and despair, "There is nothing they can do, Miss Honda. So to answer your question, there is nothing _we_ can do either."

Tohru stared at Kazuma as he collapsed back into the chair, his shoulders slumped in defeat as if all the strength had been drained from his body. He reminded her of Hatori, his resignation and visible struggle as he let her go, and of Kagura as she shooed Tohru away, making no effort to escape the summons. Then in her mind she saw Kyo, his violet eyes glowing from the shadow of the Cat's House as the door opened and he would not come out. And somewhere distantly, as she was running away, the sound of poison as Akito's voice rose in her wake. She remembered Yuki long ago standing paralyzed as Akito raised a hand to touch his face. She remembered Hiro struggling not to cry while he told her the reason he abandoned Kisa. She remembered the shadow in the eyes of the other Zodiac members when Akito was mentioned, the awe and fear in their voices.

"Kazuma…" he looked up at her and she hesitated, the words sworn to Kagura and Hatori shivering down her spine. _I'll find a way, I promise…_ Could she really do it? Who was she to break this cycle? There must be another who knew better, who had more right than her. But Kazuma's eyes were empty, his strength and calm shattered from within, and there was no one else. "I'm sorry Kazuma but…you're wrong," she said, the words escaping before she had truly decided to speak, though even as she spoke she knew they were true.

_Hiro wipes the sleep from his eyes and begins to walk down the stairs to the kitchen. His mother is there, and he smiles as a he sees Kisa sitting at the table. He opens his mouth to greet her and stops. He falls to the steps, hard, and stares down at his hands. Tear drops patter like rain on his skin and he realizes that he can feel a familiar presence in his heart alongside a terrible emptiness._

"What are you trying to say, Miss Honda?" there is a hint of anger in his voice, as one who has had hope pulled away from them too many times.

Tohru swallowed, her hands beginning to shake. There was a weight on her soul and a fire inside her that was strange, like another soul swelling inside her body. She wanted to stop and understand what was so strange, but there was no time, she had to push forward. There was no one else anymore and there were only three days. "The Banquet has to be stopped."

"And how do you propose to do that when they can't even stop themselves from going?" said Kazuma. "I'm sorry Miss Honda, but you must see how unrealistic that is."

"They've resisted Akito before. Maybe they just need help, someone to try," Tohru said. Something was rising inside her, something like anger. Maybe it was just butterflies, but it coiled like a flame and when she blinked her vision flashed jade.

Kazuma shot back, "You don't understand. This is not like the New Year, or as simple as living away from the Main House. The Banquet is much more than that, a full summons. They have been waiting their entire lives for this event, trained since they were children to obey."

"But Akito has no right to use the Banquet as an excuse to imprison them!" she was shouting. The world was spinning but she could not stop. "They aren't animals, they shouldn't be forced to live in a cage. They deserve…they deserve to be given their own choices, not let Akito decide for them! As the head of the family it should be his responsibility to take care of them. That means treating them as humans, it means letting them be free! The Curse was always meant to tie together a family that loved each other, to make sure they would not be separated, even by death. The bonds were meant to be more, they were meant to be…" Tohru froze, breath catching in her throat. She couldn't speak. She couldn't see! Rolling out in front of her eyes was an ocean of jade and standing in the middle, the faintest suggestion of robes flickered around a body of shadows. It stepped towards her, one hand extended. She could feel it seizing her, taking her over.

"Miss Honda, what are you saying? Ties, bonds? How can you know such things about the Curse when…Miss Honda, Miss Honda?" Kazuma eyes widened as Tohru's mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Her body seized, every limb straightening as if stricken by paralysis. Her back arched and her eyes rolled up to the ceiling. Kazuma started to his feet, reaching out towards Tohru. Suddenly her eyes snapped forward, staring directly at him.

"_The bond have been violated_," Tohru's voice spoke but the words echoed like thunder through the room. "_A new one must be made._"

"What?" Kazuma said, terror turning his veins to ice. Tohru swayed and he reached out instinctively to catch her just as she collapsed. Her head lolled and he pressed a hand to her forehead, only to jerk back, his fingers tingling as if they had been electrocuted. Her eyes fluttered and for a split second there was no whites or irises, only glowing jade. "Miss Honda!" The hair on his arms stood on end and the air crackled with electricity.

_Far away a girl with black hair like silk rocks forward, and her dark eyes suddenly filled with tears. She clutches at her heart and jumps to her feet. There are servants guarding her door. They feared she would run when she could not, but now she can. She can feel the sudden freedom inside her, joy and pain alternating with every beat of her heart. There is another presence there now, something else that might trap her, but she ignores it for the moment. They do not expect her to burst out the door, tearing down the hall at full tilt. Their cries fade behind her. She is running, flying. She is the Horse._

_She is free._

"Miss Honda!" Kazuma shook Tohru's shoulders and the girl shivered, her eyes fluttering. The jade has vanished. Tohru struggled to pull herself upright with the back of a chair, tottering as she stood.

"Did I just faint?" she mumbled. She pressed a hand to her forehead, swaying. Kazuma caught her, pressing a hand to each shoulder and lowering his head to look into her eyes. Her face was pale and sweaty as if fevered.

"Miss Honda, you need a doctor," he said firmly.

"I feel strange," she said, and lurched forward. Kazuma steadied her and helped her kneel to the floor. She pressed both hands to her face, her breath coming in soft gasps. "What just happened?"

"I could ask you the same question. You something about the bond being violated and how a new one must be made," said Kazuma, struggling to keep his voice calm. "Miss Honda, I think you had a seizure of some sort. You were raving," he said, then added to himself, "You must have been raving…"

"I'm sorry, I don't...I don't remember. Perhaps I'm coming down with something," said Tohru vaguely.

"You should rest here for a few days. Forget about the Banquet. There is nothing you can do and worry is hurting your health," said Kazuma, "This matter will resolve itself regardless of your involvement."

Tohru looked up at him. She was still pale and shaking. The jade in her eyes had vanished, imagined perhaps. Yes, it must have been imagined. Now all that remained was steel. "No, that isn't good enough," she said.

Kazuma sighed. When would the girl give up? "What is your alternative?"

"We'll go tomorrow to free them. We only need to rescue one, Akito can't hold the Banquet without everyone there," she said.

"You're assuming they will want to come with us. How is kidnapping one of them any better than what Akito is doing?" said Kazuma.

"At least we can give them the chance to choose," said Tohru, "I don't think any of them want the Banquet to happen, not really. If we can delay it now maybe we can convince Akito to call it off." Kazuma frowned. It wasn't exactly hope, but then, he could not truly accept hope anymore. But they had nothing to lose.

"All right Miss Honda," said Kazuma, rising to his feet. "We will give it one last try." Her smile was like the sun and for a moment it overrode his despair and fear, the despair of losing Kyo and the fear of the jade that had flashed in her eyes.

_Thousands of miles away, in a strange city and an unfamiliar bed, Momiji woke up with tears in his eyes. How he did not know, but he could feel both aching sorrow and love, pure love, as he realized that there was no darkness inside anymore. He knew this feeling, and though he did not know why he knew who, her name formed on his lips. _

"_Tohru." He smiled and whispered to the night air, "Thank you." _

_

* * *

_

Author Note: Whew, glad to have this posted. I just wanted to point out that the evening that ended this chapter started during chapter _18_. Yes, I have been aware of this and yes I'm relieved to have this extremely long in-story game finally end. After, the characters really need their sleep!

As always, reviews are the only payment I receive for the literally hundreds of hours of work I have put into this story. They are much appreciated and make me smile. So please leave one!


	26. Chapter 26

**To Be Human**

Author Note: These passages were supposed to go in the previous chapter, but I decided they broke up the flow too much.

Don't worry, Kyo will be back soon! I swear this is the last chapter focusing on "ensemble" characters before getting back to main ones. Sorry to have gotten so sidetracked but I promise it all has a purpose.

Anyway, without further ado, the next chapter!

* * *

_Hiro wipes the sleep from his eyes and begins to walk down the stairs to the kitchen. His mother is there, and he smiles as he sees Kisa sitting at the table. He opens his mouth to greet her and stops. He falls to the steps, hard, and stares down at his hands. Tear drops patter like rain on his skin and he realizes that he can feel a familiar presence in his heart alongside a terrible emptiness._

"Hiro, please come here." Hiro looked up, tears standing out in his eyes. His mother was pale and her lips tight. Kisa looked at him from the table, her eyes wide. "Sweetie, now."

He rose to his feet, scrubbing the tears away with the sleeve of his pajamas with a surreptitious sniffle and clambered down the steps. His mother placed a hand on his shoulders, her grip strong and fingers tense, and guided him to the kitchen table. Kisa was sitting up, her back rigid, and staring straight ahead. He took the seat across from her and shot her a glance. She shook her head and looked towards the door.

"Hiro…" Kisa said.

"What's going on?" said Hiro.

"There are some men outside the house, dear," his mother said. Her voice was pitched high, as if she were trying to sound cheerful. "They arrived just a few minutes ago, I asked them to wait until you and Kisa are dressed and ready."

"Mom, what…?"

"Lord Akito sent them," she said. Her hands were clasped over her stomach, her knuckles clenched white.

_They're here for the bracelet!_ Hiro's mind screamed. His chair toppled with a bang as he jumped to his feet.

His mother waved her hands in front of her, shushing him. "Hiro, no! Calm down, or they might…" she whispered. They all froze as a loud knocking came from the door.

"What's going on in there? What's taking so long?" came a voice from outside.

Hiro's breath was like thunder in his ears. His mother was kneeling in front of him, her fingers fluttering like startled birds, her face gone white. Kisa's liquid gold eyes were wide. Inside his heart there was a gaping emptiness coupled with a familiar feeling. Unbidden, Tohru's face appeared in his mind and he shook his head to dispel it. Akito knew. He knew Hiro had stolen back the bracelet.

_Don't think you'll ever see Kisa again…_

Akito was coming for them.

"Kisa," he said in a strangled whisper, "We have to run." He seized her wrist and wrenched her to her feet.

"Hiro, no, I can't…" said Kisa.

"Mom, I'm sorry, we've got to go," said Hiro. "Don't tell them where we've gone." He began to run, dragging Kisa behind him, ignoring her protests as he slammed the screen of the backdoor open and ran into the yard.

"Hiro, we have to stop! You don't understand…" cried Kisa. He ignored her, racing down the stone path that ran between the houses. Servants dotted the path, glancing up as they passed. He had to get them outside. The strange presence in his heart could wait until they were safe. How, or for how long he didn't know. But they had to get away.

A shout rose behind them and he dragged Kisa into the alleyway behind a house. He could hear her panting; trying to speak but he shushed her. His home was near the center of the complex, not far from the Main House itself. He considered running to one of the gates. They were miles from Kazuma's house, and Shigure's. But those were the first places they would look, and he was just a kid. How would he take care of Kisa? He didn't have any money, or place to hide. Akito would find them, and take Kisa away for good. He clenched his fists, terror thundering in his heart until he heard Kisa give a squeak of pain.

"Hiro, there's something you need to know," Kisa panted. "The men said…they said Akito had summoned us…"

"I know," said Hiro, glancing back at the mouth of the alleyway. "Kisa, I've done something bad. Really bad. We have to say away from Akito, you have to trust me in this. If they find us they're not going to let us see each other ever again."

"No, Hiro. _You_ don't understand," she took his other hand in hers and he stared at her in confusion. Her eyes were sad. "We've been summoned. For the Banquet." She gulped, "Akito has decided to hold it in just a few days. We have to say goodbye to our families."

Hiro stared. "The Banquet? How…why?" he said. She shook her head and pulled her hands away, turning back to the entrance of the alley and the shouting servants.

_Why didn't he feel the pull to go back?_

"Kisa," he said, "I have to tell you something. I think something is going on with the Curse. I feel…different. I think it has to do with Tohru…"

"Hiro, _stop_," Kisa said, whipping around. "Tohru is gone and we have to say goodbye to our families. We don't have much time left with them," tears were gathering in her eyes, "I need to say goodbye to my mother, not be running around all over Sohma House like this."

"But we can get away! We don't have to go to the Banquet. We can escape. Please, listen to me…" But he could see her eyes were distant, wandering back to the Main House, as if she could sense Akito, as if she could hear him calling. _Is this it? _ he wondered, _Is this what it looks like from the outside?_

"Let me go," she said. He released her and she wrenched her hands back, tottering a few steps back to put distance between them. "We can talk after the Banquet. There will be plenty of time after that. All the time we need…" She turned and began to walk away.

"Kisa…" he called after her. She didn't look back and suddenly he was running. One more chance was all he needed. If she would just listen, if she would just…

She stopped and turned at the sound of his footsteps, her eyes going wide. A part of his mind shouted at him to watch out, that he couldn't touch a girl. But another told him it was Kisa, that he was safe with Kisa…

Her arms spread as if to stop away, or receive him, to pull him close. He reached for her.

The explosion rattled the alley, a pop like fireworks turning every head in the street. The pursuers glanced at one another and ran. Smoke roiled at the entrance of the alley and they coughed as it cleared, waving their hands. One saw through the haze before the other, saw rumpled socks and a torn shirt scattered in a heap together, saw the striped head of tiger kitten sticking out from beneath a fallen skirt. It looked up at him, puzzled. He reached to scoop it up, hiding it under his jacket before the commotion brought other Sohmas to the scene. One form or another would not matter to Lord Akito.

A muffled shout came from behind him and he glanced back. His colleagues' eyes were wide. They were backing away. He followed the trail of their eyes and a gust of wind swept the last of the smoke away. When he looked back it took him a moment to take in the curling horns, the sharp hooves, and the burning eyes of a very large and very angry ram.

* * *

_Far away a girl with black hair like silk rocks forward, and her dark eyes suddenly filled with tears. She clutches at her heart and jumps to her feet. There are servants guarding her door. They feared she would run when she could not, but now she can. She can feel the sudden freedom inside her, joy and pain alternating with every beat of her heart. There is another presence there now, something else that might trap her, but she ignores it for the moment. They do not expect her to burst out the door, tearing down the hall at full tilt. Their cries fade behind her. She is running, flying. She is the Horse._

_She is free._

She darts behind a corner and begins to tear at the buckles of her high heeled boots. They are tight like a second skin running up to her knee and she curses as the buckles stick. She can hear the servants clambering behind her, sees the fastest of them run past her hiding spot. The boots slip off and she throws them into the back of the alley without a second glance. She can feel the roar in her ears, the rush and pound of hooves that thunders in time with the hammering pulse of blood beneath her skin. Shaking fingers begin to pull at her belt and the zipper that runs the length of her skirt. Her clothing falls to the ground piece by piece and she swallows, gasping, quashing the terror rising like acid in her throat. A little longer, just another second more.

She falls to her knees, part weakness, part impending shift from two legs to four, as her body reorganizes itself in an instant from human to horse. Her fingers scrabble at the fallen clothes into a bundle, fastening the buckles in a loose ring around her neck. She knows how large it must be to not fall off or strangle her. It would not do to be naked in the city.

_Now!_ She shouts to the Horse, clenching her teeth as the transformation rips through and around her. The explosion is louder than she remembers and scrunches her eyes shut, tossing her head upwards.

_Something is wrong!_

The buckles of the clothing bite into her neck, and what should have been a loose bundle knots tight around her throat. It holds, and she whips her neck to loosen the cutting ties. A shout goes up outside the alley and the silhouette of a man appears at the entrance. He is shorter than her, much shorter than he should be. And she is faster than she should be, too fast to swerve in time and she hears his cry out as she gallops past him, the force of her passage throwing him hard against the wall.

Humans scream and dodge out of her path as she pounds through the twisting paths of the Sohma Complex. The black streak of her reflection follows her like a shadow, no longer a dainty black mare but a warhorse. There is no strain as she flies faster than she ever has before, past the buildings to the wall that divides Sohma House from the empty land that surrounds it.

The fence rears before her, too tall to jump before, but not now. Her muscles bunch in anticipation, prepared to either clear the fence or smash through it. There is nothing else between her and freedom, not now, not with Akito gone from her head and the strength of the Horse pouring through her.

Her muscles tense and she leaps, hooves clearing the ground and for a split second there is no gravity, nothing holding her to the earth. It is as if she is the Bird…

Something flickers across her vision and for a horrified second she thinks the clothes around her neck have shifted, have begun to choke her. A little further and she will shift back, she will be a girl in the city, and she will be human…

The string snaps taut as the lasso around her neck draws tight and she is not flying but falling, _hard_. She screams, high and piercing, as she is dragged to earth, her legs kicking in the air and all thoughts gone from her head, all hope destroyed, only pain and terror as she twists and writhes against the noose. She is human again, but the rope is still on her neck, the slipknot drawn tight. Her nails tear at the rope as she screams.

Kureno stares down at the girl, clothed only in her black hair. Her dark eyes burn with rage and tears. His own gaze is pitiless.

"Take her to Akito," he says, and departs without sparing her another glance.

* * *

_Thousands of miles away, in a strange city and an unfamiliar bed, Momiji woke up with tears in his eyes. How he did not know, but he could feel both aching sorrow and love, pure love, as he realized that there was no darkness inside anymore. He knew this feeling, and though he did not know why, he knew whom, her name formed on his lips. _

"_Tohru." He smiled and whispered to the night air, "Thank you." _

Momiji's father hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. The light of the Vienna Opera House glowed in the window of the hotel room he had rented for Momiji's summer vacation. When the Clan Head had canceled the trip to the Sohma beach house, Momiji's father had taken the opportunity to bring Momiji to Vienna for the summer concert circuit. It was one of many promises he had made to the boy to make up for his wife's absence.

His brow creased into frown and he stared at the phone without seeing it. He had considered refusing when word came from the Main House that the Clan Head had recalled his son. But in truth it was only wishful thinking.

_Perhaps we can return once the matter is cleared_, he thought. _Surely Lord Akito will only require Momiji's presence for a short time._

It was past midnight and the earliest chartered flight could not be arranged for several hours. He wandered over to Momiji's room and debated whether he should wake his son now to tell him of the summons or wait. He leaned his forehead against the door and tried to ignore the anxiety twisting inside him. Was this another routine summons? Why did he had this sense of foreboding?

The sound of sniffling made Momiji's father look up and push the door open. Momiji sat upright in bed, the light from the open door glinted on the tears that trickled down his cheek. His father crossed the room and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Are you all right, Momiji?" he said, placing a hand on his son's small shoulder.

"Yes, father," said Momiji, wiping the back of his hand across he cheeks. He was smiling. "I really am."

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"No…more like a dream. It was like…" the boy paused, "like having your heart broken, and then finding the person who can heal it."

"That sounds like a very good dream," said Momiji's father with an answering smile to cover the heaviness in his heart. This was something he could not understand, a Zodiac matter. There was an unsettling light in his son's face. "You should go back to sleep. You need to go back to Japan in a few hours."

"Really? Thank you, father!" said Momiji. "I can't wait to see Tohru and ask her how it happened."

"I'm sure you'll get the chance once you're home," his father said. He leaned forward and kissed his son on the forehead. "Sleep well."

Momiji nodded and snuggled back into the blankets, smiling. As his father closed the door behind him he could not help but wonder why the name Tohru sounded so familiar, and if he would ever see his son again.

* * *

Author Note: Once again, thank you for reading. Please help an insecure author by leaving a review!


	27. Chapter 27

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Life has been crazy! The story is still going! Please enjoy and review! Sorry this chapter is short! More extensive note at the bottom!

* * *

The bars over the window exploded in a shower of bamboo splinters as Kyo's fist smashed into them, cutting his knuckles, leaving smears of blood that he ignored as reared back for another blow. Wood crunched under his fist, falling to the ground in a scatter of shards. He swore. Iron bars glinted in the moonlight beneath the remaining splinters that clung to the window frame. He cast his gaze about searching for another opening but already he had torn through the bars over the door and window and both had revealed metal rods beneath the bamboo sheath. Spaced only inches apart, he didn't need to transform to know that even as a cat he would not be able to slip between them.

"AKITO!" he howled, driving his fist into the wall, "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" The plaster disintegrated beneath his knuckles. "AKITO!" Beads of flesh trickled down the veins of his arm and he fell to his knees with a grunt, clenching his wrist in a vice grip, panting as he struggled to force the transformation down. With a snarl he threw his partially transformed fist at the wall. Plaster exploded outward and pain shot up his arm despite the hardened flesh of the original form that flared in blotches up his arm.

Stone. The bastards had built the house out of stone blocks, huge ones, and covered them in plaster. The Cat's House, which didn't look like much more than a shed from the outside, was built like a prison. _The damn thing could probably survive a tank,_ Kyo realized_. Or the original form_.

Kyo sucked down a deep breath and screamed through the bars, "HEY! SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF HERE!" His own voice echoed back at him.

"There has to be a way out," he muttered. His voice growing hoarse from the screaming. But even probing every inch of the walls did not reveal any weaknesses in the structure, and after an hour of beating the walls until his knuckles were bloody he had made no progress except to strip the plaster from the door frame.

"Damn it," he swore, as he collapsed against the corner. "Damn it! AKITO!" he shouted, bashing the back of his fist against the wall beside him, "LEAVE HER ALONE!"

Any relief he might have felt at being human again was drowned in the tide of panic. Somewhere Tohru was out there, in danger. Even if he did manage to escape, would she even know who he was? The thought of seeing her again, only to have her stare at him with empty eyes made his stomach lurch.

And never mind him, how much damage would it do to have a whole year of her memory erased? The Sohmas had surrounded her from the day she arrived, how would she deal with having nothing there to account for a year of missing memories? Would she be scared? Would she think she had gone crazy? He raked his hands into his hair, wincing at the slicing sensation from the hint of claws at the end of his fingers. If he hadn't been such an idiot, if he hadn't driven Tohru away in the first place…

_Then Akito wouldn't have even had to ask you where to find her_, a corner of his brain reminded him. _It's going to take him days to find that out. Yuki will never tell, and even Shigure isn't that stupid. _He cursed himself inwardly, _Damn it, if I hadn't gotten Akito_ _so riled up none of this would have happened. I could have just put the bracelet on and walked out!_ He glanced over at fallen bracelet, resting in the middle of the room where he had dropped it.

He knew it would work, of course it would. Even as his limbs warped and twisted in response to his fear he knew that if he put the bracelet on he wouldn't have to worry about transforming again.

_You depend on that bracelet, the blood and bone of human sacrifice, to give you a normal shell… _Kyo winced at the memory. _Isn't that right, Kyo? You can't stay human without that charm. It's not your natural form._

"I _don't_ need it," he growled to the empty room. He took a deep breath, forcing down the acid of fear and rage. His limbs shrunk back to normal, the claws disappeared, his spine straightened. He took another shuddering breath and probed his face with his fingers. Human. He smirked triumphantly. He could control it. He just couldn't get scared. Or angry. Or blow up over anything, ever.

Yeah, right.

But if he put it on then Akito was right. Anyway, the original form had a much better chance of breaking out than his human one.

He climbed to his feet and closed his eyes. He imagined Akito's face, the bastard's smirk when he told Kyo he was a monster, and that Tohru had been too weak to stay. Rage flashed and he snarled despite himself, the snarl quickly turning to a grimace as steam filled the room and he was bent in half by the shudder of transformation. His limbs distended, his spine twisted.

He would not be beaten by a stupid door. The metal hinges squeeled as the hard flesh of the original form's claws drove into them. They didn't budge, but he had all night.

His eyes flashed violet.

* * *

Author Note: This was supposed to be a much longer chapter, however Kyo's POV only made up a small part and, while being necessary, it didn't quite match the tone of the rest of the chapter. I hope you will forgive its brevity while I work on the much larger (and for me, extremely difficult) next chapter. As always, reviews are appreciated.


	28. Chapter 28

**To Be Human**

Author Note: Here's the rest of the chapter. Once again _Shigure_ (fumes) was causing trouble. Seriously, no other character has ever deliberately disobeyed me the way he does. Now I know how Akito feels.

So yes, if you are reading this I've finally pushed my through the block that was their dialogue (which I've been stuck on for months, as you may have noticed). Please enjoy!

* * *

Shigure had come in late the night before, waking Yuki with the swish and clatter of the door. Shigure had forgotten to take his shoes off, and an annoyed frown had creased Yuki's lips at the heavy footfalls. The sound continued as Shigure paced back and forth. Yuki had sighed, wondering if he should get out of bed to tell the stupid Dog off. It's not like they had someone to take care of the house anymore. Eventually he had rolled over and snuggled back into his pillow to sleep.

But now it was well into mid morning. After cobbling together a light breakfast of (burned) rice and green tea, Yuki had found himself with little to do. The house was tomblike without Tohru or Kyo. Student Council would not be meeting that day and it wouldn't be right to try to intrude on Tohru at her family's home so soon. With a little time he would try to convince her to return.

Which left only the Dog. Yuki took a final sip of the watery tea and left the empty mug in the sink. He had half a mind to tell pester Shigure for conversation, or perhaps just tell him off for coming home so late the night before.

He found Shigure asleep at his desk in a puddle of drool, still wearing his suit from the previous night, and moved to shake him awake. His office smelled of musty books and stale coffee, the desk was a disaster area of scattered pages, newspapers, and notebooks filled with scribbled longhand. The power button on the computer blinked sleepily. Yuki's eyes wandered over the piles of papers, vaguely curious at what might be the novelist's latest project, when he saw Tohru's name peaking at him from a notebook at Shigure's elbow. Without really registering what he was doing, he picked it up, his eyes flickering as he studied it. The rest notes made little sense, a random collection of sentences and lines like, "_Can it still be broken?_"

"What is this?" he murmured, glancing down at Shigure. Tohru's name had been underlined, circled and, then circled again for emphasis. But lifting the notebook had revealed another hidden beneath it, this one yellowed with age. A far more careful hand had filled those pages, though it was still recognizably Shigure's penmanship. Yuki picked up the second notebook, turning to the first page. There was a number in the top right hand corner, and with a shock he realized it was a date, roughly 900 AD. It seemed to contain transcriptions from ancient records. Prominently visible were the words _Zodiac_, _blessing_, and _Jade Emperor_. Beneath those words was another note "_The remaining record has been lost to the fire._"

"Lost to the fire?" Yuki murmured. Were these Shigure's notes on the Curse? He lowered himself to the ground; the notebook cupped in his hand, and began to read. It did not take long, none of the pages held more than a few fragmentary sentences chronicling the path of the Sohma family from the dimmest reaches of time. The Zodiac members in particular figured prominently, and a pattern quickly emerged. There was no mention of missing family members. Even when the fragments of a death record were recorded (_Rabbit and Tiger were lost in the battle…_) the next fragment would speak as if they were all there (…_once again united by birth, the Zodiac made common agreement…_). Even though many of the records were incoherent, or seemed to only document daily goings-on, he found himself engrossed. It was a side of his family he had never before seen, though he knew they were an old clan. Even the Imperial family and the oldest samurai clans did not always have such detailed records covering this many centuries. Then again, they were not caught in an endless cycle of reincarnation that stretched back hundreds of years. Chills ran down Yuki's spine when the Rat's name appeared and he told himself that what he felt could _not_ be a dim memory, grabbing at his soul like the fingers of a ghost.

He flipped another page and blinked. Somehow he had already reached the end. There was only one sentence, and a date. He did a quick calculation in his head, placing the event during the summer of 1600. A year dripping in blood. It appeared the Sohma Clan had been as guilty of violence as any other.

_I, Hisui Sohma, Jade Emperor of the Sohma Clan, do hereby authorize the execution by seppuku of Keiji Sohma, the Cat, for crimes against the clan._

Yuki sat staring at the page. What did it mean? Why was Shigure going through these records? Was he still trying to find a way to break the Curse?

"That is the last record from before the fire. After 1600, the Sohma family began recording all the births and deaths of the Zodiac members in detail. They were never united again, until today." Yuki jumped, slamming the notebook shut. Shigure was awake, his head still pillowed in his arms, gazing at Yuki. His eyes were red-rimmed with exhaustion.

"Why was he executed?" said Yuki. A faint flush colored his cheeks at being caught snooping, but the curiosity was too great to dwell on it.

Shigure grimaced and rubbed the drool off his lips against his sleeve, "What do I think? I think the Cat committed some crime that destroyed the Zodiac Cycle. Why else would the god have him executed?"

"I suppose that would make sense," said Yuki, furrowing his brow and glancing back at the yellowing notebook. "Why were you reading this? And why did you come back so late last night? You forgot to take your shoes off," he added crossly.

Shigure lips twitched but his eyes were distant, as if he were rolling Yuki's words over in his head. "Hmm. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Yuki cocked an eyebrow at him. With a sigh, Shigure pushed himself upright and stretched luxuriously, falling back on his hands. "So, what would you say if I told you I'm not Cursed anymore?"

The blood in Yuki's veins seemed to freeze, "I would say you shouldn't joke about that sort of thing," he retorted sharply.

"And if it wasn't a joke?" Shigure said. Yuki fell silent. If it wasn't a joke? The thought was like a vice around his throat. Too much hope rising inside him, too much painful jealousy. Why Shigure? The man was already free of Akito's grasp, already leading his life however he pleased. By what right had he been freed of the Curse? "Am I really the kind of person who would lie about this sort of thing?"

"Yes," said Yuki. Shigure clasped his hand to his heart as if stabbed.

"Ah, Yuki, you wound me," he whined.

"Spare me, _Shigure_, this isn't funny," Yuki said, then crouched to his knees next to Shigure, looking intently into his eyes, daring him to lie, "Is it true? How did it happen? And why? Is it… spreading?"

"First, I don't know why, the whole thing was quite sudden," said Shigure. "And, as far as I know, I am the only one." Not strictly true, but Yuki does not need to know of his suspicions. And now the line of loyalty was clear. As long as Yuki is bound to Akito, and the boy would know if he were not, he could not actively defy the holder of his bond. Unless…

Unless defiance was the key to breaking the Curse.

Yuki looked crestfallen at Shigure's admission that his freedom from the Curse was not imminent. And that was the problem, wasn't it? For all that Yuki was amongst the most damaged by Akito, he had never fought back even in the face of torture. Moving in with Shigure had been his greatest act of defiance, but he had never truly left the sphere of Akito's influence. It would take only the crook of Akito's finger to drag him back into that darkness.

Shigure studied his younger cousin as the boy chewed on his lip, clearly struggling to come up with some way to tease more information from him. Clearly wanting to be rescued, though he would never admit it. In a way, Shigure hated him for thats.

The boy was beautiful, passive, and delicate. The perfect victim. In every instance he brought the worst out of Akito, drawing out her desire to dominate, to hurt, to control those around her and force them into submission as a twisted parody of love. Yuki was her drug, and his very presence wreaked havoc on her sanity. Shigure had offered Yuki a place in his home, despite his desire for solitude, for this very reason. Not to save the boy, no, one who could not rescue himself did not deserve to be rescued. But because it took one more drug away from Akito, one more crutch that she depended on to convince herself that the Curse was her only method of keeping those she loved.

But perhaps the boy had grown. Perhaps one more push was all that was needed to for him to finally fight back. "I do know one other thing though," said Shigure, "Akito knows, and he blames Tohru. He'll be looking for her already, and knowing him he will most likely want to wipe her memories."

A look of dawning horror turned Yuki's already pale skin paper white, "You…you," he stuttered, "you stupid dog, _why didn't you say something sooner_?"

"There was no need, as Akito does not know where she is," Shigure said with a proud little smirk.

Yuki gaped, his mouth working as if gasping for air and suddenly Shigure was knocked back and Yuki was grabbing, no, _strangling _him by the collar of his suit, "Shigure, one of the Sohma House _chauffeurs_ brought Tohru to her grandfather's house. Of _course_ Akito knows where she is!" He threw Shigure backwards and shot to his feet. "I have to go, we have to do something before Akito finds her," he looked down at Shigure and gestured impatiently, "Come on. What if he has her already? Shigure, he might kill her!"

"He doesn't, I would know," said Shigure quietly, but Yuki's panic was infectious and he shifted uneasily as he sat back up, tugging at the collar of his shirt. But would he know if her memories had been erased? He had not felt any sort of fear, which Tohru would certainly experience if she were to be captured. He felt only the low pulse of anger at the other end of the bond, like a heartbeat. Surely that meant her memories were still intact, that anger could only come from outrage over Kyo. Which meant she was safe, though he could not tell how long until that anger pushed her forward, back into danger.

"You can't know that," said Yuki, "And you're the only one who can convince Akito to let her go. We have to hurry."

"I can assure you, _nothing_ good will come of me intervening on Tohru's behalf," said Shigure. He stared up at Yuki, unmoving, his gaze steady. Yuki took one last look at him and retracted his hand, then turned and dashed out the door.

Shigure stared for a moment after Yuki, listening as to the swish and clatter of the door as the boy took off towards Sohma House. _It's for the best_, he told himself,_ Akito would be furious at the sight of me, there's nothing I could have done_. _And who knows, perhaps this will be enough to free Yuki_. But the uneasiness did not depart, and the assurances he whispered to himself prickled like lies.

* * *

Voices swirled about her, plucking at her consciousness like children at a mother's dress. _Lord Akito, what food to serve…_? _Lord Akito, the quarters for the Zodiac members, where will they be? Lord Akito, please guide us…Lord Akito…Lord Akito…_

She had screamed at them, meaningless words that served only to ban from her presence. The windows of the audience room were shuttered and there was no one to open them for her. She drew her legs up to her chest, her forehead to her knee that poked out white and cold from the careless drapery of her kimono. Exhaustion pressed on her brain like knife-edge while the dizzy cloud of sleep crushed her, the darkness of the room seducing her, dragging her down to oblivion. Her eyes fluttered…

_Brown coils shifted and tightened, driving the air from her lungs as Dragon bewhiskered face was lowered to meet hers._

"_You should not have come," it spoke with Hatori's voice, though its lips made no movement. The coils clenched, but this time they did not let go, did not release her to run, sobbing with fear from his presence. No, this time the pressure grew, her ribs cracking as the fragile bones gave way, her lungs collapsing, blood pouring from her mouth in a gurgling scream as the Dragon's mouth opened, revealing rows of ivory teeth like knives. It pulled her inexorably toward its mouth, its hot breath like an oven..._

_The jaws slammed shut. _

With a gasp of terror she jerked awake, her teeth set as if she could brace her whole body against the nightmares that haunted the edge of sleep. She scraped the raw flesh of the heel of her hand against her eyes, her breath ragged as she swallowed, forcing the memory down. Time, she just needed time. Another two days and the Zodiac bond would be renewed. Just two days…

A shard of light stabbed across the floor as the door slid open. A subdued voice murmured into the room, "Lord Akito, Yuki Sohma is here. He has requested an audience. Should I send him away?"

"Send him…" her voice creaked as she spoke, "Send him…in."

The silhouette bowed and vanished behind the door. Akito fixed a single baleful eye on the door as her Rat appeared; figure as slim and willowy as a girl. A secret smirk tugged at her lips as he stepped forward and faltered at the darkness. She could see the fear rising about him like smoke. The dark room of his childhood shone in his eyes, turned them black. Still he came forward, haltingly, until he knelt at the foot of her dais.

"Decided to come early, have you my dear?" she crooned. With a single snake-like motion she uncoiled and rose, her naked feet stepped delicately from the dais. Yuki's lowered eyes could not help but follow them as Akito stalked forward, circling him as if he were prey, her thick silk robes dragging behind her. "Were you really so eager to come here? Are you truly so alone that you had no peace to make with the world? … Though, that would be true to form, would it not?" Akito said with a tiny smile as she looked down at her Rat. He was so small, crouched down like that, fragile and shivering. This was one who would never leave her. He wouldn't dare.

"I don't understand what you mean, Lord Akito," his voice was soft, but steady. And sincere. Akito's gaze shot to his face in surprise.

"Then why are you here? Did you…miss me?" an acid tone disguised her flash of hope. How foolish, the god worrying about the loss of her animals; or being happy if they returned.

Yuki looked at her, uncertainty replaced by something stronger. "I came to offer myself."

Akito missed a step, one foot flicking out to cover the stumble by resuming the dais. She lowered herself across from him, staring intently as if to find an answer hidden in his face. "In exchange for what?"

"Tohru Honda," Yuki said, "If you leave her alone…if you stop hunting her…I will stay here. For the rest of my life. I won't try to escape, or contact the outside world. Just give me proof that she is safe and I will remain by your side. Forever. Please." He looked to her from beneath his lashes, unintentionally seductive, "Please, just leave her and her memories alone."

He was sincere, and so trusting as he pleaded with those big violet eyes. There was really nothing else to do but laugh. She threw back her head and did just that. Just laughed and laughed and laughed. It echoed amongst the rafters in great hysterical peals and the tears of exhaustion streamed down her face unchecked. Yuki was staring at her in bewilderment, the fear growing and twisting inside him like a worm as he began to understand. Oh, wasn't that just the best part? Watching the understanding dawn in his eyes, his body twitching towards the door like an animal that had just realized how well and truly trapped it was.

"My poor, stupid Rat. You're not very good at this, are you?" Akito giggled. "Even when you try to resist you just enslave yourself more tightly than ever. The first thought you had was to offer your freedom; as if it was something you could give away. As if it was something you had ever possessed."

"If you trap me here, I will escape. I will never forgive you, and I'll never stop fighting you," said Yuki, his face twisting into a pale shadow of defiance.

"Oh Yuki, you act as if that would concern me. You can fight all you want, until you die even. It doesn't matter to me. It never has," said Akito gaily.

Yuki's body was pulling in on itself unconsciously, defensively, as she spoke. As if the weight of the darkness and her laughter were pushing down on him as her words sank in, "Just… don't hurt her. Please."

She stopped laughing. "Or you'll do what?" Akito said. Her eyes found his, her gaze transfixing him like a snake watching a mouse.

He dropped his gaze. "Nothing," Yuki whispered. "There's nothing I can offer you that you can't take, and I don't have any favors I can trade you. I can only beg. Please, Akito, if you ever loved us, any of us ever, you will let her go. Maybe we were always just toys to you, born to worship. But she treated us differently. Around her… I felt like a human being. And…I know its wrong. It was wrong to think that. But that wasn't her fault, she didn't know any better. Just for a little while she made us all happy. That has to count for something, right?"

And the fire that had burned in her stomach since she had heard the damn girl's name exploded. She was on her feet, one hand buried in Yuki's hair, pulling his head up as if to cut his throat. He cried out and she forced his face higher, pulling him into a half-crouch.

"_Shut up_ about the girl!" she screamed and threw him to the ground. He fell hard on his side. "She didn't _love_ you. Don't you understand? She only pitied you! It wasn't magic, she isn't _special_. Anyone who knew all of you, your pathetic secret, your _Curse_, would pity you. _I_ am the only one who has ever loved you, really loved you, for who you are. I alone have never flinched away from you true existence, from the Rat that lives inside of you. Your own parents could not love you, your brother didn't even try, but I did. I alone treated you as you deserved!" Her heart hammered in her chest and her blood burned in her veins. The Rat stared up at her from where he had collapsed, his eyes wide…but not with fear. Instead he looked puzzled, as if only now he had begun to see the solution to a puzzle that had bedeviled him for years.

"Yes…yes you did," he said, slowly collecting his composure. He resumed his seisa position and stared up at her calmly. "But she treated me like I deserved more."

Her full-armed slap rang out across the room. Yuki recoiled, clutching his cheek, and with a grunt she clutched her hand at the pain of the impact. Akito opened her mouth to scream at him, to put him in his place, when a thought flashed across her mind like a meteor, burning all other plans away. A look of animal cunning twisted her narrow features.

"My poor Rat, don't you realize that I was only trying to spare you the pain? If you had just been able to come to terms with her true intentions…oh dear, this has become so awkward. You see, she came to _us_ to have her memories erased."

"Impossible," said Yuki flatly.

"But its true. Kyo…well, he said such horrible things to her. And when she learned the news, she simply couldn't bear it."

"What news?"

"She said that losing her memory would be less painful…"

"_What news, _Akito?" grated Yuki.

"Why, that she would be losing all of you to the Banquet." The blood drained from Yuki's face. "You didn't know? How unfortunate, as it is only two days away. Though on second thought…"

Yuki shot to his feet, his body stiff and rigged and poised to flee.

"On second thought, why wait?" Akito said, her smile growing as the idea became more appealing. "Why not have it…tomorrow? Guards!" The door to the audience chamber slammed open, sending a shiver of shock through Yuki's body. "Alert the staff that Banquet will be moved forward to tomorrow. Furthermore, Yuki Sohma is to be confined to his room until that time. His _old_ room."

"No," Yuki breathed, "No, you're lying. She wouldn't have her memory erased for that. She would stay, even if the memories were painful she would stay!"

"Believe what you will," Akito said dismissively as the guards rushed into the room, grabbing Yuki by the arms. "I watched the light go out of her eyes; I watched her face go slack as she forgot you, _all of you_. She's not there anymore, Yuki. The bitch you worshipped is _gone_." Her words finally struck home and Yuki gave a strangled sob, his face ashen as the servants surrounded him. He made no move to resist.

She settled herself back on the dais, the warm glow of pleasure suffusing her limbs. True, it would be difficult to have the entire matter arranged for the next day, but the servants would manage. She was the god, after all.

* * *

Shigure looked up at from his notes at the sound of the knocking, running a careless hand through his hair as he stood. He still wore the suit, rumpled as it was, from the night before and he had not moved since Yuki departed. Unable to sleep, he had turned back to his notes, trying to tease some small meaning from the dusty archives of Sohma family history. So far there had been no new revelations.

He walked to the front door and slid it open, plastering his most empty-headed smile across his face for the two gentlemen at the door. Both wore the familiar suits of Sohma House servants.

"Is this about Yuki?" he said, his good-natured masking slipping only a fraction.

"Shigure Sohma, you have been summoned to Sohma House by order of Lord Akito. This is not an optional invitation. You will come with us peacefully."

"And if I don't?" said Shigure with some amusement. Without the Bond there was no compulsion to follow Akito's order. Fascinating.

"Then we will our utmost to…persuade you," the second servant said. Suddenly Shigure the two were not alone. A second car had parked behind the first, with four men waiting inside. "We are not here to play games, Master Shigure," warned the first man. "We do not want to hurt you, but we have been authorized to do so should you resist."

"Resist what?" said Shigure impatiently, unease growing in his belly. "What is so important that Akito requires me now?"

"You have been summoned to attend the Banquet, Master Shigure, the final Banquet," Shigure's eyes widened as realization shot through his veins like lightning. He should have seen this, he should have _known_. And Yuki was already there, how could he have been so _stupid_. "There is no need to collect your things. Everything you need will be provided. Now, if you will please come along."

* * *

Author Note: Can you tell I that I've been recently obsessed with "Tangled"? Ugh, been waiting forever to get this chapter out, Yuki's POV is strangely difficult for me. Anyway, let me know what you think, any predictions you might have, anything you'd like to see before the end. It all helps! I love hearing from you.


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